“You’re probably right. I was such a boring human being.” My voice had become quiet, almost mouse-like as sleep started to overcome me.
“In you go, princess,” Sophia said as she pulled back the covers.
I didn’t bother to get undressed. I just wanted to sleep. I wanted tonight to be over and deal with everything tomorrow. Grabbing an extra pillow, I turned on my side, tucking it into my body. I’d grown used to snuggling against City. I needed something to fill the void and the pillow was my only option.
The lights turned off before I heard the click of the door as I drifted off into a restful sleep. All thoughts and worries disappeared as I dreamed about my City. His deep voice, ice blue eyes, and the feel of his arms wrapped around me. I could feel the love he had for me even in my dreams. He invaded every part of my life, became ingrained in my entire being.
I loved him even subconsciously.
Chapter 8 ~ Groveling Doesn’t Make Me Weak
I rolled over, feeling for my phone, but didn’t find it where I left it. Somehow, during the night I had pushed it under Suzy’s pillow. I tossed and turned, waking up feeling like I never slept a fucking wink. There were no new messages or calls on my phone and no word from Suzy or any of the girls.
Bits and pieces started coming back to me as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. I fucked up and I managed to do it royally. I left Suzy behind without so much as an “I love you”, just an accusation and shitty words. I had to fix it. I fucked up and I had to man up and say I’m sorry.
I grabbed my head, the throbbing almost blinding as I climbed out of bed. The quiet from the night before that felt deafening now became overwhelming. I couldn’t sit around the house today and idly wait for Suzy to come home so that I could ask for her forgiveness. I had to go to her, find her, and mend the shattered pieces I made of our relationship.
Leaning over the sink, I stared at myself in the mirror and was disgusted by the person looking back. I was better than this. The man that acted out last night wasn’t me. He was a jealous asshole and I’m a lovesick fool. I quickly showered and brushed my teeth before throwing on my jeans and t-shirt. I didn’t give a fuck what I looked like; I just had to get to Suzy.
I barreled down the highway, making my way to the hotel. Izzy hadn’t replied to a text I sent her before I left. I kept the phone in my pocket on vibrate but it remained still. I weaved in and out of traffic, needing to not waste another minute away from Suzy.
The closer I came to the hotel the more butterflies filled my stomach. What if she didn’t forgive me? I know I hurt her and I prayed that our love for each other could overcome the words of the previous night. As I shut off the bike, sitting in the parking lot of the Shepard’s Hotel, I texted the only person that may be awake at this hour – Sophia. It was only eight AM, but I was banking on her above anyone else.
Me: Sophia, it’s City. I’m at the hotel and need to see Suzy.
I walked toward the door, waiting for a reply, with the phone gripped tightly in my hand. A lump formed in my throat, worry hanging in the air so thick I could almost taste it.
Sophia: Room 1215. She’s still passed out but I’ll let you in. You have a lot of sucking up to do.
Sophia wasn’t a bullshitter and she was Suzy’s best friend. I knew no truer words were ever spoken.
Me: I plan to do a lot of sucking up. I’ll do anything.
Sophia: Anything?
Me: Just open the damn door, woman.
Sophia: You better make it good. I’m waiting.
The elevator ride seemed to take forever, stopping on every other floor to let off guests. Everyone had been downstairs enjoying the complimentary breakfast. When the bell chimed and the twelfth floor illuminated, I thought my heart literally stopped in my chest.
Fisting my hands at my sides, I squeezed them, trying to release some tension. I lightly knocked, waiting for Sophia to answer, and swallowed hard. My mouth felt dry, my stomach ready to expel the last ounce of alcohol, and my heart was ready to burst from the rapid pounding in my chest.
“Quiet,” Sophia said after she opened the door. “Follow me.” She motioned and led me through the suite.
Izzy lay on the couch, passed out and oblivious to my presence. Someone else I didn’t recognize, mostly because they were face down, lay on the floor next to her. The hotel suite was a mess. Wrapping paper, boxes, clothes, and glasses were everywhere. The girls partied harder than I would’ve thought, but then again, this was Izzy’s doing and she didn’t do anything half-assed.
Sophia stopped in front of the door to a bedroom and crossed her arms over her chest. “Now listen here, mister,” she said, poking me in the chest.