To Make a Marriage(21)

Andie was taken aback. Adam hated the country, had always been extremely vocal on the subject. What-?

'I want our child to have the things I didn't,' he continued flatly, his  expression remote. 'Air to breathe. A garden to play in. Trees to  climb.'

Presents on birthdays and at Christmas …

Oh, how she wished she knew more about Adam's early life. But from an  early age she had been told by her mother that she was never to intrude  in that part of Adam's life, that if he ever wanted her, or any of the  sisters, to know, he would tell them. He never had.

Would it still be intruding, as his future wife, to ask him about it … ?



Andie was looking at him as if she had never seen him before. And he couldn't exactly blame her.

She had accepted his proposal, was obviously trying to make the best of  the fact that the two of them were soon to be married, but it wasn't  what she had planned for her life, was it? Harrie and Danie both had  careers too, very responsible ones, but Andie had always been the sister  who put her work before everything else. It was the existence of their  baby that had put that career indefinitely on hold.

Andie had come to terms with her pregnancy, now she needed time to come to terms with becoming his wife.

'Just think about it,' Adam encouraged. 'It doesn't have to be too far  out of London, can easily be in commuter distance. I just-the idea of  bringing a child up in an apartment in the middle of London just doesn't  appeal.' He pulled a face.

Andie still looked troubled.

Damn it, this was all his fault. If he hadn't lost his head that night. If-

If. If. If!

It was too late for ifs. He really would do everything in his power to  make this marriage and motherhood as enjoyable as possible for Andie.

Well … as enjoyable as it could be when she was obviously marrying a man she didn't love.

'Andie, I have to go away tomorrow for a few days,' he decided abruptly.  'some filming in Germany has hit a few financial snags the director  wants to discuss with me. I should only be away a few days.' He couldn't  seem to stop talking as she just looked at him with those deep green  eyes. 'Three or four at the most,' he concluded lamely.

Because until a few moments ago, he hadn't given the filming in Germany  another thought, not since he'd received the director's message this  afternoon. If he had thought about it at all he had been considering  asking the director to come to London for discussions. Until a few  moments ago …

Andie looked very much in need of some breathing space. Just space, really. From him.

And after his visitor earlier today, he needed some time to think too.  Oh, not about Andie; he had no doubts where marrying Andie was  concerned. She was everything he could ever want in a wife.

It was getting through the next three weeks to the wedding that was  consuming most of his thoughts. If that woman got so much as a hint that  he was going to be married-!

His mouth tightened angrily, grey eyes bleak. She had done her best to  ruin his life once before; he would not let her have the chance to do so  again. He still couldn't believe the bad luck that had made her appear  back in his life today, of all days. But then again, why couldn't he  believe it? The woman was his nemesis.                       
       
           



       

She didn't appear for months at a time usually; once it had been almost a  year. That time he had almost convinced himself that he wouldn't see  her again. Then she had appeared at his office, much as she had today,  almost as if no time had passed at all since he had last seen her.

She always wanted the same thing. Money. And like a fool, because of  some deeply buried memories of having once loved her, he always gave her  what she came for.

He knew, now that Andie was to be his wife, one day he would have to  tell her about the other woman, of what she had once been to him. But he  wanted Andie already safely established as his wife before he did that.

Coward, an inner voice taunted him.

Yes, he was a coward. But if being a coward now meant he kept Andie in  the future, then he would choose being a coward every time!

He sat forward in his seat, attempting a smile that he knew didn't quite  come off. But how could it? He had been churned up with conflicting  emotions ever since he'd returned to his office this afternoon and found  that wretched woman there. Half of him was looking forward to having  Andie as his wife, and to being her husband, and the other half of him  was terrified, after this afternoon, that the wedding would never take  place!

'I'll make sure I'm back in time for our appointment with Jonas on Monday afternoon,' he promised.

Andie swallowed hard, her expression bland-deliberately so, it seemed to  Adam. 'Of course you must go. I understand completely. After all, it's  your work.' She smiled.

But her eyes didn't. Those beautiful sparkling green eyes were completely emotionless.

Adam just wanted to sweep her up into his arms, tell her everything,  plead for her patience and understanding over a situation that had  caused him much heartache over the years. But he knew he couldn't do  that, that he had kept his own counsel for too long. He had only ever  spoken to one person about Glenda, and he had known Barbara well enough  to trust that she had taken his secret to the grave with her.

How he wished Barbara were here now!

'I really am rather tired now, Adam.' Andie spoke quietly, her gaze not  quite meeting his. 'And I'm sure you must have things to do if you  intend flying to Germany tomorrow,' she added pointedly.

He could feel the distance between them, a distance that seemed to be  widening, not lessening. He didn't know what to do or say to stop it  happening … !

'What will you do while I'm away?' he questioned, knowing by the way her  eyes widened indignantly that he had once again said the wrong thing.

'I believe I managed to keep myself occupied before you came into my  life, Adam,' she replied scornfully. 'And that I will continue to do  so,' she continued, green gaze flashing a warning.

He winced. 'I didn't mean-I was just taking an interest-I-'

He had sounded patronising! When, in reality, he was desperately trying  to find some common ground between them before he took his departure. He  didn't want to go away for three or four days feeling that things  weren't right between them.

Andie stood up, moving to lightly stroke his arm. 'It's all right,  Adam,' she told him. 'I do understand. This is going to take time to get  used to. For both of us.'

His expression softened as he looked up at her. She really was so very  much like Barbara. Perhaps if he just explained everything to Andie-

No!

It was a risk he dared not take. Not until after they were married, anyway. When he would have no choice.

He stood up, aware of Andie's move away from him as he did so, his smile  slightly tinged with bitterness. If Andie didn't love him now, shied  away from being close to him, how much more difficult was this going to  be once they were married?

'I'll call you from Germany,' he said as the two of them walked to the door.

'You will?' Andie sounded doubtful.

'Of course I will.' He turned and grasped her arms, bending slightly so  that he could look into the magnolia beauty of her face. 'I'll need to  know that my fiancée is well,' he teased.

'Your pregnant fiancée,' Andie amended.

Implying that was the only reason he would be telephoning, to make sure  that their baby, rather than Andie herself, was still well!

Adam wanted to assure her that it was her he cared about, her health and  welfare that concerned him. But he knew she wouldn't believe him even  if he tried to tell her that. Because without the existence of that  baby, Andie would never have agreed to marry him …

The next three weeks, until he could make Andie his wife, stretched out  before him like a minefield. And each step he took could be the one that  made his future with Andie blow up in his face … !                       
       
           



       





CHAPTER NINE




'THIS is what you've always wanted, isn't it?' Harrie asked indulgently  as Andie paraded in front of her in yet another wedding dress.

Andie pulled a face. 'To find a wedding dress that hides the fact I'll  be almost four months pregnant when I walk down the aisle on Rome's arm  as the blushing bride?'

'Good try, Andie,' her sister replied. 'But you know very well that isn't what I'm referring to.'

Of course she knew. But had she really been that transparent in her  feelings towards Adam? She had thought, over the years, that she had  hidden them rather well. But not, it seemed, from her eldest sister, who  knew her so well …

Harrie had telephoned her yesterday and suggested the two of them went  shopping today to look for a wedding dress, and, feeling Adam's absence  in Germany as deeply as she was, Andie had been only too happy for the  suggested diversion from her own troubled thoughts.