Staring at my ceiling, I replayed the dream I’d just awoken from. Kiera had been in the kitchen, making me a lunch before I went off to work. After handing me the bag, she’d looked deep into my eyes and told me, “I love you so much, Kellan. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
I wanted her to say that to me for real, so badly. Smiling into the darkness, I whispered, “I love you too, Kiera. More than you know.”
It was really early in the morning, and I hadn’t had much sleep anyway, but when I closed my eyes, all I saw was Kiera. Anxious to see her again, I couldn’t get back to sleep. When I finally gave up trying, I headed downstairs and got to work making a pot of coffee. My smile widened as the dark brown liquid began to fill the carafe. Seeing it, smelling it, reminded me of her. It reminded me of making love to her, reminded me of my dream. Such a nice fantasy…I wished it were real.
The pot was nearly to the top when warm arms wrapped around my waist. I inhaled a deep breath, taking her in, then twisted to face her. She gave me a tired but happy smile.
“Mornin’.”
Her smile grew at hearing my greeting. “Good morning.” She pressed her head to my chest and I pulled her into me. Closing my eyes, I savored her—her scent, her softness, her warmth. I wanted to remember everything, just in case this was a dream too.
We didn’t pull apart until we heard the shower running upstairs. With a small sigh, Kiera pulled back. There was a slight mar on her forehead. Guilt. I wished she didn’t feel that way, but I understood why she did. A part of me did too. We were both bastards, playing this game, sneaking around behind Denny’s back, skirting near a line we’d already crossed and shouldn’t cross again. We should both stop what we were doing…but I already knew I couldn’t. I was in too deep.
While I prepared mugs for us, Kiera started making tea for Denny. It was sweet of her, but it was a cruel reminder that my dream was just that—a dream. Watching her stabbed like a knife, so I focused on our drinks instead.
Moments later, Denny came downstairs. I gave him a friendly smile and greeting as I sat at the table with my coffee. Kiera was leaning against the counter, drinking hers. She was keeping her distance from me so Denny wouldn’t be suspicious. She handed him his tea, and he told her, “Thanks, babe,” as he leaned in for a kiss.
The look on her face as she gazed up at him wrenched me, but I couldn’t stop staring. There was love in her eyes for him; there was no question who had her heart. But when he angled his head to playfully nuzzle her neck, her eyes turned to me, and oddly enough, her expression didn’t change. Well, maybe her smile slipped some, and troubled sadness filled her eyes. She looked sorry, but I wasn’t sure if she was feeling that toward me or Denny, or both of us. It was confusing, painful. I gave her a brief Don’t worry about me smile, then concentrated on my coffee.
As Kiera sat down, Denny told her, “I may have to work really late tonight. Max has a job that he needs my help with.” Denny said the word “job” oddly and Kiera frowned, like she was sure the task was something trivial, something beneath Denny’s skills. Stuff like that really irritated her. Seeing her expression, Denny quickly added, “You’ll be working anyway, so I didn’t think you’d mind if I said I’d help him…right?”
Kiera opened her mouth, seeming like she wanted to object, but she had no real reason to. After flashing a glance at me, she murmured, “Right…sounds good.” She seemed guilty again after she said it, and I resisted the urge to hold her hand.
I was all smiles as she slid into my car later. Driving her to and from school was almost my favorite part of the day. I loved seeing her across the seat from me. It felt so right. She smiled as she closed the door, equally happy. As I started the car, I asked her, “Do I get to walk with you today?” She’d made me stay behind the last time I drove her.
She pursed her lips in thought, then shook her head. “No, I think it would be better if you stayed in the car.”
I sighed, but left it at that. She had her reasons, I guess. But I really enjoyed walking with her, and it was innocent, like she wanted. I’d keep trying. I dropped her off with a “Have fun. I’ll see you later,” then headed to the grocery store for supplies.
When I was done shopping, I went home to work for a little bit. There was a song Evan and I were working on that was nearly finished. Evan was busy arranging the music for it, and a couple of the lines I’d had didn’t fit now. His melodies were better than my lyrics though, so I was switching it up to fit his stuff.