I shrugged. I may have been drunk at the time, but I’d already answered this question, and I’d meant it. I wasn’t going to be the one to hurt Denny. That was her choice. All of this was her choice. “No, I told you I wouldn’t.” Holding tight to my anger, I lied through my teeth. “It doesn’t matter much to me anyway. I was just curious…”
“Well, no, I’m not…and thank you for not telling him…I guess.” She seemed taken aback by my answer, and my indifference. Why should I care about her, if she didn’t care about me? I was just leveling the playing field. Suddenly, her anger spiked. Her eyes narrowing, she spat out, “What happened to you the other night?”
Grinning wickedly, like I’d been up to nothing but scandalous debauchery, I grabbed my coffee and took a long draw. What happened to me is none of your business, and if I have anything to say about it, you’ll never know how stressed I was about telling you I loved you, or how hurt I was when you ripped the rug right out from under me. You’ll never know anything real about me. That’s the only way I can punish you now.
She walked away after that, and I let her. There was nothing left to say anyway.
Once my coffee was done, I went to my room and hid out. I hated that I was hiding, but I didn’t want to see Kiera any more today. I could still hear her, which was bad enough. I heard her laughing with Denny before disappearing into the bathroom to take a shower. I lay on my bed as I listened to the water running, and images of her naked body rotated through my mind. I hated the play-by-play, and wished I could shut it off. The painful memories of what I could no longer have wouldn’t leave me though. I was stuck in a visual hell of my own creation.
As soon as I could slip out without either roommate noticing, because I couldn’t handle talking to Denny at the moment either, I left for Evan’s. I even took a few extra things with me, since I didn’t plan on coming home. I just wanted to be away for a while. I wanted to be somewhere where I wouldn’t have to see Denny and wouldn’t have to be alone with Kiera. Being around the guys was a great escape.
When I showed up at Evan’s with a duffel bag, he raised an eyebrow at me. “Care if I crash here for a couple days?” I asked.
As I expected, Evan shrugged and said, “No. Can I ask why?”
I could tell from the glint in his brown eyes that he thought it had something to do with Kiera. It did. Exactly what he’d been worried about had happened. I’d caved. I was a scumbag. But Kiera was a scumbag too, and I didn’t really want to talk about her with him.
Throwing on a trouble-free smile, I said, “Denny’s back. He was gone a long time, so I thought I’d give the happy couple some breathing room.”
My voice was a little strained on the words “happy couple,” but Evan didn’t seem to notice. He was too freaking ecstatic that Denny had returned. I know, it’s great news, isn’t it? Now you don’t have to worry about me crossing the line with his girlfriend. Well, sorry to burst your bubble there, Evan, but Denny came back one day too late for that.
While I managed to avoid my house for the most part, I wasn’t so successful in avoiding the bar. Kiera could run me away from one place, but not both. It was easier to be around her at Pete’s anyway. There was safety in numbers. It didn’t hurt so much to see her when I was surrounded by my bandmates, the bar staff, and dozens of women who would love a turn with me. If only for a night. Since that was all I was good for.
I used the opportunities at Pete’s to get back at Kiera in small, pathetic ways. It helped fuel my fire to pick on her, and anger was the only thing keeping me going lately. If I lost the anger…I think the pain of losing her, or more accurately, the pain of never having her, would consume me. Like an empty plastic jug tossed on a fire, I’d collapse in on myself, dissolving into nothing. So I stoked my rage to protect my sanity.
I flirted with Rita at the bar, acting like I was interested in going another round with her. I refused to let Kiera get my drinks for me, and she actually looked offended that I wouldn’t let her serve me. She’d served me enough. I engaged Griffin in his sordid stories, stories that might or might not have even been true. Griffin loved getting graphic about them though. I knew Kiera hated hearing it, so I made sure she had no choice but to listen. I even dragged her into the conversations whenever I could.
She flushed with color almost every time she approached our table. Griffin loved embarrassing her, so the two of us had a great time, but I heard about it from Evan later at his loft. “Why are you picking on Kiera so much?”