Danielle seemed relieved.
Closing his eyes, he tucked his animal back inside of him and slipped into his human skin again. She felt so good in his arms as she tucked her elbows in and snuggled against the now smooth skin of his chest. He kissed down her neck, tiny rewards for her being so understanding.
“You let me in,” she said, pulling back and cupping his face. “You finally let me in on the big secret.”
“I trust you.” Denison’s voice was raw, but that came from the pain of Changing back so quickly. “You didn’t run.”
“I told you I wouldn’t. I don’t care that you have a bear inside of you! I still love you, Denny. Maybe more now because you finally shared that part of yourself with me.”
“Damn, Badger.” He leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, absorbing how good it felt to be with his mate and not hiding the biggest part of him anymore. She knew now, and she was still here. “I love you, too. More than anything. I was so scared I was going to lose you again.”
“No, silly bear. You’re stuck with me.” She grinned. “Don’t you know I love animals?”
He huffed a laugh and tucked a strand of damp hair behind her ear. “This isn’t all of it, though.”
“Tell me. Tell me everything and be done with it. No more hiding.”
“This isn’t a safe life.” He gripped her waist to try to steady himself. Every time he thought about his past, his body wanted to seize and reject the memories. “If you choose to stay with me, you’ll always be in danger. We don’t live in a trailer park in the woods because it’s our first choice, Danielle. It’s safest for us here. We are freer to shift without being found out, but there are people who know about us. If you stay, you’ll always have to be careful of everything you say to people outside of the crew. You’ll always be looking over your shoulder.”
Her dark eyebrows drew up with concern. “Who else knows?”
God, he wished he could swallow this down and never talk about it. He’d never admitted this to anyone but Tagan. But he was dedicated to doing things right this time around with Danielle. He couldn’t keep secrets and expect her to stick around for half-truths. He inhaled a deep, steadying breath. “When Brighton and I were sixteen, my parents left us alone for the first time to have a date night. I know that sounds extreme, but my family wasn’t part of a crew. We were out there in the middle of the human population, trying our best to blend in, and my parents were protective. My sister had already moved out and joined up with a crew in Denver, but Brighton and I were still too young. We wanted Mom and Dad to trust us to be home alone again, so we weren’t about to have a raging party or anything. Just some pizza for dinner, and we had a pool table, so I was planning on kicking his ass at that. But half an hour after Mom and Dad left, these men came for us. Black ops type, dressed in helmets and bullet proof vests… Shit.” He scrubbed his hands over his face, not entirely sure he could do this without breaking down. Denison stood and kissed the top of her head, then moved toward the pile of clothes and began redressing to give him something to focus on other than telling this damned story.
“I don’t remember much. Only flashes. White rooms. A man with black hair in a white lab coat and a surgical mask. A long hallway.” He fastened the snap on his jeans and dragged his burning eyes to Danielle’s. “Screaming. Mine and Brighton’s.”
“Oh, my gosh,” Danielle murmured. She looked like she was going to be sick.
“I think we were sedated so we wouldn’t Change, or maybe they did something to my head to erase what I’d seen, I don’t know, but I have this nightmare. I get it over and over. I think maybe it’s a memory. I’m walking down this hall, and I feel drunk, like my feet aren’t really touching the floor. But I look in this window and Brighton is laid out on a table, strapped down while these two doctors are cutting into him. There was blood everywhere. Only, my brother isn’t sedated. He’s looking back at me, eyes wide like he can feel every cut they are making on him. And I’m burning, like I’m on fire, and my bear rips out of me. And I rip through these chains on my wrists and ankles and shred the two people who were walking me down the hall. And then I wake up. Every time.”
“Is that what happened to Brighton’s voice?”
Horror had transformed her face. Horror and devastation, and he could tell she was cut to her middle with his admission because she was wearing the same haunted look he’d seen in the mirror for the last nine years. He pulled his shirt on and avoided eye contact. Any emotional upheaval from her now, and he was done for. His throat would clog, his voice would shake, and his animal wouldn’t allow such weak behavior. He’d Change again to avoid the pain.