“He will come around don’t worry about him. Just think happy thoughts of your exam results that will make you feel better.”
“Maggie most people would be telling me that classes and exams aren’t the most important thing. Most people would say, concentrate on love, why are you different?”
“I know firsthand what it’s like to give up a dream, for love.”
“What did you give up, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I wanted to be a journalist.”
“Wow, what happened?”
“I was at college in Chicago, when my teacher sent me out on a work experience program. I was so excited I was getting to experience what it was like to work, at a real newspaper. When I arrived, I was scared and did not know what to expect. But there was someone there to help make it an easy transition.”
“A guy,”
“Yes and to me he was the most beautiful man I ever saw. He had jet black hair and had green eyes, Michael reminds me of him except for the eye color. Anyway, he showed me how to be a real journalist and I fell head over heels for him. Everything about him mesmerized me, I fell in love with his accent, he was British and I never met someone who talked the way he did. He hypnotized me and I loved him.”
“Maggie that is great story,”
“I am not finished yet.”
“Sorry, go on.”
“He was great at first, he couldn’t do enough for me and he took me to all the best places. He would buy me all sorts of gifts, but when I went back to college, he became a little possessive. He started calling every minute and he would not allow me to talk to any other men. Eventually I switched colleges to be nearer him, so he did not have to worry about me so much and we could continue to date. However, I became pregnant and that gave me no choice but to drop out and give up my dream for a while. Edward assured me that I would go back to college once the baby was born. He never asked me to marry him but instead just to move in with him. Once our daughter Emma, was born that’s when everything changed.” “Am I boring you dear?”
“No, not at all, please go on.”
“Edward began to stay out all night and then I wouldn’t see him for days. I heard that he had been with other women, but I was so in love I tried to ignore it. When Emma turned one year old, Edward did the thing that I always feared he would. He left us and I have never seen or heard from him since. You see Miss Hart,”
“Please call me, Alanna.”
“Alanna, I had dreams and they got distinguished because of my love for one man,” she says and I can see that she still has pain over this.
“Yes and I am sorry for that, but you got your daughter from him, didn’t that not make it all worthwhile?”
“Yes, Emma is the most important thing in my life and I am blessed that I have her. However, life was hard for us and I had no time for college. I was working two dead end jobs for poor money, I could not provide her with the things she deserved and I felt awful for that. But later on in life I met Ryan and he showed me how to believe in love again.”
“That is delightful that you now have someone who treats you right, how old is your daughter now?”
“She is twenty and is just about to start college; I will make sure that she follows her dreams. I want you to see that college and your career is worth it, it is not all about love when you are young and free and you should not be tied down to anyone. You should follow your dreams and Alanna I want to know that Mr Black, might not be Mr Perfect.”
“I really appreciate you sharing and your advice; you are an amazing woman Maggie.”
She smiles and taps me on the hand ever so gently. How could this Edward have done a thing like that to her? She is so kind and although she does not wear any make up and she looks tired. You can certainly tell that she is a pretty woman; I never really noticed before perhaps I was to self-involved in whatever I was doing to pay attention to her. She has short dark hair and dark eyes the kind of look that Adrian would not approve of. She is a slim and under the baggy white uniform, I am sure there is a great figure. I compare Maggie’s situation with that of Alice’s and how different there approaches to it was. Alice abused Adrian and Maggie loves her daughter, she cared enough for her to put her dreams off and work two jobs to pay the bills. Whereas Alice would leave Adrian for days while she was, out drinking and beat him when she finally returned. I cannot help but think of how similar Emma and Adrian’s encounters with their fathers were. I am sure that she does not have any issues and it seems like, from what Maggie told me Emma is a great young woman and she owes all that, to having a great mom like Maggie. I have listened to what Maggie had to say on love and I am happy that she has finally met her perfect man in, Ryan. I move over to the couch and take out my study book from my bag, which I left out here yesterday. As I look over the words and try to take them in. I realize that perhaps I should take my college life more seriously. After all Maggie is, right I am young and I have plenty time to fall in love and be with Adrian. However, that thought is paralyzing, I could never even think of my life without him. Every morning I wake up, he is the first thing I think of and the last before I go to sleep at night. I do think of others, my family and my friends but none do I think of in the same way as I do Adrian. I wonder where he is, he told me that he would be here today, what is taking him so long? I close my book, I hear Michael talking on his phone he is speaking too fast, and I cannot make out what he is saying. Everything goes quiet and I see the door begin to open. Michael pushes open the door and walks into the kitchen area. As he walks over to the coffee pot and pours himself a coffee, he does not even for second turn to look at me. He must be mad at me and he will think I am crazy for the way I am staring over at him. I turn my head and look down at my lap where my phone is. I neurotically take the phone and start to flick through the pages, trying to distract myself. I stare at the screen moving it back and forth with my finger. I do not even see what is on the phone all I know is that it is stopping me, from talking to Michael. I feel the tension in the air like ice. I want to talk to him, but I cannot. I really feel that if I did, then any chance I would have of making it up with him, would be in ruins. He seems different towards me now it is as if he cannot bear to look at me, I have to hold back a tear as I think that, I have lost him. He will not stay here any longer, now that he and I have broken our bonds. The bonds we had were superior to any other I had before with anyone even, Adrian. He got me on a level that no other did. He has had the same background and the same pressures from the media. He understood me more than anyone did and I really, have gotten to feel the same way about him. I fear that he will not be in my life anymore and there is something inside me, which is paralyzed by that thought. He is the one person on this earth that I really need. A need that I cannot explain, it goes beyond friendship but not as far as love. I was surprised I fell for Adrian in the way that I did, but nothing shocks me more than my feelings for Michael. I look over at him and I think that this could be the last time that I ever see him. He said that I could not have it both ways and that he would not watch me with Adrian. I am sure that he knows that, Adrian is on his way and I feel deeply saddened by the fact that, once Adrian gets here, Michael no longer will be. I gaze at his face and he looks sad and over stressed. As I gaze at him longer, he turns to me and our eyes meet. I resist the urge to look away instead, I look at him, I want to take in all his features and I want to remember him. He stares at me motionless, he finally blinks and I cannot hold it back any longer. I rush over to him,