Three and a Half Weeks(21)
“Excellent work, Mr. Larson. I’m impressed. I’ll look forward to receiving your report and I will certainly make use of your services in the future. Thank you.”
So then he’d had her address but what good would it do him? Should he visit her? Another two weeks elapsed before he was desperate enough to answer his own question in the affirmative and he got on his company jet and flew to Gatwick.
Once there, he vacillated between going home and dropping in on her. He waited outside her flat and the first time he caught sight of her, his lungs were robbed of all breath and his chest tightened painfully. Instinctively, he rose to his feet and followed her for a few blocks, just to see her beautiful face, watch her narrow hips sway gently as she walked, oblivious to her own charms. He missed her so much: how had she managed to do what no other woman had done before her?
In the past, every time one of his subs had begun to develop any strong feelings for him, he’d quickly and coldly terminate the relationship, always softening the blow with expensive parting gifts. Sometimes it was harder than others but it never felt impossible. With Ella, it did feel impossible yet he wasn’t the one at the wheel—she was, damn it—and perhaps that burned his ass most of all. Losing control, and to a little slip of a girl? And she’d decided to lose him. He was going to have to accept it, bitter though it might taste. He flew home less than a week later, never having made his presence known to her, and resolved on putting the young woman behind him for good. His resolve lasted at least as long as the flight home.
Almost immediately upon returning to Portland, he began to inch inexorably toward swallowing the truth, consuming it in very small portions, for the whole taken in one sitting might choke him: he accepted the fact that despite knowing Ella for such a brief time span—what was it? Five, maybe six nights spent together, all told?—he had developed feelings for her. It infuriated him because he’d worked so hard to keep himself detached from romantic entanglements only to get ensnared while he wasn’t paying attention. The pain of losing her was real, constricting his chest to the point where he thought he might be having a heart attack and actually went to the doctor for a check-up.
After, he began to slowly come to terms with the idea that he might possibly love her. Once he was comfortable wearing that on his sleeve, he began to let seep in the crazy notion that he might just be in love with her. That was the most difficult of all. How could it be true? What was so different about this girl that caused him to fall so hard and fast for her? All these years he’d been with women—happily—and yet was easily able to walk away at any time. Why now? Why her? Was it her innocence? Her witty repartee? Was it that she continually stood up to him despite how he intimidated her? Or was it merely her ethereal beauty, the kind that left his mouth dry and his eyes locked on her? Most likely it was the amalgamation of all of these things. The real question now was how was he to get her back?
The answer seemed to be as simple as it was awful: he wasn’t. Someone had finally said no to Ian Blackmon and that was essentially that.
As the months went by, he became used to the separation, perhaps as one gets used to a missing limb, but he never could get over wanting her. Even more disturbing to him was his complete lack of interest in any other women. For the first time in his life, he experienced a protracted period of sexual dormancy… and he didn’t like it. Not since he’d begun to be sexually active at fifteen had he gone even a month without sex and now many months had gone by. In the beginning, right after Ella left, he’d gone to the club and tried topping one of the regular submissives but ended up retreating before they could become intimate. It felt too much like cheating.
By the end of the year he’d embraced his new way of life: he directed his energy and efforts into exercise and work. His net worth had nearly doubled and he was in the best fighting shape of his life. He was battle ready.
Still, the problem was thorny—even if he could get her back long enough to have a chance, he just didn’t see a clear path to get her past their fleeting history together. And now that so much time hung between them, it only made matters more difficult. Sailing his catamaran west of Tillamook, he spent long hours mulling the situation and ultimately realized he would have to force her to listen, to give him a chance. The question remained how? The elusive answer came to him one afternoon when Zoe pulled out an iPad and showed him a book—the book that was like a gift that fell to earth. Now he had a situation that would coerce Ella into his company, impel her to listen to him, and the convincing was up to him.