He leaned in close. His breath caressed along her neck. Closing her eyes, she tried to stop the feelings running through her body. He was the only man who’d sparked any emotion inside her.
She wasn’t a virgin, but even the men she dated hadn’t made her want them as much as Chris did.
Stop this. He’ll never be yours.
“Don’t go,” he said.
“You don’t need me.”
“I do need you. She was just a distraction. You know what today is.”
Closing her eyes, she felt herself beginning to cave to him.
“Please, Rachel, don’t go.” His hand rested on her hip as his head seemed to start to nuzzle her neck, and he stopped.
She frowned, turning toward him. One of his hands still rested against the door.
“Tonight, I’ll stay tonight so we can visit their graves, and then I’m gone.” She lived in a small apartment near the restaurant where she worked. In the bad economy, not a lot of jobs were available, and she had yet to finish her degree in business. This was her third job in three months.
“You don’t have to leave.”
“I do have to leave. I can’t keep doing this, Chris. You’re going to move on soon, and then I’ll be alone anyway. I can’t stick around constantly watching you mess around with women.”
She brushed past him, missing his touch the moment he let her go. Would she ever stop feeling so connected by him?
****
Chris watched her go behind the counter. She started to arrange saucepans on the stove. He stood watching her. In the first few months when he moved in Rachel had lived with him in the spare room. Thinking back to that time, he recalled bringing a woman home, and within days Rachel was moving out. He’d not given it much thought at the time, but he must have been the cause for her leaving.
Running fingers through his hair, he took a seat at the counter. That one woman had turned into two, until he’d finally fucked his way through the hospital. It was much easier relieving the stress through sex than thinking about everything he lost. He didn’t even keep a photo of his girls. No, his only reminder was Rachel, but he couldn’t let her go either. Every time he tried to leave her alone, he found himself going back to her, wanting her. The women meant nothing to him. The times in his life he enjoyed were the moments Rachel was part of it.
“How’s the restaurant?” he asked.
“Still going strong. At least I’ve not lost this job, and it’s keeping me in rent and food.” She shrugged her shoulders, stirring something as she did.
“You don’t need to be living like that. You can stay here, and I’ll be happy for you to be here.”
“No, I’m not staying here. I’d soon cramp your style when you brought more women here to screw.”
Chris couldn’t say anything. If she was here then he’d stop fucking other women. They meant nothing to him at all.
“I want you back,” he said, meaning it.
She stopped to look at him.
He stared back seeing her, really seeing her. Rachel didn’t have the first clue as to why he’d brought that woman back when he did. She’d been driving him crazy with her presence. Rachel didn’t have the first clue how sexy she was, and when he’d first noticed, it had scared the hell out of him. She was Rachel, Claire’s little sister, the complete opposite of his wife. Where Claire was slender and blonde, Rachel was curvy and a brunette. Staring at her now, Chris admired all of her full curves covered in tight jeans and a long shirt.
On closer inspection he saw it was one of the shirts he’d given her when she spilled something on her shirt, which he still owned. Great, he was turning into a crazy person, keeping her clothing and occasionally sniffing it when he needed to be comforted.
So many times he’d been tempted to tear her clothing from her body and have his way with her. Instead, he focused on talking about something else.
His thoughts were drawing a blank. This lust he felt for her shouldn’t be happening. He’d taken care of her for so long that she shouldn’t be more to him than a sister.
She’s never felt like a sister.
This attraction terrified him. She shouldn’t be getting past his defenses and making him want her.
“What are you cooking?” he asked, trying to distract his thoughts. Her cooking had improved in the last three years, and he looked forward to whatever she cooked for him.
“Pasta and sauce.”
“Look at me,” he said.
Her gaze fell on his. Tears filled her eyes as she stared at him. “What, Chris? What do you want me to say?”
Biting his lip, he stopped himself from saying something he’d regret. “I never meant to hurt you.”