Thoughtful(68)

I cringed internally. No, I was the ass. I should have urged her to make amends with you. But instead, I urged her to my bed.

Denny’s frown shifted to a small smile; seeing it was like a punch to the gut. “But that’s all in the past now, and I don’t want to dwell on it anymore. I want things to go back to how they were before, so I have an idea.”

I had to swallow the lump of shame in my throat. “Yeah…what’s your idea?”

His smile was bright and hopeful when he told me his master plan. “We need to all go out together and unwind. Have a little fun for once. Act our age for a change.” He laughed a little. “Or maybe a few years below that.”

I wanted to crawl into a deep, dark hole. I’d rather chop my limbs off than hang out with my roommates right now. But…I was at a breaking point, and I couldn’t stay here anymore. Hanging out with them might be the last time I ever saw them. The more I thought about it, the better it seemed. Yes, it was time for me to go. Staying in Seattle was slowly killing me. The only option left was for me to leave. I would have this one last night with my roommates, where I would try to pretend that everything was like it used to be, and then I would pack up and head out. Greener pastures awaited. Or at least, less painful ones.

“Sounds like fun, Denny. I have a friend playing at the Shack tonight. We could go listen, if you want.”

I gave him a soft smile as he clapped me on the shoulder. “Perfect.”

Kiera entered the room when we were standing like that. She seemed touched that we were talking; I hadn’t done much of that lately. Denny looked over at her when she approached him. “Can you get someone to trade shifts with you? We’re all going out tonight—mates’ night out.”

A small smile tried to form on her lips, but it quickly fell off her. She didn’t want to do this either. “Ohhhh, that’s a great idea, honey. Where are we going?”

Meeting her eye for the first time since she’d told me to go away, I filled her in on the details. She mentioned she could trade shifts with a coworker, and just like that, everything was set in place. We’d all go out together tonight. One happy family.

“Great!” Denny exclaimed, giving her a kiss. I turned away at the display. God, I hated seeing it, hated hearing it. The affection bounced off them like heat waves rising off the concrete in the middle of summer. It made me want to vomit.

Denny excused himself to go take a shower. When I was alone with Kiera, something I typically avoided, she asked, “You okay?”

I was getting tired of people asking me that. Looking over at her, I could see she was still dressed in her pajamas, her tank top tight over her small, perfect breasts. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, caressing them. And her eyes were a deep, dark green. Incredible, beautiful, and not the least bit interested in me. “Sure,” I told her. “This will be…interesting.”

My words worried her. She stepped closer to me as her brows furrowed. “Are you sure? This doesn’t have to happen. Denny and I can go alone.”

Studying her face, I watched her eyes slightly shift color in the sunlight. I loved the way they did that sometimes. Like everything else about her, I committed it to memory. Even though it was painful to remember, I didn’t want to forget anything about her. “I’m fine, and I’d like to spend one…night…with my roommates.” One last night. Before I leave. Forever.

I turned and left her then, because staying hurt too much, and tonight would be painful enough. No need to prolong the agony.

When I got to the Shack later that night, Denny’s car wasn’t there. I was kind of happy I’d gotten there first. It gave me a chance to prepare myself. I ordered a pitcher with three glasses, then made my way outside. The beer garden was a large fenced-in area, with a stage at one end and tables and chairs at the other. I found an empty table near a gate that led to the parking lot. I had a feeling I might need to make a quick escape later, if this got to be too much.

While I waited for Denny and Kiera, I shifted my attention to the stage, where the band was setting up. The drummer, Kelsey, was a friend of mine. The music scene in Seattle was small; everybody knew everybody. And everybody had slept with everybody. For the most part. Walking over, I raised my hand to her, and she waved back. “Hey, Kellan. How’s life treating you?”

Oh God…where to begin? “Fine. You?”

Kelsey shrugged. “It’s all right. Can’t complain.”

The singer came over. I knew him too. We’d done a few shows together when he’d been with another band. “Hey, Brendon. Good to see you again.”