Daniel’s hand stilled. Her responses were instinctive; she had no idea how she inflamed him. Any man could be excused for taking this to its natural conclusion.
But he was not any man.
‘Daniel?’
She whispered his name, her hand reaching out. He caught it and pressed a kiss into its palm, trying to control his ragged breathing.
‘We must stop now, my dear, before we do something we will regret.’ It was too dark to read her face but he sensed her confusion. He leaned down to kiss her one last time. ‘You are too, too alluring.’ He spoke lightly, not wanting to embarrass her. ‘I confess this is a delightful way to pass the time but it will not do. You are as good as promised to another man.’
He waited for her to contradict him. When she remained silent his disappointment was bitter as gall. She struggled to sit up.
‘We—we are destined to bring out the worst in each other, are we not?’ There was a catch in her voice, as if she was trying not to cry.
The worst? Is that what she thought of his love-making? He was aware of her every move as she sat beside him, re-tying her neckcloth and fastening her jacket. His senses were heightened so much that when she touched his arm he flinched.
‘Do you mind if we sit like this?’ Her tone was hesitant, anxious. ‘I am not comfortable, alone in the dark, but if it disturbs you…’
He put his hand over her fingers.
‘There is nothing to be afraid of here.’
‘You are not angry with me?’
‘Angry with you? No, never.’
‘Then you will let me sit here, beside you?’
He signalled his acquiescence by squeezing her hand.
‘It will not be long now.’ He stared up at the sky, a vast velvet curtain studded with diamonds. ‘Look, the cloud has dispersed. As soon as the moon rises we will move on.’
Daniel settled back on the ledge and beside him Kitty made herself comfortable. When her head dropped to his shoulder he did not move away. Nothing stirred. The starlight was sufficient to see a faint line where the land ended and the sky began but little else. A few feet away the horses stood quietly, Kitty’s grey mare a paler blur in the darkness.
Daniel did not sleep. His senses remained alert to the sounds of the night, the distant call of a night bird, the rustle of some animal in the bushes. A sigh escaped him. He could wish for nothing more than to be allowed to sit here for ever with this girl-woman beside him, but all too soon they would have to return to their worlds—very different worlds, for she was destined to be Lady Harworth. It was her wish, her dream, was it not? Sometimes he thought she cared for him and when she returned his kisses he was aware of the passion within her, but that was for her husband to awaken, not him. She snuggled closer and he had to grit his teeth to keep his desire for her under control, to sit perfectly still when he really wanted to pull her into his arms and cover her face with kisses.
Why did he not do just that? Why not keep her here all night? She would have given herself to him earlier this evening, so why did he not kiss her again, re-awaken her desire and make love to her? If they did not return to Kirkleigh until morning her reputation would be ruined—there could be no question of Harworth marrying her then. He gazed up at the stars but although they winked and twinkled at him they gave him no encouragement.
Daniel closed his eyes. If he took advantage of her, what future could there be for them? He would make her his wife, but would she always resent him for forcing her into marriage? With sudden, blinding clarity he knew what he wanted: he wanted Kitty to choose him and only him. But it had to be her free choice; he did not want to force the decision on her.
So he would ask her to marry him. Not now of course, when she might think he was only doing it to save her reputation, but once they were back at Kirkleigh. He would make her an offer; present himself as a suitor to rival Bertram Harworth. A silent laugh shook him. He had never made any great show of his family’s wealth but perhaps it was time to puff himself off a little. Even without the land and mills he would inherit from his father, his own fortune was comparable with Harworth’s. He would tell Kitty as much: she should choose her own future.
And his.
The decision made, Daniel was impatient to be moving. Beside him, Kitty’s regular breathing told him she was sleeping and he turned his head to press a light kiss on her tumbled curls before settling back to watch the horizon for the first signs of the rising moon.
Kitty heard Daniel’s voice calling her. As she awoke she realised her head was resting on his shoulder, the soft wool of his jacket pressing against her cheek. She was reluctant to open her eyes: it was so comfortable to be snuggled up beside Daniel, just the two of them alone together. She really did not want to think about anything else. He spoke her name again and reluctantly she sat up, yawning.
‘Oh!’ A fat, butter-yellow moon was resting on the rim of the far hills. ‘Is it time to go?’
‘Very soon. You have been asleep for some time: perhaps you would like to stretch your legs a little before we begin our long ride back?’
He stood up and held out his hand to her. She allowed him to pull her to her feet.
‘Daniel, what happened here, earlier—I was too forward, I must apologise…’
He put a finger to her lips.
‘Hush. There is no need to say anything.’
‘But I want to—’
‘Once we are back at Kirkleigh this will all be forgotten.’
She gazed up at him, trying to pierce the shadows that masked his face. Did he mean that he wanted to forget? She wanted to talk about it, to know if he too felt that irresistible tug of attraction whenever they were together. That he desired her she had no doubt, but Mr Ashley had desired her, and she knew that did not mean he really liked her. She wanted to ask him to explain himself but Daniel was already leading her across to Bianca. Silently she allowed him to throw her up into the saddle. Then, with the moon climbing in the night sky and turning the world from black to silver-blue, they set off along the road to Kirkleigh.
Kitty had never been on a horse for more than an hour before today and now her body ached, but that was nothing compared to the pain inside. When she thought of Daniel kissing her she found herself melting all over again. She could not deny that she had wanted him to kiss her. Once again she had offered herself to him and once again he had been the one to break away. She thought that he must indeed care for her to be so protective, but that was small consolation and the heavy cloud settled more firmly around her heart. He did not desire her sufficiently to declare the world well lost when she was in his arms. She glanced across at him as he rode beside her. There was no sign of fatigue in his upright figure; his face in the moonlight was unsmiling, as still and inscrutable as stone. He might have been hewn from the quarry where they had taken shelter.
‘Is anything amiss, Miss Wythenshawe?’ He looked across at her.
Kitty hesitated. Should she ask him why he had not taken advantage of her? Perhaps she had disgusted him. Her godmother had talked with contempt of the forward behaviour of some of the young ladies in Town, and had not Mama told her that on no account was she to allow a gentleman to go any further than kissing the tips of her fingers? She had allowed Daniel to do a lot more than that!
‘I am very tired,’ she managed at last. ‘I have never ridden so far before.’
‘And you have done very well. Look, there is Kirkleigh village ahead of us. Another half-hour and this nightmare will be over. You will be home.’
She nodded, too miserable to speak. So he thought of this whole episode with horror. For her, once the danger was past she had thought of it as a glorious adventure: the elation of successfully jumping the hedge, galloping headlong across the heath, kissing Daniel. Especially kissing Daniel.
I am undoubtedly a very wanton young woman, she told herself miserably. And after tonight I should not be surprised if Godmama sends me back to Mama and wishes to have nothing further to do with me!
Chapter Eleven
Her unhappy thoughts kept Kitty occupied until at last they clattered into the stableyard at Kirkleigh. She was surprised to see so many torches burning. Selby came running out to meet them.
‘Right glad I am to see you, Mr Blackwood, and you, miss! When t’others returned and said what had happened I was that put out. His lordship was all for setting out immediately but Lord Leaconham said as how you had gone after her, sir, so we decided we should wait ’til morning before getting up a search party. I should never have saddled up Bianca for you, miss, whatever the young mistress said. If that mare runs away with you then there’s no stopping her. I was that afraid you had been thrown.’
‘No, I am quite safe,’ she said as he helped her to alight. ‘Bianca carried me very well.’
‘Miss Wythenshawe even took a hedge in her stride,’ added Daniel, coming to collect her. ‘You are a good teacher, Selby.’
‘I allus said miss had the makings of a clipping rider,’ responded the groom, grinning widely. ‘Off you go indoors, now. You’ll find her ladyship and all the others waiting up for you.’
‘I wish I could just creep away to my room,’ admitted Kitty as she accompanied Daniel into the house.
‘Everyone will want to assure themselves that you are unharmed.’ They stopped to allow the lackey to run ahead and open the door to the drawing room. ‘Come, you have been very brave until now.’ Daniel turned to her, encouragement glinting in his eyes. ‘After you, Miss Wythenshawe.’