Andie was taken aback. Adam hated the country, had always been extremely vocal on the subject. What-?
'I want our child to have the things I didn't,' he continued flatly, his expression remote. 'Air to breathe. A garden to play in. Trees to climb.'
Presents on birthdays and at Christmas …
Oh, how she wished she knew more about Adam's early life. But from an early age she had been told by her mother that she was never to intrude in that part of Adam's life, that if he ever wanted her, or any of the sisters, to know, he would tell them. He never had.
Would it still be intruding, as his future wife, to ask him about it … ?
Andie was looking at him as if she had never seen him before. And he couldn't exactly blame her.
She had accepted his proposal, was obviously trying to make the best of the fact that the two of them were soon to be married, but it wasn't what she had planned for her life, was it? Harrie and Danie both had careers too, very responsible ones, but Andie had always been the sister who put her work before everything else. It was the existence of their baby that had put that career indefinitely on hold.
Andie had come to terms with her pregnancy, now she needed time to come to terms with becoming his wife.
'Just think about it,' Adam encouraged. 'It doesn't have to be too far out of London, can easily be in commuter distance. I just-the idea of bringing a child up in an apartment in the middle of London just doesn't appeal.' He pulled a face.
Andie still looked troubled.
Damn it, this was all his fault. If he hadn't lost his head that night. If-
If. If. If!
It was too late for ifs. He really would do everything in his power to make this marriage and motherhood as enjoyable as possible for Andie.
Well … as enjoyable as it could be when she was obviously marrying a man she didn't love.
'Andie, I have to go away tomorrow for a few days,' he decided abruptly. 'some filming in Germany has hit a few financial snags the director wants to discuss with me. I should only be away a few days.' He couldn't seem to stop talking as she just looked at him with those deep green eyes. 'Three or four at the most,' he concluded lamely.
Because until a few moments ago, he hadn't given the filming in Germany another thought, not since he'd received the director's message this afternoon. If he had thought about it at all he had been considering asking the director to come to London for discussions. Until a few moments ago …
Andie looked very much in need of some breathing space. Just space, really. From him.
And after his visitor earlier today, he needed some time to think too. Oh, not about Andie; he had no doubts where marrying Andie was concerned. She was everything he could ever want in a wife.
It was getting through the next three weeks to the wedding that was consuming most of his thoughts. If that woman got so much as a hint that he was going to be married-!
His mouth tightened angrily, grey eyes bleak. She had done her best to ruin his life once before; he would not let her have the chance to do so again. He still couldn't believe the bad luck that had made her appear back in his life today, of all days. But then again, why couldn't he believe it? The woman was his nemesis.
She didn't appear for months at a time usually; once it had been almost a year. That time he had almost convinced himself that he wouldn't see her again. Then she had appeared at his office, much as she had today, almost as if no time had passed at all since he had last seen her.
She always wanted the same thing. Money. And like a fool, because of some deeply buried memories of having once loved her, he always gave her what she came for.
He knew, now that Andie was to be his wife, one day he would have to tell her about the other woman, of what she had once been to him. But he wanted Andie already safely established as his wife before he did that.
Coward, an inner voice taunted him.
Yes, he was a coward. But if being a coward now meant he kept Andie in the future, then he would choose being a coward every time!
He sat forward in his seat, attempting a smile that he knew didn't quite come off. But how could it? He had been churned up with conflicting emotions ever since he'd returned to his office this afternoon and found that wretched woman there. Half of him was looking forward to having Andie as his wife, and to being her husband, and the other half of him was terrified, after this afternoon, that the wedding would never take place!
'I'll make sure I'm back in time for our appointment with Jonas on Monday afternoon,' he promised.
Andie swallowed hard, her expression bland-deliberately so, it seemed to Adam. 'Of course you must go. I understand completely. After all, it's your work.' She smiled.
But her eyes didn't. Those beautiful sparkling green eyes were completely emotionless.
Adam just wanted to sweep her up into his arms, tell her everything, plead for her patience and understanding over a situation that had caused him much heartache over the years. But he knew he couldn't do that, that he had kept his own counsel for too long. He had only ever spoken to one person about Glenda, and he had known Barbara well enough to trust that she had taken his secret to the grave with her.
How he wished Barbara were here now!
'I really am rather tired now, Adam.' Andie spoke quietly, her gaze not quite meeting his. 'And I'm sure you must have things to do if you intend flying to Germany tomorrow,' she added pointedly.
He could feel the distance between them, a distance that seemed to be widening, not lessening. He didn't know what to do or say to stop it happening … !
'What will you do while I'm away?' he questioned, knowing by the way her eyes widened indignantly that he had once again said the wrong thing.
'I believe I managed to keep myself occupied before you came into my life, Adam,' she replied scornfully. 'And that I will continue to do so,' she continued, green gaze flashing a warning.
He winced. 'I didn't mean-I was just taking an interest-I-'
He had sounded patronising! When, in reality, he was desperately trying to find some common ground between them before he took his departure. He didn't want to go away for three or four days feeling that things weren't right between them.
Andie stood up, moving to lightly stroke his arm. 'It's all right, Adam,' she told him. 'I do understand. This is going to take time to get used to. For both of us.'
His expression softened as he looked up at her. She really was so very much like Barbara. Perhaps if he just explained everything to Andie-
No!
It was a risk he dared not take. Not until after they were married, anyway. When he would have no choice.
He stood up, aware of Andie's move away from him as he did so, his smile slightly tinged with bitterness. If Andie didn't love him now, shied away from being close to him, how much more difficult was this going to be once they were married?
'I'll call you from Germany,' he said as the two of them walked to the door.
'You will?' Andie sounded doubtful.
'Of course I will.' He turned and grasped her arms, bending slightly so that he could look into the magnolia beauty of her face. 'I'll need to know that my fiancée is well,' he teased.
'Your pregnant fiancée,' Andie amended.
Implying that was the only reason he would be telephoning, to make sure that their baby, rather than Andie herself, was still well!
Adam wanted to assure her that it was her he cared about, her health and welfare that concerned him. But he knew she wouldn't believe him even if he tried to tell her that. Because without the existence of that baby, Andie would never have agreed to marry him …
The next three weeks, until he could make Andie his wife, stretched out before him like a minefield. And each step he took could be the one that made his future with Andie blow up in his face … !
CHAPTER NINE
'THIS is what you've always wanted, isn't it?' Harrie asked indulgently as Andie paraded in front of her in yet another wedding dress.
Andie pulled a face. 'To find a wedding dress that hides the fact I'll be almost four months pregnant when I walk down the aisle on Rome's arm as the blushing bride?'
'Good try, Andie,' her sister replied. 'But you know very well that isn't what I'm referring to.'
Of course she knew. But had she really been that transparent in her feelings towards Adam? She had thought, over the years, that she had hidden them rather well. But not, it seemed, from her eldest sister, who knew her so well …
Harrie had telephoned her yesterday and suggested the two of them went shopping today to look for a wedding dress, and, feeling Adam's absence in Germany as deeply as she was, Andie had been only too happy for the suggested diversion from her own troubled thoughts.