Three Thousand Miles To You(82)

“Who is that?”

“Adrian, he is wondering if I got the package yet.” I say nothing back to him; I just walk silently into the room. As I do, I feel sadness wash over me, I miss my room, I miss my life here at college and all this being here, is making me miss it so much more. I long to be back at Columbia with Sophie, dealing with her boy drama and Katharine upset about her brothers latest girlfriend. Life used to be so simple, how did it get so complicated so fast?

“So where is it?” Michael says, his tone seems different but I do not let on that I notice.

“It’s over here,”

I walk over to the dresser and see the round package. I grab it and take off the outer layer of wrapping. Inside there is a round pink box, I carefully open it and what I see, is beyond what I was expecting. I cannot even speak, I just hand the box to Michael and when he sees what is in it, he grabs my arm and whisks me out the door. We walk so fast down the hallway that I do not even see the people to me they are just a haze. Michael opens the car door and waits for me to get in. He slams it shut and instructs the driver to take us back to the Condo. He again opens the box and his face drains white when he sees again, what is inside.

“What do you think this means?”

“Alanna what do you think it means!” Michael says almost shouting. I know what it means, but I cannot say it, I cannot even think it. We sit in silence as the car drives home. When we arrive back at the house Michael still has not said a word. He looks at me and he cannot bear this. I know that he wants to scream at the pitch of his voice, he looks so angry more so than I have ever seen before. I go over to him, but he turns away.

“Michael, please talk to me.”

“I can’t, what I want to say, what I want to do, is make you see sense.”

“Michael everything will be okay.”

“How can you say that?”

“I have to, I can’t give in to this feelings, If did, then I wouldn’t go on.”

“Alanna I will ask you one more time, please come away with me and forget all this.”

“I can’t, I love Adrian and I have to accept all this.”

“How can you, there are people who are going to kill you, we now know that for sure and you still stand by him.”

“That’s what you do, when you love someone.”

“Alanna, I love you!” I try not to hear his words and I cannot look at his face.

“Did you hear me?”

“Yes, I heard you.”

“I love you, Alanna.”

“I can’t do this I am sorry,” I try to walk away but Michael stops me.

“Let’s go away, I know you feel the same way about me.”

“I don’t and if I did, then it would be so much easier.” I say looking away from him; I cannot look at the sadness that fills his eyes.

“If you don’t feel something for me, then why did you get jealous, when I was talking to the girls?”

“I didn’t,” I look down at ground and Michael puts his hands around my face, pulling it back up, so I that have to look at him.

“Alanna please,” I feel tears begin to fill my eyes, I want to break free from his grasp but I cannot I just stand there frozen. So close to him with his hands around my face, I close my eyes at least then I will not have to look at him, while I break his heart. As soon as my eyes close, I feel Michael’s lips on mine. They are soft and gentle a lot different to Adrian, I stand still not opening my eyes, and he finally pulls back after what seems like forever. I open my eyes and he is gazing at me. He looks as if he might do it again, so loosen his hands from my face and step several steps back from him. I see confusion in his eyes; I cannot believe I let him do that. Suddenly a flash of Adrian’s face rushes around in my head. I have to let Michael know, that kiss did not mean anything. I cannot have him think that I feel the same way about him.

“Michael that was wrong, you shouldn’t have done that.”

“You didn’t protest!”

“I was in shock, I was about to cry, any way I never kissed you back.”

“Alanna stop it, you are refusing to see how you feel about me.”

“No Michael, I know how I feel about you.”

“Then I think it’s time you told me!” I feel dizzy and I do not think I stand straight, but I have to make myself talk to him, I cannot let this go on.

“I like you a lot and I want to be your friend. I don’t love you I never will as long as I am with Adrian.”

“Then leave him and be with me.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

“Then what do you mean!”

“It will always be him, I am sorry.”