“When Emma was born, Edward wasn’t around a lot and he refused to marry Maggie. She heard rumours every day, that he was with other women, but she ignored them until one day he left her and a one-year-old Emma.”
“I never knew any of this; I wonder why she never told me?” Dr James says his voice is sad and I think that he feels sorry for himself. I reach over and take his hand and he looks up at me.
“You still love her don’t you?” He sighs and agrees with what I am saying.
“Yes, I love her but I can never be with her, her mother won’t allow it.”
“The thing with Maggie is that she had to put her dreams of becoming a journalist on hold, while she looked after Emma, and Maggie believes that love is not the most important thing. She feels that love finds you and, until it does, you should focus on your career. She said she would never let her daughter fall stupid in love and throw away her dreams.”
“That’s crazy; you can still have a career whilst you’re in love.”
“I know that, but when people go through certain things they tend to stick to the opposite of what they have experienced,” I say as my mind flashes to Adrian and the way he is. I automatically think to how unreasonable he is being right now; it is as if he is trying to prove a point by staying away from me. I close my eyes for a second and an image of Adrian pops into my head. It was the night when I sang to him that I remember. His face was amazed when he heard me sing, it seemed very important to him and he has a deep connection to music, which possibly is reflected back to his child hood. Dr James brings me out of thought,
“Alanna, I think that you were day-dreaming or something.” He says in a varied voice.
“Sorry, I do that a lot; anyway I hope you understand more about Maggie now?”
“Kind of, but that doesn’t mean I agree with her opinions.”
“No, but it gives you little hope that it’s not you who did something to offend her, Emma could be with any guy and Maggie would still act the way she has, it is nothing personal.”
“Alanna, I hope that you are right.”
“I am sure that I am, Dr James.”
“It is just James, ok?” I smile at him.
“Alright then James,”
We talk about a number of things over the next twenty minutes. He has told me about his family and that he has two brothers, one is younger and the other is older. James also told me that his parents are divorced, his mom lives in the New York and his Father has moved down to Miami. He explained how hard the divorce was on him and is brothers, but after three years, the family is now in a good place. His father visits every weekend and the brothers go to dinner at their mothers every Wednesday night. Alistair is his older brother and he is a top lawyer at some fancy firm in the city. George is his younger brother and he is still in high school, according to James George is the rebel in the family, he does everything he possibly can to you be different from the other two and insists that he won’t end up in a boring job like his older brothers.
“What does George find boring about your jobs?” James rolls his eyes.
“Everything, he wants to be a rock star of all things.”
“Everyone has a dream, music maybe is Georges dream.”
“No he just wants to rebel against my father.”
“What does your father work at?”
“He owns a luxury car dealership in Miami, he always wanted one of his sons to take over the business but I am a doctor and Alistair is a lawyer, you see George is the only one left and that’s why my father pushes him harder and George pushes back with even more force.” I nod to him and my mind turns unexpectedly to Michael and Chad. I wonder if they had the similar problems to those of James and his brothers. I bring myself out of thought and continue my conversation with James.
“How old is George?”
“Sixteen going on sixty” I laugh and think to Penelope, although she is only seven she can certainly be a little Madam when things do not go her way. She is growing up so fast, I miss her and I must tell my mom to bring her to see me. It scares me to think that the last time that I saw her was right before I went to London.
“He is still young, he might come around.” I say, shaking off that terrible guilt I have for not seeing my own little sister in so long.
“I hope so, for my father’s sake, Alanna can I ask you something?” I flinch a little at his words but I compose myself.
“Yes of course.”
“Your boyfriend, why isn’t he here?” I hate the very fact that Adrian is not here, but I hate to talk about it even more. Somehow, I feel obliged to tell James everything. I don’t know if it is because he is my doctor, or because he might understand about how I am feeling, everything he has gone through with Adrian’s sister, has struck a chord with me and I feel that he would be the only other person who would understand how I am feeling right now. I take a deep breath and I begin to tell James all about Adrian.