“I understand, but you cannot deny that he has hurt you by not being here.” I cave at her words; I know that they are true. My heart is racing at the very thought of him.
“He has hurt me but I cannot stop loving him.” I say in a very weak voice. Nurse Melissa, briefly smiles at me. She opens the solid oak door and walks briskly away. I throw myself back into the bed. I lean my head firmly against the pillow as I try my hardest to fight back tears. Adrian flashes in my mind, his dark navy pinstriped suit, his full lips, his silky hair and those glowing green eyes. Why was he punishing me by staying away? I do not believe that he really thinks that I am better off without him. How could I be? I am a total mess at the very thought of life without him. Another thing that is plaguing my mind is that, why would he care so much about Melissa? Why has Adrian gone to the trouble of having, her checked out? What was his reason for doubting her? Does he think that she may have another agenda? So many possibilities are rushing around in my head. With one fluid motion, I rise up and grab my phone. I firmly grasp it in my hand, and I dial Adrian’s number once again. I listen as it rings and with no answer, I hang up and immediately try again. I ring his phone around thirty times, and still with no answer. I am hoping that if I am persistent enough then he will cave in and answer my calls. Five calls later and still no answer, I slam my phone very hardly down onto the table. It makes a rather loud bang, and the frustration is beginning to show. My teeth are clenched and my palms are sweating, my breathing is heavy and I need a sip of water. I reach over and grab my small plastic glass. I fill it with water and then I hear my phone ring. I immediately let go of the glass and it falls to floor, spilling the water as it does. I shift back over to the table in a painful motion. I lift the phone that is now ringing even louder and the incessant buzzing is tingling my hand. I look to the name that appears on the screen, and it is who I have been longing to talk to you, it is Adrian. I quickly accept the call,
“Hello, Adrian, are you there?” The phone is silent. “Hello!” I say again, this time in a much firmer tone.
“Hello,” a calm British voice replies,
“Adrian, is that really you?” I say with desperation in my words.
“Yes Alanna, it is me.” I am elated by his voice. Finally, my Adrian is talking to me.
“Oh Adrian, I have missed you so much. I have been out of my mind with worry about you.”
“Alanna, how are you feeling?” He says rather sharply.
“Wonderful, now that I am talking to you.”
“I am glad to hear that you are recovering. However, this is not a social call.” I am confused by his sharpness and by his words.
“What?”
“I am just calling you to tell you, to stop harassing me.” I am stunned, is he really saying this?
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me Alanna, stop calling me, and stop the emails and the texts.” I am hurt my him. I never expected him to act in this way. He sounds very assertive in his words.
“Adrian, I love you.”
“I don’t care, I do not love you.” Tears pour from my eyes at the sound of his words.
“You do not mean that.”
“Yes, I mean every word that I am saying, get the picture Alanna, I do not love you, I never have and I never will.” I am now sobbing, down the phone to Adrian. My heart is pounding and I cannot breathe. I swallow hard and force out words.
“Adrian, please don’t do this. I love you more than life. I need you, please take back what you said.”
“I will not, you were just a distraction. I do not need you anymore; please do not contact me again.” He hangs up and the phone again is silent, I throw the phone to floor, and slide under the covers. The hotness, of my tears and panting in my breath forces me to throw them back from my face.
“You look awful.” I hear in a very sarcastic voice. I wipe away the water from eyes, and focus on this voice. I slide up the bed and I lean forward. I see a very tall guy, with thick black hair. I rub my eyes and I see Michael stand before me.
“What is going on with you?” He says smirking at me. I creep up into the bed, I sit up straight and I look at Michael. His eyes are still as piercing as ever, his hair is shorter than before. He stands coolly wearing dark blue jeans, a plain white t-shirt and a black leather jacket. He is gorgeous and I am reminded of how stunning he is. I gaze at him for what seems like hours. I am far too upset about what Adrian has said to me, to try to force out words. He says he never loved me. I am plagued by thoughts of his kisses, and I feel that cannot be true. I have a lump in my throat at the thought of him. If what he says is true, then was everything we had just a lie?