Dozing fitfully in her bed, Flo was woken at four in the morning by her phone. For a split second she thought it must be the hospital ringing with news of Zander – No, please don’t tell me he’s died before I can say goodbye – then she saw Lena’s name flash up on the screen.
Although it still could be that. Lena was the next of kin.
Her mouth was dry. ‘Yes?’
‘Just so you know, I’ve spoken to the doctor on call. I told her I’ll sign the forms so the organs can be donated.’
‘Really? Thank you.’ Weak with gratitude, Flo saw Jeremy’s luminous green eyes gleaming at her from the foot of the bed. ‘I promise you won’t regret it.’
Lena’s voice was croaky with grief and exhaustion. ‘I hope you’re right.’
Flo buried her nose in the pillowcase next to her and breathed in the faint, heartbreakingly familiar scent of the cologne Zander had always worn. How she was going to get through this, she couldn’t begin to imagine. But somehow, because there was no other way, she knew she had to.
Exhaling slowly, she spoke with feeling. ‘I know I’m right.’
Chapter 48
The moment Hallie saw who was calling, her heart went into overdrive. Jonathan was her transplant coordinator and it was eleven o’clock on Monday evening. All things considered, it was unlikely he’d be ringing at this time of night for a friendly chat.
Six minutes later, Hallie pushed open her mother’s bedroom door.
‘Mum? Would you be OK to give me a lift?’
Fay was sitting up in bed with her hair in squashy pink rollers, reading a book and eating her favourite crisps. She put down the book and looked puzzled. ‘What? You mean now? Where on earth do you want to go?’
Hallie was trembling all over. ‘To the hospital. Jonathan just called. They think they’ve got a match for me.’
‘OH MY GOD . . .’ Fay clapped both hands to her mouth. Crisps went flying and the book hit the floor with a thud as the duvet was thrown back and she scrambled out of bed. Then her arms were around Hallie and they were both shaking, unable to take in the fact that at last the call had come.
‘It’s not definite yet. It might not be a good enough match.’ Hallie knew this was a possibility, but just now, she wasn’t even considering it; deep down inside she was convinced that this was it, the surgery would go ahead.
‘Oh my darling, I can’t believe it’s happening. After all this time. Oh my God, look at my hands . . .’ Fay held them up so they could both see the tremor.
‘Are you OK to drive? Or shall we get a taxi?’
‘No, no, I’ll be fine. Give me five minutes to get dressed . . . oh God, my brain, I don’t know what to think. I’m in shock . . .’
‘Oh Mum.’ Hallie hugged her again and heard crunching underfoot. ‘We’re treading crisps into the carpet.’
‘My beautiful baby girl.’ As she held her tight, Fay whispered into her ear, ‘I love you so much.’
It was over, it was really and truly over. And she’d been right about yesterday being the very worst day of her life, but Flo knew that harder days still – and many of them – were yet to come.
It was now early morning, the rain of the last few days had cleared and the sun was coming up over the rooftops of Clifton. As if sensing that she needed contact, Jeremy was in her arms, purring and gently kneading his paws against her chest.
And he never did that.
Across the square, Lena was in Zander’s flat with Giles. Yesterday they’d somehow got through what had needed to be done, and everyone at the hospital had been wonderfully kind. A specialist nurse in organ donation had arrived from the transplant centre and arranged everything. She’d been lovely, patiently explaining each step of the procedure whilst organising the completion of all the necessary tests and investigations. Then, when the documentation had been taken care of and the last details arranged, Flo and Lena had separately said their final goodbyes to Zander.
After that, he’d been transferred to the operating theatre and the surgery had been carried out. From there, his body – oh God, that word – had been taken to the mortuary, and the specialist nurse, having personally packed the organs due for transplant, had arranged for them to be delivered to wherever they’d be used.
She couldn’t have been kinder or more empathetic, and it had helped.
Well, as much as anything could.
Out there somewhere, other people were getting the chance of life.
Please God, let them appreciate it.
A tear slid down Flo’s cheek and dripped off her chin. It landed on the top of Jeremy’s head, causing him to twitch his ears. Then her phone beeped and with a yowl of irritation he wriggled free, leaping to the floor.