“Adrian I can’t begin to imagine all this, you were hooked on drugs at the age of ten? How did you get away from all that?”
“When I went into foster care, I had to do six weeks of rehab at the age of twelve; I don’t want you to think of me like this.”
“But Adrian it’s your story and I know that it’s not a good one, but it’s what makes you who you are.”
“I am not that person anymore Alanna.”
“All this still doesn’t explain why there are people after you.”
“I know it doesn’t, but if you think hard enough about it, then you will come to figure it out for yourself.”
“I can’t, I want you to tell me.”
“Look at me, I will tell you one day all about it, but for now I need you to please let it go.”
“It will take me sometime to process all this.”
“Take as much time as you need,” Adrian begins to get up and I pull him back.
“Wait I still have other things I need to say,”
“Yes Alanna,” he sits back down and I cannot help but notice his vulnerability.
“You are very controlling over me,”
“I know I am controlling, but it’s only because I love you, and I feel so guilty about everything.”
“But Adrian the way you grabbed me and threw me over your shoulder like that, it wasn’t normal.”
“I know it wasn’t, I have a temper that will shock you.”
“Adrian why are you like that?”
“I guess it’s because, I never had any control of anything in my childhood. I could not control Alice, I could control the beatings from David, and I could not control myself around drugs. Now I try to take control of everything when I can, I never want to end up like that again.”
“Adrian I will never do anything to hurt you, I am not Alice.”
“You are the very opposite of what she is, I know that you will make a wonderful mother, you will treat your kids like gold and never hurt them.”
“I would never hurt anyone, at least of all a child, but I did see Alice and she didn’t seem like she was on drugs or anything like that. I just thought she was a sad woman - sitting by the beach. Have you ever thought about maybe seeing her again? ”
“No, there is no way I will ever look her in the eye again, she has ruined my life. She rained blow after blow on me and never thought to say sorry. When she wasn’t abusing me she let David do it instead, she is an awful person and she will never been in my life.”
“What if I see her?”
“Alanna she will not be in your life either, you have to promise me that you will never see her again.”
“There you go with the control thing again,”
“You make me control you, with the silly ideas you get into your head.”
“Why are you getting so angry, it was only a suggestion?”
“Alanna have you been listening to anything that I have been saying, this woman battered me, she starved me, how could you want to see her?”
“I don’t, but you are obviously still carrying this around with you, even though you are a self-made millionaire with your own company and tons of respect. If you could just see her again then perhaps you would get some closer, and you could finally move on.”
“Those memories are going to stay with me for life, I know you are only trying to help and I am grateful that you care, but I know how to handle this, I can be happy as long as I am with you.”
“I will make you happy.”
“Alanna, can you forgive me for today?”
“Yes,” he takes me in his arms and kisses me as if he never has before.
Twenty
For the last 48 hours, I have been alone in this hotel room with Adrian. We have talked so much that I really feel like now I know him. Along with the talking, there have been numerous kissing sessions and we have watched countless movies. I have eaten like never before and I sleep like never before. Dreaming constantly, about Adrian and wondering what our life could be like together. I have never thought about marriage and kids, but now that I am with Adrian, it is always in my mind somewhere. I have had dreams about our kids, a beautiful little boy with the same look as Adrian, a little girl with hair fairer than the sun. I know it is only a dream but sometimes I wish it were a reality. Sometimes I wake to tears, wanting it so bad. I never thought that I could feel like this in such a short space of time, but I am very infatuated with him. Today is the last day that Adrian is in New York, he has been here for four days now but it seems like a month. We have been through so much and I have learned new things about him. I now understand why he is the way he is. Every time I think of his mother Alice and that awful creature that is David, I feel sick to my stomach. Who could ever do all those things to an innocent child? What kind of sick, twisted brain must Alice have, to allow a strange man to abuse her only son like that? I will never understand her. I still find it hard that Adrian was hooked on drugs at the age of ten. The feeling he must have gone through when he was being brought off them, the pain and the need, does not even bare to think about. However, I cannot help but admire him for the way he has built up a life for himself. The business, the company and the millions, he has said to me that he would have given it all up, to have a happy loving childhood. He deserves the success, he deserves the power, and he deserves everything he has. There is one person that Adrian will always be grateful to and that is Mr Jenkins. He took him out of foster care and made him his son. He treated him too well and showed him life. Adrian insists that he would still be sleeping in a gutter without a penny, and hooked on drugs if it were not for him. His wife took a little while to warm up to Adrian; she was wary of him and did not trust him first. However, once she knew the real him, she grew to love him. Michael is and always will be Adrian’s brother. I cannot help but wonder about Chad the other brother. Who was he? What happened for him to fall out with family?