Three Thousand Miles To You(77)

“I know,” I go over to him and he holds me in his arms. We just sit there for what seems like eternities. I finally break free and head to my room not looking back at him, because if do, I could possibly cave in and say yes to everything he is saying.





Twenty-six



The next few days I spend in my room, I cannot face Michael. I feel so selfish wanting him and loving Adrian at the same time. I cannot begin to describe the way I feel it is as if my whole life has collapsed. I remember what it feels like to be happy and happy to me is the time when Adrian was here in New York. The days we spent watching movies and the nights we sat up talking. I miss him so much and I would give anything if he were here. I look through my phone and see a picture of him that I took when he was not looking. I stare at it for ages talking in his breathtaking looks. His golden skin, his deep green eyes that glow, his full lips that kissed me I close my eyes and remember them on mine. I love him so much and I could forgive anything he does. I know that if everyone knew half the things I do about him, then they would say I was crazy for being with someone like him. I think to what my parents would say and what they would do, I am sure they would have me assessed. Sophie, she already hates Adrian so anything negative she could find out about him would be a bonus. What scares me the most is that the girl I used to be, that one who speaks her mind freely and does not take anything from anyone, she would have thought he was a weirdo and would not want him, she would have run a mile? She would not be in her room pining away for some guy and she certainly would not be in danger for him. However, I feel that she has slipped away and that a more grown up, loved up version has taken her place. I take a second out from studying to check my emails; I see that I have one from my mom,

Alanna darling where are you? I have had a call from Sophie asking if you were with us out here in the Hamptons. Please let me know what is going on, your father and I are worried, we need to know that you are safe. I reply quickly as I do not want to cause my mom and dad any worry,

Hi, Mom I am fine, I needed to take some time out from college. The pressure was staring to take its toll again and I was worried I might have another funny turn. Do not worry I am safe, I am staying with a friend in Soho for a few days to relax. Please Mom, do not worry and make sure Dad does not either, tell Penelope that I love her and I will be home soon, all my love Alanna.

I feel guilty for lying to my mom but it is for the best. I could not put this on my family I would not risk them getting hurt or cause them any further worry. I feel that it is best to keep this a secret from them. I read over the email from my mom again and I gaze at the words about Sophie. She called to check on me, I wonder if possibly she is not mad at me anymore. I look through my other emails and I am happy to see one from Sophie, I notice that she is online before I instant message her I open her email.

Hi Alanna you are right we do need to talk, this cannot go on any longer, call me.

I take a deep breath and open the IM chat box,

Alanna: hello

I patently wait for her reply, which surprisingly does not take long.

Sophie: hello how have you been?

Alanna: Okay and you,

Sophie: Good,

Alanna: We need to talk do you have time?

Sophie: Yes, I have time.

Alanna: About everything that happened, I still feel that you were a little out of order however, I am sorry for the things I said to you.

Sophie: I understand how you thought that I was out of order, because I was and I accept your apology however I still stand by what I said.

Alanna: You do, maybe you should explain it all to me again and this time calmly.

Sophie: I do not like the way he controls you, he seems to think that you belong to him and that you should do whatever he says. I know that you love him and what I need you to know is that, love can be blind. I know firsthand how a guy can influence you, look at Chace and me, he cheated and I pretended I did not know and look where I ended up.

Alanna: Adrian and I are nothing like what you and Chace used to be. He loves me and I do love him. He is only controlling because of his past, if you knew then you would understand.

Sophie: Before I could fully understand I would need to know the truth, perhaps you should tell me.

Alanna: If I do, then you have to promise that you will never tell anyone, okay.

Sophie: I will not, now please tell me.

Alanna: Adrian as you know had a very difficult childhood, but what you do not know is that his mom abused him. She had different guys home almost every night and one became a regular. He got Adrian’s mom addicted to drugs and he did the same to Adrian, he was only ten. While they binged on drugs and alcohol, they would lock him in a dark cupboard under the stair with no food for as long as three days. He would be beaten everyday of life by them, he never had anything growing up and he never had any control.