Its arrival was inevitable though. When dawn broke through my window, my eyes were already open. I hadn’t slept much, if at all. Last night had been way too close. I owed Denny more than that. So much more.
I was nervous when I went downstairs. Nerves weren’t something I suffered from a lot, so when I got them, they were almost crippling. I was scared that she’d want to “talk.” I didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to pretend last night never happened. I wanted things to go back to normal. Well, our version of normal. I just wanted to hug her and not have it be weird. Maybe if I didn’t mention it, she’d think last night was just part of her dream. God, I hoped she hadn’t had a nightmare about me. I didn’t want to hurt her, not even in her head.
When I heard her coming down the stairs, my hands started shaking. “Stop it,” I whispered, clenching and unclenching them. She didn’t need to know I was freaking out. I inhaled a deep breath, then put on my game face. I should probably thank my parents for giving me so many opportunities to perfect it.
Besides my heart rate spiking, everything was normal when Kiera stepped into the kitchen. Her cheeks reddened, so she was probably still embarrassed. I didn’t give her time to dwell on it. “Mornin’. Coffee?” I extended the steaming cup in my hand to her.
She smiled as she took it. The weariness under her eyes hadn’t lessened any; she must have slept about as well as I had. “Thank you.”
I poured another cup for me while Kiera poured creamer into hers. We sat at the table together, and a second of sadness washed over me. We hadn’t hugged. Kiera frowned, and my thought evaporated. Fuck. She wants to talk. No, please. Let’s just let it go. Some things don’t ever need to be talked about. Like how much I want you, and how wrong it is to feel that way.
“What?” I whispered, wishing I were anywhere but here.
She looked confused as she pointed to my shirt. “You never did get me one, you know.”
I looked down at my T-shirt. It was the Douchebags one she’d mentioned before that she’d wanted. I’d been meaning to grab her one, but it had slipped my mind.
Relief washed through me that we weren’t having the conversation from hell, the one I’d been dreading all morning. “Oh…you’re right.” I was brimming with good feelings now that we were past the hard part. Not wanting to deal with Griffin anytime soon and liking the idea of Kiera wearing my shirt, I stood and slipped it off. Her eyes brightened at my half-nakedness; she suddenly didn’t look tired at all. The way she looked at my body made me want to be naked all the time, but that wasn’t exactly a good idea. The connection between us was already difficult enough.
I fixed the shirt and looped it over her head. She just gaped at me, so I put her arms through the sleeves like she was a child. “There, you can have mine.” She looked good in my shirt. I should have given it to her ages ago.
She sputtered on a response as her cheeks turned a charming shade of rose. “I didn’t mean…You didn’t have to…”
She couldn’t seem to form any more words than that. So cute. I got the gist of what she was saying though, and I laughed as I told her, “Don’t worry about it. I can get more. You wouldn’t believe how many of those damn things Griffin made.”
I turned to leave the room, then looked back at Kiera. She was staring at my ass. When she realized she’d been caught, her cheeks went from rosy to bright red. Most girls I knew would devour me with their eyes and not give a shit if I noticed, but Kiera was always so embarrassed. Containing my laughter, I smiled and looked down. She was so damn adorable, and even though I knew I shouldn’t, I loved the way she looked at me.
“I’ll be right back,” I told her. I gave her another smile, then left the room to get another shirt. My grin was uncontainable as I bounded up the stairs. Thank the fucking stars up above…we weren’t going to talk about it. We were going to sweep the incident under the rug, where it belonged.
While we weren’t mentioning last night, I wasn’t sure where we stood on…well, cuddling was probably the best way to put it. Part of me wanted it to stop; the rest of me couldn’t stop. As long as she was okay with me holding her, I wanted her in my arms.
It took her most of the day to approach me, but when I settled on the couch to watch a little TV before rehearsal, she stared at me with longing. Since I needed her touch and we hadn’t even hugged today, I held my arm out and patted the couch in invitation. Please.
She gave me a breathtaking grin and snuggled into my side. I closed my eyes, content. Nothing had changed. We could still do this. We were fine. Everything was fine.