“Alanna,” I faintly hear my mom say. I try to respond but words do not come out. “Help, someone help.” my mom shouts.
“I will call an ambulance Miss, don’t worry she will be fine.” I hear someone say but I cannot see a thing. I try again to speak, as my mom gently slaps my face trying to get me to wake up and respond. I still hear the panic in her voice, but it is starting to fade everything is going quiet, and slowly I feel myself falling into a deep sleep.
Eighteen
“Where am I?” I think, as I open my eyes half to see a big room with pure white walls. There is a smell like chemicals; it is too bright so I close my eyes again. I try to shift myself up in the bed, but I feel to tired and drained that I cannot. Instead, I try to open my eyes fully, but it is hard, everything I see is covered with a thick haze. I close my eyes and open them again.
“Who are you?” I say, I cannot really see who it is all I can see is a black suit. “Alanna it’s me.” I hear in a soothing voice. As hard as it is to see clearly, I can still make out whom it is; my eyes come into focus and its Adrian that I see.
“Adrian, are you really here?” I have to ask fearing that this is all just another one of my dreams.
“Yes I am here Alanna, but please try to relax, don’t sit up, I will go get the doctor.”
“Adrian please wait, where am I?”
“You are in the hospital; you passed out while you were out with your mother. Please don’t worry you are fine, you just need to rest lie back down and I will be right back.”
“Okay,” I say lying down.
I rest my head against the pillow as I take in this environment. My mind spins and all I can think of is Adrian. He is actually here, I am talking to him and he is not just someone on the other end of a phone. I get another image of him in my mind as I think, is he still mad at me? Why would he come to New York, is he here to tell me that it is over? Adrian comes back in the room this time he is not alone. There is a young woman doctor and she is carrying a black folder, my mom is also with them.
“Miss Hart, how are you feeling?” The doctor says as she walks over to my bedside.
“I feel a little tired, and maybe a little drained, am I okay?”
“Yes you are fine; however you have suffered from exhaustion.”
“How long have I been here for?”
“You came in a few hours ago, I need to run some tests and hopefully we can let you go home.”
“Okay,”
“I understand that you probably want to spend a few minutes with your family, I will give you a moment before I send in the nurse.”
“Thanks,” I say giving her a smile.
What I see next is so unreal that I cannot believe my eyes. Adrian walks over to me and gives me a soft kiss on my forehead. Feeling a pang of excitement, I quickly glance over to my mom who is standing at the back of the room. Her arms folded and her cheeks stained from her tears, there is a look of sadness in her eyes, and I feel so guilty for putting her through this. How she must have felt seeing me lying there on the floor of the coffee shop. I remember the panic in her voice, and the way she screamed out for help. That thought will stay with me forever.
“Alanna you really frightened me, are you sure you are feeling okay?”
“Yes Mom I feel fine, I am just tired.”
“I don’t understand where all this has come from, have you been overworked at college?” I cannot tell my mom the truth that I have not been sleeping, because I am scared for my life.
“I guess so, class has just been getting a bit much and I have been studying way too hard. I was staying up late and not sleeping much, and then waking up too early, I guess it has just taken its toll.”
“Alanna you must look after yourself,” my mom says taking hold of my hand. “I will Mom.”
“Mrs Hart, is it too much to ask if I could please have a moment alone with Alanna?” Adrian says staring my mom in the eye.
“Of course not, I will go get some coffee and phone your father, he is going out of his mind with worry.” Adrian gives my mom a nod of thanks and she makes her way out the door.
“Alanna I am so sorry,” Adrian immediately says.
“Why are you sorry, you didn’t do anything?”
“It’s because of me you are in hospital.”
“No its not, it’s my own fault I have not been sleeping, you mustn’t blame yourself.”
“But I do, I am the reason that weren’t sleeping, you were scared and I can never forgive myself.”
“You have to listen to me Adrian, none if this is your fault,” he gets closer to me and he bends his head down to my level. “Alanna, can you ever forgive me?”