To Be Honest(17)
the bedroom in a bit of a mess (I guess)
the bathroom and, with a door slam
the house.
I wallow for a while, taking in the bathroom shelf: tubes of decadence; skincare brands I’ve never seen outside department stores or Josh’s mum’s bedroom and it dawns on me that now they’re mine. I must be in shock still I reckon ‘cos it’s very simple the thing I do next: I get out of the bath and start opening them.
Wrapped in my towel, I clear a steam-space in the mirror, which by the way has lights round it like Marilyn Monroe. First thing is my eyes. They’re dark, deep hazlenut like Miss Mint’s bag and the skin around them’s clear and smooth, not baggy like I’m used to. It’s probably ‘cos there’s a cream to put on, just for eyes, at midnight, it says. How does that work?
Smearing a large blob of pale mint gunk over my cheekbones which I know cost a bomb feels ridiculously amazing. I know about pore size: my craters are now nearly invisible. When I’ve prodded and poked and held a mirror to the side to see my tiny nose in profile I’m pretty convinced Miss Mint’s the most stunning woman to walk the face of this earth.
Only weird thing is my teeth, which feel soft like chalk in my mouth and when I bite down, it hurts. I’m good with teeth. Even before I whitened, Mum brought home so many pastes I could brush in my sleep. I’m pretty sure Miss Mint would look after hers like she does her nails, so I figure a trip to the dentist’s not far off.
The phone rings in the bag downstairs.
I freeze like a fox, then laugh ‘cos there’s no one here and I’ll sound like Miss Mint if I answer. So I fly down the stairs and I do.
“Lisi?” It’s her. “Thank goodness. Has Taff gone?”
“Yes,” I say, feeling all grown up. “He said he wanted to see ... me, ran me a bath; left some food.”
She’s quiet but I hear her breathe, quick; pattery.
“Are you ... ok?”
I know she wants to know if anything happened but I’m so tired all I can think of is eating and bed.
“I’m ok. How’s Mum and Josh?”
“Your mother’s upstairs on the computer; Josh’s watching a cookery programme. I’m outside. I needed air.” She sounds wobbly. “Lisi, tomorrow, if we wake up and find ...”
I can’t say it either. “I know.”
“... you’ll have to call in sick. There’s no way in the world you can teach. It’s so dishonest.”
Do you know, I hadn’t even thought of that.
“It’s ok,” I say, again like I’m the grown up. “We need to meet. I’ll be fine. It’s not like I don’t know everyone’s name or anything.” And I laugh and it comes out weightless, like a stream of light, so I believe it.
I think she does too.
“OK.” She’s quiet again. “Get a taxi. There’s cash in my purse.”
When she’s gone, I eat.
There’s such nice food in Miss Mint’s fridge I don’t know where to start. I can’t get the oven to work; it’s too much hassle and I don’t want cold pizza so I settle on making a big, crusty bread sandwich with thick ham and a big pickle all cut up and some cheese for good luck. Then I pour a glass of water ‘cos I’ve got good skin now and I don’t want to jinx it and I eat it all.
Then I curl up on the bed that smells of my teacher and I cry a little bit ‘cos who can I talk to about this and I miss all my friends and I can’t wait for morning and I know I won’t sleep.
But I do.
* * *
That night I dream of Josh.
He’s in the middle of Trafalgar Square, with his hair all matted ‘cos pigeons keep dive-bombing him. He’s waving, swiping them off like he’s cool but I can read him; he’s not. Frankee’s close by and her hair’s pigeon’s wings: all feathery too and she’s giggling that hysterical way she does.
Then he gets cross and starts grabbing the pigeons by their legs and pushing them under the water in the fountain. He’s drowning fistfuls; great grey wads of fluff go in and come up bedraggled like seaweed and he’s throwing them at Frankee, into her hair.
Felix comes out of nowhere with Kai and they start a basketball match, using the pigeons, picking them off Frankee’s head and slam-dunking them back in the fountain ‘til they’re all gone. Then they huddle together and all three of them walk like grinning robots towards Josh; pick him up, then bounce him, once, on the hard grey slabs and into the water.
He doesn’t come out.
* * *
And when I wake up I’m almost relieved to be still in Miss Mint’s bed and her body if it means I can help my best friend.