Michael climbs onto the bed and lays flat on his back with his head resting on the pillow. I lie down and turn on my side, I huddle into his chest and he puts his arm around me. The feeling I have when he does, is safety.
Twenty-five
I wake around 7am and as I do, I see that I am still huddled into Michael’s chest. I look up at him, he is still sleeping he looks so peaceful, and with him lying like this, I can really see his beauty. Knowing that it would not be long until he wakes, I rest my head again on his chest. I know that I should get up but something is stopping me. I like the feel of him and I know it is wrong, but I do. I do not want him to wake up and I wish I had not wakened so early. I decide that I will lay here for another five minutes and then I will get up. I want to close my eyes, but I cannot all I feel like doing is staring at him, so I do. I take in the darkness of his hair and the way it is strangely messed. Even though his eyes are closed, I still have a picture in my mind of what they look like. They are light blue and mesmerizing, his lips are full and I see them twitch a little as he sleeps. He is beautiful and a different kind of beautiful to Adrian, although I would not go as far to say that he is better looking than Adrian. Still there is something very alluring about him. I look at his face and I know that I could not be without him.
“Alanna stop staring at me,” my heart jumps as I hear his voice.
“I wasn’t.”
“Yes you were and you have been for ages now.” I feel a little embarrassed I was so sure that he was sleeping.
“Okay then you caught me, sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he says as he opens his eyes and there they are his startling blue eyes. He turns to look at me and smiles he says,
“It is okay; I stared at you for most of the night.”
I do not know what to say back to him. He is too close in my face and we are holding one another. I think of Adrian and to what he would think if he saw us here. With that thought, I quickly get up and run to the bathroom. I feel bad as if I have done something wrong. I know that I should not have asked Michael to stay last night, but I was scared and I wanted him there. I fear now that he will think that there was more to it, I do not want to lead him on but I do not want to tell him the truth either. I could not handle it if he was to get mad at me and go out of my life. I shake myself and try to fix myself up for the day. I have a long hot shower and put all of this with Michael out of my mind. I get dressed and head out into the oversized Condo. I see Maggie cooking as always and today Jackson is the guard by the door.
“Come get your breakfast dear,” Maggie, says as she holds a plate filled with every kind of food you could mention, I walk over and take a seat. She hands me the plate and I look at the quantity of the food. There is no way I will ever eat all this. I have a few mouthfuls of the scrambled eggs and bite of the toast and already I am full. I can see Maggie look at me, as I poke the food with my fork.
“Are you not hungry dear?”
“Not really, the food is great and thanks for making it but I just can’t eat.”
“Is there something on your mind dear?”
“There is a lot on my mind.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I would love to talk to Maggie she seems like she is a great woman, but I do not know if I should. I know that she tells Adrian when I do not eat and I fear that she would tell him everything I say.
“I am fine; I just have a few things that I need to sort out.”
“May I ask what they are?”
“I have college stuff that needs my attention.”
“I see Miss Hart; I don’t think that college is what you are worrying about.”
“I have exams coming up and I need to study for them but I don’t feel as if it is important right now.”
“Because you are here,”
“Yes, I feel that there is too much going on here for me to worry about college.”
“That’s what love will do to you?”
I begin to think even more that she fishing for information, but I want to talk to her. She is the only girl I have talked to in forever; it makes me think of how much I miss Sophie.
“I can’t think of anything else.”
“That’s not a bad thing tell me dear, how old are you?”
“Twenty-two,”
“You have many years yet to worry about love, but right now you have college and I am guessing that you want to graduate this year?”
“Yes it was the plan.”
“And tell me what is that you want to do after college?”
“I want a job where I can help kids that are in poverty.”
“That’s a wonderful thing that you want to do.”