To Make a Marriage(13)

She stiffened even more in the grip of his hands, her face first flushing and then becoming translucently pale.

Almost as if he had physically struck her with his suggestion … !





CHAPTER FIVE




MARRIAGE …

How ironic.

How amazingly, incredibly, unbelievably ironic. Marriage was a word  Andie had never associated with Adam, and certainly had never matched  with her own name.

And it wasn't now. Adam didn't want to marry her, he didn't want to marry anyone. He just felt that he had to … !

'Why are you smiling?' Adam broke harshly into the silence.

Smiling? Was she?

Probably, Andie conceded. What else was there to do in the face of such  irony? She loved this man, carried their baby inside her, and he had  offered to marry her only because of that baby.

She had known this would happen, of course, had known from the minute he  became aware of her pregnancy that Adam would feel compelled to make  such an offer.

What alternative did he have? Her father was far from stupid, and, even  if neither of them ever revealed to him that it was Adam's baby, their  strained manner towards each other, over the months-years?-ahead, would  eventually become obvious to Rome. Especially to Rome … ! Besides, the  baby-son or daughter?-could just look so much like Adam when it was born  that there would be no doubt that he was the father.

She looked up at him. 'Poor Adam,' she murmured ruefully.

'Poor-!' His hands tightened on her arms. 'What do you mean by that?' he demanded suspiciously.

She gave a humourless smile. 'A wife would be bad enough, but a child as well! However would you survive, Adam?' she taunted.

'The same way every other father does, I suppose,' he replied. 'With  little sleep and a lot of heartache.' He bit out harshly at her  questioning look.

That was exactly the way her father had described his own daughters'  childhood! Somehow Andie had never thought of Adam in that light …

'You forgot the warmth and laughter,' she told him huskily.

His mouth twitched. 'According to Rome that comes later-once the  sleepless nights have stopped! He assures me he walked around in a daze  for five years while the three of you were babies!'

Andie gave him a sharp look. 'You haven't talked to my father about-'

'I very much doubt I would be here to tell the tale if Rome knew it was  my child!' Adam cut in drily. 'I went to see Rome once I left your  office-I needed to know where you had gone-and he assured me he's going  to strangle the man if he ever finds out who fathered your baby.  Apparently you have been less than helpful on that score … ?'                       
       
           



       

'I have no wish to see you dead-or my father in prison for murdering you!'

Adam's laugh lacked any real humour. 'That could still happen,' he  admitted. 'Although I understand your lack of enthusiasm for the  latter,' he added grimly.

But not for the former, his words implied. However, despite what he  might think to the contrary, she had no wish to see anything happen to  Adam. She loved him, for goodness' sake! She just knew it was an emotion  he would never reciprocate.

But that didn't mean he couldn't, wouldn't, love their baby. In fact,  she was sure that he would. Adam had no family of his own, at least,  none that he had ever spoken of, and this baby was his own flesh and  blood. His only flesh and blood.

Andie just wasn't sure she could live with him, knowing he loved their  child but could never feel anything but affection for her! She wasn't  sure-but it was something she had known was going to be offered from the  moment when she had decided, a month ago, that she wanted this baby,  after all, already loved it with a fierce protectiveness that would  allow no harm to come to it. Ever.

But did that include avoiding the emotional trauma that a legal battle  with Adam, over his own rights where his child was concerned, would  incur … ? Did it include standing united with Adam in an effort not to  alienate the baby's grandfather from the man who had been his best  friend for the last twenty years? Did it include marrying Adam to avoid  all that?

She still didn't have the answer to that!

She spoke again, sounding resigned. 'You don't want to marry me, Adam-'

'I don't think what I want-or, indeed, what you want, either!-is of  particular importance at this moment,' he shot back, releasing her  abruptly to walk determinedly to the other end of the terrace.

Andie swallowed hard, his words having put a chill into her heart. 'It isn't … ?'

'No,' he told her firmly, a nerve pulsing in the tightness of his jaw. 'We have to think of the baby-'

'And you think I haven't been?' she cut in angrily, a flush to her  cheeks now. 'How dare you?' she accused resentfully. 'Why else would I  have given up a job that I love doing, if it weren't because it's safer  for the baby if I don't work? Why else would I-?'

'Andie, I wasn't implying-'

'Yes, you were, damn you!' There was something to be said for the  emotion of anger. It precluded any others-such as love!-from surfacing.  'And you have no right! You-'

'Andie, I didn't come here to fight with you,' Adam interrupted, eyes glittering silver as he glared across the terrace at her.

'Then why did you come?' Her head went back challengingly.

He gave a heavy sigh. 'I've already told you-I came here to ask you, to  plead with you if necessary,' he added hardly, 'to consider marrying  me.'

How it pained him to have to say it! What sort of marriage would it be,  could it be, when it wasn't what either of them really wanted?

Her chin rose proudly. 'I've considered it, Adam, and-'

'Consider it again!' he advised harshly. 'And this time think of it from  another angle but your own!' he continued scathingly, hands clenched at  his sides now-as if he might strangle her if he didn't … ?

She had been considering every angle since the moment she had decided, a  month ago, that she loved this baby above everything else; her child's  wants and needs were of paramount importance to her now. But she wasn't  sure that having parents who didn't love each other was the best thing  for her baby …

She gave Adam a narrow-eyed look. 'How can you be absolutely positive this baby is yours, Adam?'

His mouth twisted mockingly. 'I'm sure, Andie.'

'I don't see how-'

'I doubt that experience with me was enough to send you out on a life of  bed-hopping conquests,' Adam declared. 'And if it wasn't-! You were a  virgin that night, Andie,' he stated flatly. 'Or did you think my life  was so debauched I wouldn't recognise a virgin if I met one?'

Andie swallowed hard, turning away, heated colour in her cheeks now. He hadn't said anything at the time-she had thought-

She had spent the last few years of her life living and working amongst a  casual permissiveness that simply hadn't appealed to her. Maybe that  was because she'd already been in love with Adam, and no other man would  do for her; she simply didn't know. But he was right; she had been a  virgin that night three months ago …                        
       
           



       

'You're right.' She sighed defeatedly, not wanting to continue  discussing the subject of her virginity-or lack of it now! 'It is your  child.'

'I never doubted it,' he bit out forcefully.

'What sort of marriage are you offering me, Adam?' she asked levelly,  giving no indication that what he said in the next few minutes could be  the deciding point for the rest of their lives.

He looked puzzled. 'I don't understand … ?'

'In the circumstances, Adam, surely it's a perfectly straightforward  question,' she replied, walking over to sit back down on the lounger.  'Oh, don't worry, I'm not asking for you to pretend you're in love with  me. Any more than I could pretend to be in love with you.' How could she  pretend something that was already a fact?

His puzzlement deepened. 'Then what are you asking for?' he returned.

Affection-if not love. Respect-surely she deserved that, at least?  Fidelity-the one thing she wasn't sure Adam was capable of giving her!

She gave a shaky sigh at the thought of suffering years of women, like  Elizabeth King, in the background of Adam's life. She couldn't bear  that! But, at the same time, was it really feasible to expect the two of  them to live out their lives in a loveless marriage? Oh, not that it  would be true of her, but for Adam-!

She took a deep breath. 'The thing is, Adam, I grew up in a large  family, and because of that I-I've never believed in having only  children.'

He blinked, obviously trying to assimilate her words-and failing. 'You aren't expecting twins, are you?' he gasped.

'Not that I'm aware of, no,' she assured him.

'Then-' He broke off, frowning, his gaze searching on the paleness of her face. 'I see,' he finally said slowly.

'Do you?' She held her breath now as she waited for his answer.

'I think so.' Adam nodded. 'You know, Andie … ' he strolled across the  terrace to stand beside her ' … a lot of what is said, and printed-' he  grimaced '-concerning my private life, isn't necessarily all that it  appears-'