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To Love Honour and Disobey(13)

By:Natalie Anderson


'Incredible.' He groaned. 'You're so bloody incredible.'

Afterwards he grabbed her hand and pulled her all the way back onto the  bed. Breathless, she felt insane with the bliss. He walked to the table,  sliced some pineapple from the assortment of fresh fruit arranged on a  platter. He held a piece to her mouth for her to taste. The juice was  deliciously both sweet and acidic. She took the last of it into her  mouth. He started to lick the juice from his fingers, but she grabbed  his hand, and licked them for him-felt the kick inside again. She had  let go of everything now, allowing nothing in her head but the  desire-the animal need to be with him. All sensuality, no thought.

His eyes didn't leave hers as, keeping hold of his hand, she lay back on the pillows and demanded, 'Do it again.'

'With pleasure.'

'Maximum pleasure.' She closed her eyes.

Seb looked out the wide open door frame and watched her sitting  cross-legged on the sand combing her hair. As beautiful as a siren  tempting a sailor to his death. He wished he were combing her hair. He  wished she were sitting astride his lap and he were sinking deep into  her, and having that glorious hair trail across his face and those long  legs wound round him.

She was an incredible lover. Hell, yes, she was incredible. He'd never  felt so wanted, or felt such want for another in his life, had been  surprised by her hunger and her aggression. Ana was assertive? Why, yes,  she was now. If only he'd realised, he'd have come after her sooner.

Every fantasy he acted on he wanted an immediate repeat. And more ideas  filled his brain, tantalising him. So now the siren called and he was  helpless to resist. He walked out to the beach, took the comb from her  hand and did what he'd been dreaming of.                       
       
           



       

The afternoon stretched long and lazy. He got a bao game and with  Hamim's help they learned how to play it. Her competitiveness came to  the fore, especially when he proposed an adults-only kind of prize for  the winner. He was intrigued by the way her mind worked, the way she  skilfully strategised-and he wanted to know more. 'You play chess?'

'Yes.'

'Who with?'

'I used to play with Phil. And then at university-' She broke off and coloured.

'What?'

'My ex-boyfriend thought he could play.'

'You whipped him every time, huh?' Because she was good, she was smart  and there was much more to her than big blue eyes and intoxicating long  legs.

She nodded. 'He didn't like it.'

'What happened to ex-boyfriend?'

Her eyes dropped to the board. 'He found someone else. Someone shorter. Someone blonde.'

So she'd been cheated on, huh? No wonder she didn't believe him when he  said he'd been single all this time. And there was that height thing  again. 'Someone crap at chess?'

She laughed. 'I don't know. Probably.'

'That man was clearly an imbecile. When playing for this kind of reward it's not a bad thing to lose to you.'

She looked at him slyly. 'I thought you always played to win.'

'Well, you have to admit this is a win-win situation.'

She dropped some kete into one of the grooves on the board. 'What was it like winning the Robertson case?'

'You know about that?'

'It was in every national newspaper for weeks. Of course I know about it.'

The Robertson case had been ugly. The guy had let his TV talent show  instant stardom go to his head. Had ditched his young wife of three  years and their newborn babe and embraced the life of the rock star-and  the starlet he'd met at the recording studio. He'd thought his newfound  money and fame would swing it. Had appointed one of the biggest name  divorce lawyers in the city-arguing his new wealth was his and not for  sharing with his wife and child. His wife had appointed Seb. At the time  it had been the biggest case of his career and had cemented his  reputation. 'Robertson had wanted his fight in court. He'd got it.'

'And you won.'

'There were no winners, not in a case like that,' Seb still felt the  anger. 'There was a kid, Ana. A kid who when old enough will look back  at that case and see that his father didn't want him, didn't want to  know him, didn't want to spend time with him and that he was forced by  the court to pay money to help raise him. How's that going to make him  feel? And it happens all the time. Either the kids are rejected or  they're torn apart as the bargaining chip between two bitter parents.'

He always encouraged counselling, mediation, out-of-court  settlements-anything to try to make it easier because those people had  to deal with each other when they had kids. There was no end, no  finality. All it was was a mess.

'Was that what it was like for you, when your parents broke up?'

He froze. Should have known that was where she was headed. That was why  he never usually discussed his parents with women-they always wanted to  probe deeper than he liked to go. 'I was the bargaining chip, I guess.  They both fought for me, over me.'

But even though they'd both wanted him, he hadn't been enough. Not  enough to hold them together, not enough to make either of them happy.  Most of their problems had been because they hadn't been able to have  another child. He-their one child-hadn't fulfilled them.

'I guess being fought over is better than being unwanted.' He glanced up  in time to catch her quick flinch and wanted to cut out his tongue. He  reached across and touched her hand. 'Hey, I'm sorry.'

'It's OK.' But her fingers slipped from his. 'You're right.'

He'd had no idea about her past. But now he did, it just reinforced his  decision on what he planned to do with his own life. 'I'm never having  children.'

'Me, either.'

His brows lifted-didn't all women have a clucky side somewhere? 'Why not?'

She was staring at the board. 'Because I don't want anyone else going through what I went through.'

OK, so they had more in common than he'd ever thought. 'Nor do I.'

She suddenly broke into a big smile. 'Time to pay up, big-shot. I just won.'

The longer they spent playing in the shade, the more outrageous the  prizes for winning became-playful, teasing, and at one point, at her  instigation, downright kinky. Seb's sense of reality receded. It was  like that mad week again-where all that mattered was touching her, being  close to her. He simply couldn't get enough.                       
       
           



       

Ana was brushing her hair when she heard Seb swear. She turned, surprised at the vehemence. 'What's wrong?'

'We're out of condoms.' He growled, a bitter, frustrated sound. 'Hell,  the last time we had a holiday fling we got married. This time it'd be  just the thing if I knocked you up.'

Her mind blanked. She heard a clatter and blindly reached out; her hand  struck the wall. But the pain didn't bring the world back.

'Ana?' He was beside her, his hands on her waist steadying her. 'Are you OK? What happened?'

She opened her mouth to say 'nothing'. But he was so close, watching so  closely. She saw as his thoughts tracked back over what he'd said, and  down that horrible thorny path. She swayed again, suddenly remembering.  It happened sometimes-with something so simple, a word, an image  perhaps, just something that triggered the avalanche of hurt. It swamped  her. So fresh, so raw, it could have been yesterday.

'Ana?' His eyes narrowed. 'What's going on?' He inhaled sharply. 'No.' He shook his head slowly. 'No.'

She stared, unable to move as she watched him work it out.

'Oh, my God. I did knock you up.' He gaped. 'Is that where you've been  this last year-having my baby? Where the hell is it? What have you  done?'

'Nothing!' She snapped. 'I've done nothing. You're wrong.' She backed  away from him right up against the wall. 'You're so far wrong.'

'No, I'm not.' He followed, trapping her with his big body. 'Don't even think about lying to me. Were you pregnant?'

She closed her eyes. 'Yes.'

'Then where-?' He broke off. Took a breath and spoke with furious  deliberation. 'You said you don't want kids. Did you … did you get rid of  my baby?'

'Of course I didn't!' she yelled in his face. 'It's because of what  happened that I don't want kids. I'm not going through that again. I'm  not losing another child again.'

'What happened?' Horrified, he asked, 'Damn it, tell me what happened.'

'I had a miscarriage.' She felt sick as the pain seared into her. She  hadn't spoken of it in months but all of a sudden it was present-right  in the room-the agony.

'My baby.' His lips barely moved.

'Yes.'

'Miscarried.' He looked down. There was a long silence.

She put her fingers to her forehead. Waiting, knowing the questions were  coming and unable to bear having to answer them. She'd never wanted to  have to answer them.

'Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?'

She closed her eyes-just for a moment. 'I didn't want to.'

She heard his sharp inhalation and spoke quickly, preventing his  interruption. 'I was hurt.' He'd shattered her illusions so ruthlessly  that day when he'd come home more over the moon about his promotion than  he'd ever been about marrying her. They'd rowed and she'd run. A couple  of weeks later when she'd found out she was pregnant she had still been  so hurt that there had been no way she was ever going to tell him. But a  couple of weeks after that, reality had started to sink in. 'I knew I  was going to have to talk to you. I was just … '