To Professor, With Love(94)

 

“What kind of stuff does she make you do for extra credit? Write fuck me silly fifty times in a row? Do you call her Dr. Kavanagh when you’re inside her? Hey, do you even know her first name?”

 

“Enough!”

 

“Think she’d lift my grade too if I offered to lick her—”

 

With a roar, I launched myself at Ten’s legs. When we both toppled over backward off the table, someone screamed and about a dozen players surged forward to break us apart. But I still got in a couple decent punches before I was pulled off him.

 

Quinn was the only one with enough muscle to drag me away. Breathing hard, I pushed him off me as soon as he got me alone in a brightly lit bathroom. But Jesus, I couldn’t believe my best friend on earth had just ousted me like that.

 

“I’m gonna kill him,” I muttered even as I grew sick to my stomach. Aspen would never forgive me for this. Oh, God. Had I just ruined her entire life? “I can’t believe he...he...”

 

“Jeez, Noel.” Hamilton tugged at my arm to get me to face him. “He’s drunk. He always talks stupid when he’s drunk.”

 

My chest heaved from how strongly I was breathing. “But he said—”

 

Quinn laughed and shook his head, looking completely unconcerned about how shit was about to hit the fan. “You’re not honestly worried we believed a word he said, are you? We all know how much you hate Kavanagh.”

 

When I shot him an irritated scowl, everything inside me was still too open and raw. The truth must’ve reflected on my face because his eyes widened.

 

“Oh,” he breathed, his mouth falling open as he gaped in absolute shock.

 

I hissed, “Shit,” and squeezed my eyes closed.

 

Damn it. Hamilton did not need to know about this. Too many people already knew. Hell, after Ten’s little show, I’d be surprised if everyone didn’t know. When I risked a glance his way, Quinn was still staring, badly.

 

“Look, it’s not what you think.”

 

He immediately lifted his hands and shook his head. “No. No, of course not,” he agreed. “I mean, after Coach Jacobi’s decree and the scandal on the volleyball team, you’d never risk her job and your own future like that, just to...” His eyes were wide and seeking. “Would you? You love her, right?”

 

It struck me just how truly innocent Quinn Hamilton was. I’d never heard the kid cuss, or say one disparaging thing about anyone else. He had that pure, boy-next-door edge about him and thought the best of everyone. We all teased him about being a virgin, and looking at him right then, I had to wonder if he really still was.

 

He stared at me with his hero-worship gaze on. I was the leader of our team, and he’d always looked at me as if I could do no wrong. If I said the wrong thing right now, I could wipe out his entire belief system.

 

“Fuck, yes, I love her,” I hissed. And then it struck me what I’d just admitted, but what shocked me most of all was that I hadn’t lied. All feeling drained from my limbs, and my face probably went sheet white as I stumbled back to sit on the closed seat of the toilet. “Oh, shit. I love her.”

 

I loved Aspen.

 

“Don’t worry.” Ham leapt forward and patted my shoulder to support me when I buried my face in my hands. “I won’t tell anyone. I swear. I mean, you’re really one of the only friends I have here, so...” He shrugged and offered me a pathetic smile. “I don’t have anyone to tell anyway.”

 

God, he just seemed so...young. I couldn’t remember ever being that young. I’d been wizened to the world since birth, always feeling responsible for someone, or avoiding a fight, or working to keep my nose clean. I’d never been able to gain such blind devotion for anyone the way Quinn seemed to have for me.

 

“Are you seriously only nineteen?” I wondered aloud, finding it hard to believe someone could stay that pure for that long.

 

Quinn flushed and cleared his throat before he scratched his ear. “Actually, I’m twenty-one.”

 

“Huh? But you’re a—”

 

“Yeah.” He shrugged and glanced away. “I was held back in school a few years.”

 

For some reason, that reminded me of Aspen, who’d been pushed forward in school. It must really fuck with a person socially to mess with their schooling timetable.

 

I stared at him with a new set of eyes, and opened my mouth to say shit-knew-what when the door to the bathroom opened.

 

Ten stumbled inside. A cut on his lip looked like it’d just finished bleeding. His eyes were bloodshot, but he seemed to have sobered quite a bit, because he immediately started apologizing.