“Go back to being Daisy? What in God’s name are you talking about?”
After a long pause, she answered. “At first I thought this feeling was just a reaction to kissing you, making love with you. But now it’s more like … like … events spinning out of control, things running away with me. All I can imagine is selling my house, changing my job, losing my name, losing my career, being responsible for kids if we have them. Not being in control of my life again. And I’m afraid.”
“Afraid? Of me?”
“No, of course I’m not afraid of you. I’m afraid of what loving you means.”
“But we’ve never talked about any of that and I’ve certainly never asked you to do any of those things.”
“I know you haven’t. But isn’t that what happens when people pair up? Get serious? Isn’t that what people expect?” She stared at her hands, clenched into fists.
“People, Margo? Or you overthinking everything. Running it into the ground.” He ran his thumb back and forth across his mouth. Finally, he said, “I’m not sure what to say. Most of what I can think of would probably make it worse. So, I’ll just ask one question.” He shook his head. “I’m not sure I’ll like the answer but — do you want us to be together when I get back?”
She kept her eyes down. “I don’t know what I want other than to stop feeling afraid.”
“That’s the answer then.” He stood up. “I’ll be in Long Beach for the next two days. When I come back, I’ll check into the Marriott where the other guys are staying. Should I call you?”
“If you still want to.”
He didn’t respond, but ran the steps to the second floor. He returned with his suitcase.
“Tony … ” She finally looked at him, at his back, as he opened the front door. “I’ve hurt you and I didn’t mean to. I didn’t. It’s just that … ”
“I know you didn’t mean to, Margo. But you did.” Without looking back, he slammed the door and was gone.
Chapter 16
“No, Kiki, that’s not what I asked for. I asked for the depositions on the Smithson case. This is the Smythden … ”
“I’m sorry. I should have asked you to write it down. They sound alike.” Kiki snatched the file from Margo’s outstretched hand. “Jeesh. I’ll be glad when Tony’s back and your disposition improves.”
“I wouldn’t count on that happening.” Margo busied herself with her computer.
“What’s that mean?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Oh, ’cause that always helps, not talking about it.”
“Just get me the right file, please.”
Kiki opened her mouth to respond but the phone rang and Margo shooed her out of the office and answered it.
“I need you over here, counselor,” Sam Richardson said. “Tony’s back and we have to get things set up for the meeting with Viktor.”
“Sam, can’t you do it without me, maybe find an officer who looks like me and let her meet him?”