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To Love Honour and Disobey(23)

By:Natalie Anderson


She had to close her eyes; the sensation was too overwhelming for her to cope.

But true to his word he stopped moving. And then withdrew.

'No,' she whimpered.

'Look at me, Ana,' he said softly, his hand cupping her chin.                       
       
           



       

She did. His eyes were piercing and yet tender.

'If you want me, you have to stay with me.' He pressed into her again.

She shuddered, blinked rapidly.

'Right with me,' he warned.

She licked her lips but couldn't look away. It felt too good. He was too good.

Their faces were mere inches apart, and there wasn't a millimetre  between the rest of them as their bodies fused. She stared into his  beauty, knew that he was seeing right through her. They'd never been so  intimate.

'But the most beautiful thing about your body is your eyes. No, don't close them. Let me see.'

And she let him, as slowly, silently their bodies meshed together,  parted, and then merged closer still. Her breathing hitched. So did his.

She wanted to beg him not to be so gentle. That this tenderness was too  much. But she could say nothing. For her heart was bursting-surely about  to break. But then it wasn't breaking. It was expanding-filling with  warmth from the look in his eyes. And she could resist it no longer.

He didn't speak again. The palm of his hand cradled the side of her  face, stopping her from turning away from the intensity of his gaze. But  she couldn't, even if he let her. Those ice-blue eyes of his had melted  and inside them she could read all the things she dreamed of yet dared  not. That he meant his sweet words, that he wanted her, that he cared.

But she daredn't believe. And the effort not to was pulling her apart,  until she was unable to stop the stinging sheen blurring her vision.

He kissed each tear away and his whisper roared loud in her heart. 'But even your eyes aren't as beautiful as your soul, Ana.'

And with every long, slow thrust he tore down the last of her defences.

Overwhelmed, unable to stand it any longer, she reached up for him,  captured his beautiful mouth with her own. The kiss went on and their  arms wound tighter around each other. She closed her eyes but couldn't  keep anything back. Not as she felt his body flex even stronger, the  groan reverberating in his broad chest as he began to move even more  powerfully. And all she could do was cling, let her body move, her mouth  move, touching him, pulling him closer. Urging him to finish it.

His fingers tunnelled into her hair, firmly keeping her face turned up  to his as he broke the kiss and relentlessly bored into her again.

'Please.' She wanted faster-had to have it that way or she was sure she'd die.

But he resisted, kept it slow, so slow and so deep for so long. She was  mindless with desperation, her cries sounding higher and higher. Until  with an almost inhuman scream she hit the edge and went hurtling light  years beyond her limits.

On and on the climax went-almost brutal in its intensity. Her fingers  clawed into his muscles; her body shook with the fierceness of it.

And still it wasn't over, still he moved, still unbearably slowly,  overwhelmingly intense. His face darkened, taut with the effort, his  body slick with sweat. Until he could hold back no longer, deep groans  of male pleasure racking him.

She shook, her arms and legs curled tight-clamping around him. And it  felt as if he were pouring everything she'd ever wanted into her.

She refused to open her eyes now-not wanting to break the spell that she  was under, the sublime, treasured feeling. But moment by moment reality  impinged. He'd moved just slightly, so he wasn't crushing her, and she  listened as their breathing returned to normal.

He'd just broken her heart. She knew he hadn't meant to, but he had. No  matter his old playboy habits, in his own way he was caring. He'd known  she'd felt low and he'd set about making her feel good the best way he  knew-with fabulous, sweet sex.

But that was all it was. Short-term charm. Because that was all Seb ever  did-flings. Fun affairs. And knowing more of his background now, she  even understood a bit of why he wanted only that.

She closed her eyes. The problem was that what they'd just shared hadn't been fun to her. That had been everything.

How could she have thought she could handle him again? She was such an  idiot. But she wouldn't make the same mistake twice. Wouldn't ask him  for more-demand what she knew he had no desire to deliver. Mortification  resurged-it had gone bone deep when she'd realised he hadn't married  her because he was madly in love with her; she didn't want to be so  foolish again now.

What she needed was a little defence. OK, she just needed to get out of there.

'I need to get back to Phil's. He'll be expecting me.'

'I'll call him. You're still tired.'

'I can call him.'

But it seemed Seb had already spoken with Phil at some point, because when Ana spoke to him the plans were already in place.                       
       
           



       

'I hope you don't mind, darling, but I packed up most of your stuff.  I've had a shipment of fabric in and haven't got anywhere else to store  it.'

'Of course.'

'You stay with Seb, darling. He has much more space there.'

It was a conspiracy. So much for the gay man being like a sister in solidarity, this was the boys clubbing together.

'You sound tired. You could do with some rest.'

She could hear him smiling as he spoke.

'I've had a migraine.' They'd only had sex the once; it wasn't the all-night orgy that Phil was so clearly imagining.

She pushed the 'end' button on the phone and turned to watch Seb dress  for work. 'You set that up, didn't you? With Phil already.'

He shifted so she couldn't see his face. 'I wanted you to stay.'

'Why didn't you just ask me to?'

'Because I thought you'd say no.'

Did he really not know? Had he not worked it out? She was trapped. She  didn't want to say no to him. And now, after this morning, she couldn't  say no to him-not any more.

Seb gave her a sideways glance as he did up the buttons on his shirt.  She was too quiet. And still way too pale. The sudden onset of her  migraine yesterday had frightened the hell out of him. He still wasn't  breathing right-the tightness in his chest not easing. It was as if he  was permanently on alert for some kind of catastrophe-all adrenalin and  edge. Not even being so deep inside her this morning had helped. In fact  that experience had only seemed to make his sense of urgency worse.  He'd said she was stressed about it and maybe she was. But so was he.

She had to stay with him. Despite knowing it meant their affair was  growing in complexity, there was no question about her leaving. Not  while she looked so ill. And no way was she sleeping in any bed other  than his for a while yet.

'I won't be here more than a day or two, Seb. I'll find another place.'

'Just relax, Ana. It doesn't bother me.' Only a bit. He was feeling his  way-blindly working on an instinct he hadn't yet identified. 'I'll bring  your things back at lunchtime.'

'You don't have to do that. After work is fine.'

That was too many hours away. He needed to check she was OK before then.  He walked over to the bed. Exerted formidable restraint and didn't kiss  her-knowing he'd never get to work today if he did. But he did touch-a  gentle push to make her lie back on the pillows. 'Stay in bed. You need  sleep.'

Half an hour later he looked at the files piling high on his desk and  shook his head. How many marriages had he helped end now? Must be  hundreds. And so easy it was too. A piece of paper here and sworn  affidavit there. It was the division of assets that got the game  trickier. No one wanted to give anything material up. It was all about  protecting their interests. And Seb always did his best for his clients.

Unless there were kids. And then, he'd have to admit to himself, he'd  try to do what was right for those kids. Always took stock of the  psychologists' reports if there were any. Recommended counselling-did  his best to insist on it. Because he'd been that kid-more than  once-witnessing the end of another marriage and being pulled in a  million directions. Weirdly, as his clients had become wealthier, more  famous, the money thing became even more of an issue-the lifestyle to  which they were accustomed had to be maintained. Yet there was often  more than one ex in the mix. Kids to more than one mother. The mess was  horrendous.

At least he and Ana didn't have any such worries. Dissolving their paper  marriage would be easy. They had their own assets and they'd invested  nothing in the marriage. And there were no children.

His heart seemed to stutter every time he thought of that-the child  they'd lost. So he pushed it from his mind by sheer iron will. She said  she didn't want kids. Neither did he. And that was a good thing, wasn't  it? Because it meant that maybe their affair could continue-maybe  indefinitely. OK, there was never a 'for ever', but they could be  together for as long as they both wanted. There was no fear of the  complication of children. And no real commitment. And given that he  desired her more than ever-this could only be a good thing. Even so he  should push the divorce through-he could sign those papers today and get  the process under way.