My lips pressed against hers, frantic. My hands scrunched up her loose skirt, then I ripped off her underwear. I needed to be inside her. Now. In my ear, she moaned, “Oh, God…please, Kellan…” She wanted me. Me. She loved me. She had to.
I shoved my underwear down, out of the way, then pushed into her. Kiera whimpered as she bit my shoulder. I buried my head in her neck, needing a minute to recover from the wet warmth throbbing around me. Jesus…fuck…so good. You feel so good. This feels so right. I love you so much…
Kiera raised her hips, moving me into her. Waves of pleasure rippled down me, and I pressed hard inside her, needing more. So much more. “Harder,” she groaned. Grabbing her hips, I drove into her again and again. I’d never felt anything like it. The pent-up desire, the sadness, the desperation, the loneliness, the passion, it was all culminating in the best sexual experience I’d ever had. I never wanted it to end, and yet I couldn’t wait to come with her.
“God, Kiera…” I murmured as our bodies rocked together. “God…yes…God, I love you…” I whispered, the sound getting lost in her skin.
She moaned and pulled me tighter. Our movements became faster, deeper, harder. I gripped her tight, knowing I was probably hurting her, but I was too close to exploding to care. Kiera thrashed underneath me, crying out again and again as the pleasure built up to an uncontainable level. Lost in the moment, I cried out too. I’d never felt a climax so strong. Every nerve ending was on fire, tingling, building up with tension that needed releasing. Kiera started moaning in an escalating rhythm. God, yes, please, come for me…come now.
I felt her walls constrict around me as she let out a stuttering cry. Then I felt her nails clawing down my back so hard, my skin felt wet. I inhaled a quick, pain-filled breath. The slight agony mixed with the profound pleasure drove me over the edge. I let out a deep moan and tightened my fingers around Kiera’s thigh as hard as I could while my body exploded in bursts of glorious release.
My hips slowed as the euphoria lessened. For a few seconds, I felt nothing but peaceful satisfaction. I loved her. She loved me. We’d made love to each other, and it had been better than anything I’d ever felt before. I wanted to curl up in her arms, feel her stroke my hair, whisper that I loved her and that I’d never leave her. I’d stay here with her, because this was where my heart was. She was my heart.
Then I felt Kiera start to cry. No, not cry. She was sobbing. Pain-filled, remorseful sobs that screamed Why did I just do that?
My happiness disintegrated as I pulled back from her. I fixed my clothes, then sat back on my heels. Grabbing my shirt, I held it in my hands since I couldn’t put it on yet. My back was bloody, I could feel it. She’d cut me with how badly she’d wanted me, and now she looked like she might vomit. I’d just had the most profound physical connection that I’d ever had with someone, and she looked like she was going to throw up. Because…she didn’t love me. This was a mistake. Again. All I would ever be to her was a mistake. Fuck. I’d told her I loved her, and she looked like her world had just ended.
While Kiera put her underwear back on, my body shook with a cold that had nothing to do with the temperature. She dressed herself one-handed while she used her other hand to clamp her mouth shut, like if she let go, she’d immediately get sick. Anger brewed within me as I watched her put her shirt back on. God, was I so disgusting to her? Was what we’d done so repulsive?
When she was dressed, she sniffled and said my name. “Kellan…?”
I hadn’t moved, hadn’t helped her, hadn’t lifted my gaze from the floor. I couldn’t. I was shocked by her reaction. And angry. She’d duped me again. I looked up when she said my name. My eyes were wet, but I didn’t care. I’d risked everything for her…my friendship with Denny, my sanity. I’d put it all on the line, because I’d believed I’d actually found someone in this world who cared about me. And here she was, devastated. She didn’t care. She still didn’t care, not like I needed her to. It killed me that I’d betrayed Denny again, for nothing. I should have gotten in my car and driven away. I could have been out of the city by now. That had been my plan; why hadn’t I stuck to it?
“I tried to do the right thing. Why couldn’t you just let me leave?” Why aren’t I strong enough to walk away? Why am I so fucking selfish? Why am I still in love with her?
She started crying again. Grabbing her jacket, she stood and prepared to leave. I stared at the floor again, wishing I could crawl through it. I wanted nothing more than to disappear. Suddenly, I heard Kiera gasp. She made a move toward me, and I understood why; I could feel the blood dripping down my back. She’d just realized what she’d done to me. Yes, Kiera. You tore me, so much deeper than you realize.