“This is unbearable,”
“What is?” I grab my hair nervously and run my fingers through it, I fling it behind me and some lose curls caresses my face. I exhale and I look again at Michael.
“Why do you want me? There are a million other girls out there, who are more suited to you than me.” Michael stands up and walks closer to me. He takes my hands in his and smiles at me.
“Alanna, no girl with ever mean as much to me as you do.”
“What about Katharine?”
“What about her?”
“You cannot lead her on, it’s not fair to do that to her.”
“I won’t lead her on; I do care for her, but Alanna, if I had to choose between you and her, it would be you every time.” I feel awkward and I wish that this conversation never happened.
“Michael, I love Adrian, however he does not love me. I do not want to be with anyone other than him. I feel in myself that I would not want you to wait and hope that you and I can be together. If you feel that, you could love Katharine then be with her. If not, end it, before it gets out of control.” He smirks and I feel that this is all a game to him. I hate to see him so smug. Katharine and I are not on speaking terms right now. However, I feel bad about how Michael is treating her. He obviously does not love her, and I feel that perhaps she thinks that he does. I hope that for both their sakes, they can figure this out, before it gets messy.
“We both know that’s a lie. He loves you more than life. He is just an idiot.”
“Michael, don’t take about him like that!” He rolls his eyes.
“It is the truth; he doesn’t know how lucky he is to have you. Alanna, you are here waiting for him, if he cannot realise that and come back to you then he is the biggest fool, I know.” I let go of his hands and begin to pace up and down the room.
“Michael, do you know where he is?” He shifts nervously at my persistence.
“No, I don’t.”
“I do not believe you! If you know, you have to tell me.” He looks annoyed with me, he walks back over the bed and lies fully down, and he lifts my little white teddy bear from my bed and places it in his chest. He looks over to me and he has a devilish smirk pressed across his face.
“Alanna, believe me I don’t know where he is.” I sit on Sophie’s bed, to take the weight off my feet. I cross my legs and fold my arms.
“Please Michael, tell me where he is.”
“Alanna, I don’t know what to tell you. Do you want me to lie to you? Is that what you want?” He says sharply. I close my eyes shortly and open them again.
“Of course not, but don’t you even have an idea, of where he could be?”
“I really haven’t got a clue. The only person who might know where he could be is, Jeff.”
“Who is Jeff?” I ask, leaning further back on the bed.
“Jeff is Adrian’s right-hand man. He has put him in charge of the company for now. There is no one Adrian trusts more than him.” I wonder if I could call this Jeff. I wonder if he would tell me where Adrian is. My mind is filling with possibilities.
“Could I contact, Jeff.” He looks annoyed,
“No, you can’t.”
“Why not,”
“Because,”
“That’s not really answer.”
“Yes, well I don’t feel like giving you one.” He says in an absolute tone.
“You can’t tell me what do,” he rolls his eyes again and he throws the teddy bear gently towards me. I catch it and I say,
“I will find him.”
“Yeah, sure you will.”
“For once in your life, could you just not be, sarcastic?” I say frowning at him.
“Not in my nature.”
Five
The next morning I waken to the sound of Sophie blow-drying her hair. I rise gently from the bed and I feel a little burst of pain. I walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower. I cleanse my body and make sure that I am careful around my stitches. When I finish my shower, I wrap a towel tightly around me. I walk over the mirror and wipe away the steam from it with my hand. I apply my moisturizer and think of my scar. I have never really looked at it, and I wonder how bad it is. I slowly loosen my towel and glance at it in the mirror. There is heavy bruising that climbs up to my navel area. Lower down, is the stitches, they are stained with dried blood and they hurt to the touch. Underneath the stitches, I can see the scar, the deep whole where the bullet punctured my skin. I expected the scaring to be much worse than it is. I know I will I have these markings for life and they will be a constant reminder of how much that I owe my life to Michael. The scar also signifies the end of my relationship with Adrian. The pain I feel when that thought enters my mind is numbing. I feel like sobbing every time I hear his name. I want to curl up in my bed and lay there until he comes back. The longer this goes on, the more I feel that he is not coming back. I want to stop breathing at the thought, but what keeps me going is that he might. One day, Adrian could come back. His glowing green eyes may be staring into mine once again. I pray every night for him to realise that I need him. I want nothing more than I want him. I choose to be optimistic and believe that we will be together again. I will never give up on him and I will never be with anyone other than him. I quickly get dressed into a loose pair of cargo pants and white button up shirt. I blow dry my hair and tie it up into high ponytail. I through on some flip-flops and grab my bag. I head out into the busy hallway of Columbia. I walk briskly along the halls and into the classroom. I take a seat at the back; I do not really feel like being at the center of the gossip. I through my bag onto the desk and take out my books, I sit back in the chair and try not to make eye contact with anyone. The class begins and Mr Hopkins starts by saying,