“Of course I will not hurt him. I’m not the monster you seem to think.” He remembered how he’d been tempted to kill the man just hours before, and shook his head with a hard laugh. “Well. I have no reason to hurt him now. Our marriage is over. We are free.”
“Free …” she whispered.#p#分页标题#e#
McLinn’s harsh words from long ago went through Eduardo’s mind. You can’t keep me from her. We both know you’re not good enough for her. You’ll never make her happy. And he realized that he’d always agreed. But he’d tried to keep Callie just the same. Selfish and wrong, when he knew he’d never be able to love her the way she deserved. Christ—he couldn’t even sleep in the same bed.
“Yes. You’re free.” Eduardo turned away, making his voice deliberately casual as he said, “Marisol fell asleep in her playpen, in your parents’ room. Do you want to see her?”
Callie did not answer. She just looked at him, her green eyes dark as a midnight sea. Her beautiful, grief-stricken face was more than Eduardo could bear. It had to end, he thought heavily. So let it end. Merciful and quick.
Taking his wife’s limp hand, he pulled her out of their bedroom and through the deepening shadows of the courtyard. Midway through the garden, she stopped. He looked back at her in the twilight, surrounded by the shadows of palm trees and the soft cool burble of the fountain. Crystalline tears sparkled down her pale cheeks, glimmering in the fading moonlight.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her eyes luminous. “So sorry.”
Exhaling, Eduardo slowly pulled her into his arms. She pressed her face against his heart, which felt like it was breaking beneath his ribs.
Her voice was sodden, muffled against his shirt. “I didn’t want it to end this way …”
His arms trembled around her. He thought of all his mistakes, everything he’d done wrong from the beginning, all the things he would have changed if he could. But the truth was he didn’t know how. He couldn’t trust anyone—especially not someone he loved. Because deep in his heart, he didn’t believe in happy endings, only bad ones. Ones that felt like this.
“It was never your fault,” he said, stroking her hair. “Just mine. All mine.”
Hearing Callie sob, his throat constricted, and he wanted to cut out his ears, his eyes, rather than be faced with the pain he’d caused her. Desperately he pushed his feelings away, just as he’d done his whole life. Lifting her chin, he gave her a crooked smile. “Our marriage wasn’t all bad, was it?”
“No,” she whispered, searching his gaze in the shadows. “Most of it was wonderful.”
“We gave our daughter a name. We will still give her a good home.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “But two homes. Apart.”
He gave her a single unsteady nod then looked away, afraid of what she would see in his eyes. Afraid to speak and have her hear weakness in his voice. For long moments, he held her in the deepening shadows of the courtyard, listening to the water of the cool fountain as they stood in silence. Above them, palm trees waved against the deepening violet night.
Eduardo closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of her hair. Feeling the sweet softness of her body against his, knowing he was holding her for the last time.
It was best for her to leave. It was the only way to spare them both unnecessary pain. But the thought of it felt like death.
“It’s all right,” he said, gently brushing the tears from her cheeks, though he knew it would never be all right again. “You’ll go home. You’ll be happy there, just like you were.”
“Yes, I will.” She wept.
He heard the hoarseness of her voice, and knew what the words cost her. Emotion rushed through him, and before he could stop himself, he cupped her face in both his hands. “But before you leave, there’s one thing you have to know. One important thing I’ve never said.” He looked down at her. “I love you.”#p#分页标题#e#
Callie sucked in her breath, her eyes wide.
“I love you as I’ve never loved anyone.” He looked down at the flowers at his feet. “But I can’t love you without hurting you. Without hurting both of us. Without being a man I don’t want to be.” Looking at her stricken face, he whispered over the razor blade in his throat, “That’s why I’m letting you go.”
In the shadows of the garden, Callie’s eyes were deep emerald, like an ancient forest older than time itself. Her beauty was like an ache in his heart. Unwillingly he lifted his hand to her cheek, touching the softness of her skin as he looked into her eyes, connecting them soul to soul. Beneath the violet-tinged sky swept with stars, he heard the howl of the wind, shaking the palm trees above.