"I would have been a billionaire," she mumbled, in a daze.
"Karma sucks sometimes," I said, needling her.
"Watch your mouth, Ava," my mother snapped. "That's enough out of you."
"I'm just saying … "
"I said that's enough! You know what? I don't even want to look at you right now. Go wait in the car."
I gritted my teeth and groaned in frustration, but I took the car keys. Mom and I had been fighting a lot. I was eighteen now, and she refused to acknowledge that I was a full-fledged grown-up. It made her feel old to be the mother of an adult daughter. I stormed out of the grocery store, my oversized purse slapping at my hip. As I rushed through the parking lot, a gangly bag boy whistled at me. He grinned and looked me up and down, enjoying the view of my full-figured curves.
I narrowed my eyes, flashing a go-fuck-yourself look that scared the bag boy right back into the store.
She's such a bitch, I fumed to myself. It's not my fault she ran off her husband and now she's paying the consequences. The more I thought about it the more I seethed with resentment. I can't wait to get out from under her roof.
I sat in the front passenger seat and didn't lift a finger to help Mom load the grocery bags in the trunk. She didn't even look in my direction on the drive home, muttering to herself about her burdens and the unfairness of life. I rolled my eyes when she grumbled that Trent had abandoned her, when we both knew good and well that she was the one who had left him. Trent hadn't wanted the divorce.
Sitting in the car, alone with Mom, I remembered life with Trent. I'm not saying he was the best dad ever. He was strict and usually preoccupied by work. His demeanor could swing from warm to chilly without warning. But I could hardly remember my real dad, and Trent was the closest thing to a father that I had.
Oh, well. Now that I was on my way to college, I didn't need a dad anymore.
When Mom pulled up in our garage, I jumped from the car and hurried to my room and slammed the door. Needing to get away from my mom, I texted my boyfriend Nate to come pick me up. I heard his car engine rumbling in the driveway before I got his text, and I made a dash for the front door.
"Where do you think you're going?" Mom shouted, but I was out the door before she could stop me.
II.
Nate took me to a party in the suburbs, where everyone was listening to hip hop and drinking stale beer. I was still fuming about my spat with Mom.
///
"She's so unreasonable," I complained.
"Forget about your mom for half a minute," Nate said as he placed a hand on my thigh. "We're all having fun here except for you."
What did he know? I was so worked up, I couldn't let it go. I kept thinking about the arguments Mom and I kept having, which seemed to be flaring up all the time these days. We had been on our own since she left Trent. You'd think that would have drawn us closer, two single women trying to get by, but the opposite was true. She assumed she'd meet another man. There was never a shortage of eligible bachelors when Mom was younger, but Mom had really let herself go in the years she was married to Trent. The experience had left her bitter.
"The good men are all taken," she was always grumbling.
I really didn't feel like being at this party. I watched two drunk girls who were giggling and sloshing beer on the living room carpet. They were very pretty, with their flat tummies and little butts. Seeing them made me feel self-conscious about my own ample curves. I was the girl who developed huge boobs way too early, like fifth grade, and had always been bigger than the other kids in my class.
I turned to Nate, who was sitting quietly beside me on the couch. To my indignation, I realized he was staring at the thin girls, too. One of them drunkenly stumbled, then caught herself before falling over. Beer sloshed everywhere. She giggled, and a dopy grin spread across Nate's face.
"I want you to take me home now," I said.
"Now?" Nate replied with surprise. "But we haven't floated the keg."
"I'm just ready to go home," I said.
"Whatever," he shrugged.
We didn't talk for most of the drive home. It was well after midnight, and the streets were dark. "Why are you being so quiet?" Nate asked, finally breaking the silence.
"You were looking at those girls," I accused.
"What girls?" Nate asked, playing dumb.
"Those skinny bitches at the party. You were practically drooling over them."
"You're crazy," Nate said. "I was just laughing at them for being so dumb and wasted. You know I only have eyes for your sexy ass."
I knew he was just placating me, but I appreciated the compliment. He was a nice boy, for the most part. Handsome in a generic way, and a bit too skinny. Sometimes I felt self-conscious walking with him in public because I was a little bigger around than him. Kissing him was okay. His mouth tasted nice because he was always chewing minty gum. But I was never sure he was doing it right. His mouth felt like a vacuum cleaner on my lips. Then, when he tried to grab my boobs, he'd forget to kiss and our mouths would be jammed together, not moving, like two suction cups you can't get unstuck.
But Nate was the only boy who had ever shown any interest in me, and I appreciated him for that. Soon I'd be ready to go all the way with him.
Nate pulled up in front of my house. It was your average three-bed, two-bath number in a nondescript neighborhood. All the lights were off, so I was confident that Mom was sleeping. Nate turned off the car engine and leaned in, his eyes closed and lips puckered. I put a hand on his chest to keep his lips from locking with mine.
"Do you want to come inside?" I asked.
"Sure!" he exclaimed.
"Okay," I said, the calmness of my voice in stark contrast to my racing heart. I wasn't sure if I was making the right decision. But I had to pop my cherry sometime, right? Why not with my loving boyfriend?
We got out and walked up to the front door. It was a bit cool, and I wished Nate would put his arm around me, but he didn't think to do that. My key slid into the door and it creaked open. I froze for a second, the wheeze of the door hinges filling me with fear that my mom might hear. When all was quiet, I guided Nate through our dark kitchen and living room, down the hall and into my bedroom.
He plopped down on my bed, scattering a pile of books I had left there. One of them fell to the floor with a thud.
"Shhhh!" I scolded.
"Sorry!" he whispered.
Nate perched his narrow butt on the edge of the bed, and I sat down beside him. Side by side, not talking or looking at each other, we stared at my Taylor Swift poster on the wall. When Nate made no move to embrace me, it was incredibly awkward. I looked at his face, and he turned toward me. I saw the uncertainty in his brown eyes. Well, if hewasn't going to be a man and kiss me, then I would have to wear the pants in this relationship.
///
My head tilted and moved closer to Nate. He followed my lead, and we kissed. From the way I was hunched over, the waistband of my jeans dug into my side. It kind of hurt. For some reason, Nate grabbed my roll of flab, caressing it. His hands touching me there made me feel self-conscious, but I pushed through my own feelings of anxiety and gently placed a hand on Nate's crotch. I wasn't sure what to do, so I kind of massaged him, and suddenly I could feel the swelling tightness in his jeans.
Touching his little cock turned me on, and I sensed the heat rising between my legs. Nate moaned, turning me on even more. I got on my knees, kneeling before him, and fumbled with the button of his jeans, until he got impatient and pulled his jeans and boxers down to his ankles in a single tug.
My eyes widened. Never in my life had I been in such close proximity to a naked dick. It kind of reminded me of a bent hot dog wienie. I couldn't tell if I should be turned on or revolted by the sight of the hard pink thing staring back at me.
"Kiss it," Nate said.
I hesitantly leaned forward and gave a little peck to the tip of Nate's dick. It instantly sprang to attention and a ragged moan passed through Nate's lips. He seemed to be having a seizure.
"Oh," he kept moaning, "oh, oh, oh."
My lips had barely grazed him! I had no idea that I could wield so much power over him, a mere kiss driving him wild. Nate's body was twitching, his loss of control intensifying. With a mix of horror and curiosity I watched the swollen tip of his dick, bright pink like a melted popsicle.