I play with my food nervously as I try to pick up the courage to ask Adrian how he feels. However, I chicken out as Adrian gets up from his seat. With a swift glide of his feet, he is standing behind me. He places his hand onto my shoulder as he gently slides my chair away from the table. I turn to look at him and he is glaring back at me with those green eyes.
“Baby, would you like to watch a movie?” I smile at him as I take his hand. He walks me over to the sofa and he places me down. He heads over to the TV cabinet and he begins to rummage through the DVD’s. I gently let out a laugh as Adrian considers his options.
“Baby, what movie would you like?”
“Anything, I don’t mind,” I say lightly as he raises a thick, dark eyebrow. He quickly chooses a movie and then he dims the lights. I lean back into the sofa as Adrian strides back over to me. He lies in the corner of the sofa with his legs fully stretched out. He leans over and pulls me alongside him. Adrian wraps his arm around me and I gently place my hand onto his chest. I cannot hold back my smile as I focus my eyes on the TV.
“Adrian, I love this movie,” Adrian laughs.
“Doesn’t every girl love ‘An Affair to Remember’?” Adrian says smugly. I laugh at him and then I sigh as I begin to watch the movie.
The movie is halfway through and as I watch the romance unfold before my eyes, I smile at Adrian. I would have never expected him to like this movie but he cannot tear his eyes from the screen. He is lost in the world of Cary Grant and I gently laugh as his eyebrows rise in excitement. He notices my amusement and he questions me.
“Alanna, why are you laughing,” he says in cool voice. I slide myself further into his body as he strokes my hair.
“Nothing, I just never expected you to like this movie.” He laughs at me.
“I can watch any type of movie and especially love stories.” I burst out laughing and so does Adrian. I bask in the sound of his laugh and I love it when I get to hear it. The sound is captivating to me and it makes me feel as if I matter to him. When he is controlling and serious, I feel that he is unhappy but when he smiles and laughs, I feel that he is overjoyed with glee. It makes me feel special when I make him laugh. I cannot imagine that he had much to laugh about when he was a child so I love it when he lets his laughter out. I cannot contain my smile as I gaze at him. His crisp white shirt is slightly unbuttoned to reveal his tanned skin. His hair is messy as it gently touches his forehead, his long slim legs seem to go on forever, and his black suit trousers fit him like a glove. I look at his face and I am reminded of William. The thought of that little boy will not escape my mind and I cannot hold back my feelings any longer. I need to talk to Adrian about him and I need to know what is going on in his head. I take the remote from the table beside the sofa and I slowly turn down the volume. Adrian instantly looks at me and he has a wicked smirk on his face.
“You know if you want to kiss me all you have to do is ask!” I hold back my smile at his sarcastic words as I begin to tell him how I really feel.
“That’s not why I turned down the TV; I have something I need to talk to you about.” Adrian sits up and I fall from his grasp. I quickly readjust to his new position and I wait for his reply.
“Is there something wrong?” He asks firmly. I shake my head at him.
“Nothing is wrong but I need you to tell me how you feel about William.” Adrian’s eyes widen at my words and I can see that he is nervous. I maintain eye contact with him so that he can see the pain in my eyes. Adrian gently holds the bridge of his nose in annoyance but I still maintain my gaze. He looks at me and I can tell that he is hurting.
“Alanna what do you want me to say?”
“I want you to tell me how you are feeling. This cannot be easy for you and I don’t want you to go through this alone.”
“Alanna, until I know for sure that little boy is mine I don’t know how I feel.”
“Okay but what if he is your son what will you do about it?”
“Alanna I cannot answer your questions,” Adrian looks as if he is getting angry but I insist on quizzing him more.
“You need to, now please answer me.” Adrian rolls his eyes.
“What do you want me to say?” He says in a loud voice. I jump a little from the sound and Adrian quickly reaches for my hand.
“Baby I am sorry, but as I said I don’t know how I feel about him. He thinks that Chad is his father. How can I break his little heart like that?”
“Adrian, if Chad is not his father then he deserves to know.”
“Yes he does but until I know for sure I cannot think about him as my son. Every bone in my body is aching with fear that he might be mine. I am not a good person and that little boy deserves better than me for a father. I am a monster who, until I met you, despised love. I wanted it so badly that I hated it. I don’t know what type of father I would be but I wouldn’t want to be like mine. I could never abandon a child and if William is mine then I will try my hardest to love him.” I reach out and clasp Adrian’s face.