“If I don’t bother with you,” he says in a biting tone, “I shouldn’t bother pursuing anything in life.” His nostrils flare, and his hand clenches on the steering wheel. “Or maybe my heart is too stubborn for the kind of woman who thinks her lover shouldn’t fight for her.”
Oh, for Christ’s sake, I didn’t mean to piss him off. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then do a better job of explaining yourself.”
Heat flushes my face. “You’re the type of man who doesn’t wait around for a woman to make decisions about your future. I’m just wondering why you’re not demanding I kick Cole to the curb. Or why you haven’t thrown me in your car, driven me back to your penthouse, and made the decision for me.”
“I refuse to force your hand on this.” His eyes, cold and hard, shift to me before returning to the road. “I’m patient, Danni. When you choose me, I want the realization clawing at your insides without coercion or doubt or the pressure of time. I want your heart to beat for me and only me, not because I command it, but because we’re meant to be.”
He wants pure, undeniable love. He deserves that and so much more.
An ache tightens my chest. “I’m afraid one day you’ll realize I wasn’t worth it.”
“I’m afraid one day you’ll ask me to leave.”
A vehement denial jumps to the tip of my tongue, but I trap it there. I can’t make promises I don’t know how to keep.
I used to think forever was the only thing I wanted. Then I met Trace, and my heart filled with tiny moments, each one worth so much more than the whole of a lifetime.
But how can I cherish every moment written with his touch while my veins continue to burn for Cole?
I don’t care if they orchestrated this arrangement. It feels like cheating, and the gravity of that is heavy enough to crush my bones. I can’t drag this out for six months. My sanity won’t survive it.
As if Trace senses my tension, he reaches over the console and rests a hand on my thigh. The heat of his palm penetrates my leggings, warming me, comforting me, until the anxiousness fades away.
“Tell me something about you.” I lace our fingers together. “A truth you never share with anyone.”
He slows the SUV at a cross street, the first one I’ve seen in the fifteen minutes we’ve been on the road. Veering right, he enters a small town, lined with run-down stores, a gas station, and lo and behold, a Walmart.
Without acknowledging my question, he motors toward the parking lot filled with a dozen or so cars. He parks toward the back of the lot, turns off the engine, and faces me.
“You know my parents died in a car accident.” He stares at our hands, where they intertwine on my lap.
“You said their deaths changed your perspective on life.”
“Yes. They were killed because of my job.”
“What?” I whisper as a chill spreads through me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I can’t change what happened.” His eyes lift to mine, stark and unblinking. “And I can’t share the details.”
“I’m so sorry, Trace.” I cup his face, stroking my fingers through his soft blond hair.
“Don’t be sorry. If it hadn’t happened, I’d still be married to that job.”
I nod, mind racing. Were
his parents killed by an enemy nation state? Or an internal threat like the woman who threatened my life? The specifics are irrelevant. It’s what happened after that makes my throat swell.
“That’s why you agreed to watch over me when Cole left.” I rest my fingers on the sharp angles of his face.
“I didn’t want the same thing to happen to you.” He caresses my cheek, my jaw, my lips, the kiss of his touch jump-starting my heart.
“Cole knows how your parents died?”
“He’s one of the very few.”
“He knew and still asked you to protect me?” I drop my arm and ball my hand on my lap. “I kind of hate him a little for that.”
“Why?” His brows pull together.
“What if I died on your watch, Trace? You already lost your parents because of that job. I’m sorry, but that was selfish of him to put you in that position.”
He makes a noise that resembles a laugh and swipes a hand over his mouth. “I should just let you continue thinking that.”
“What do you mean?” I squint at him.
“Danni, he did me a favor.” He leans back and gazes at the cars glinting in sun-soaked parking lot. “My parents’ murder wasn’t my fault, but I accepted that job knowing full well it put everyone I loved at risk. After they died, I carried the guilt for years.” He pulls in a deep breath. “Cole placed you in my charge because he knew I would do anything to prevent that from happening again. He also knew if I committed to a year of protecting you—”