I pursed my lips, wondering if that was what Kiera was to me. “No…I don’t know. We’re…complicated.”
With a nod, the saleswoman removed the necklace from the fabric display neckpiece. “Say no more. We see a lot of…complicated situations in here.”
She handed me the necklace, and my fingers were shaking as I took it. The guitar was perfectly crafted, delicate but sturdy, and there was a large circle diamond in the center that sparkled in the lights. It was me, and it was Kiera…the perfect embodiment of what we were, or rather, what we’d never be. I couldn’t think of anything better to give her to help her remember me and what we’d gone through. “I’ll take it,” I whispered, not even looking at the price tag.
“Excellent,” the woman beamed. “I’ll go ring it up for you.”
While she walked away, Evan stepped up to me. “Kellan…you can’t expect her to wear that. It’s too obvious.”
I shook my head as I stared at the glow emanating from the diamond. “I don’t expect her to. I don’t expect anything. But this is what I want to give her.” My eyes were watering when I looked over at him. “This is how I want to say goodbye.”
Evan gave me a sad, understanding nod. Not wanting to start bawling in the middle of a high-end jewelry store, I sniffed back the emotion and walked over to the register. The woman was preparing a fancy velvet-lined box. I probably wouldn’t use it. I didn’t want a fancy presentation, I just wanted Kiera to have it. She pressed a few buttons on her machine, then spouted out a high-four-figure total. Evan started choking and coughing simultaneously. He’d probably never paid that much for jewelry. I hadn’t either, but for this…I’d gladly pay three times as much if I had to.
The saleswoman was checking me out the entire time she boxed up my purchase. After she handed it to me with my receipt, she gave me her business card. “If you ever find yourself not in a complicated relationship…call me.”
She gave me a glorious smile and a playful wink. In another life, I would have taken her up on that offer. Not now though. I handed the card back to her. “I’ll never be out of this relationship. Not really. She has me for life.”
The saleswoman’s smile fell away. “Lucky girl,” she whispered.
My answering smile was faint. Yeah, lucky girl. Except, not all luck was good.
When we left the store, small bag in hand, Evan frowned at me. I frowned back. I figured he would be happy that we were done shopping. With a compassionate voice, he said, “I’m sorry you’re going through this. I know it sucks. Well, I can imagine it sucks. I guess I don’t really know.”
I nodded and looked out over the streets that were starting to empty. “It sucks and it doesn’t suck. It’s horrible and it’s amazing, all at the same time. That’s what makes it so hard.”
He gave me a sympathetic smile. “You’re doing the right thing by walking away. If you do it early enough, Denny may not ever know.”
I studied the ground. The right thing didn’t always feel like the right thing. Sometimes it just felt like shit. “Yeah…” Looking back up at him, I said, “I don’t feel like going to Pete’s tonight. Would you mind practicing the song with me again? Just the two of us. I’ll do Matt’s part, and we can get through it without a bass line.”
Evan’s eyes were contemplative as he studied me. “Sure thing, man. Whatever you need.”
Chapter 28
Making Love
I ended up staying at Evan’s, perfecting my goodbye song for Kiera, until I passed out from exhaustion. Evan was still sleeping when I quietly left his place in the morning. I felt worn from the inside out when I settled into my car, but I felt ready to say goodbye. Some small part of me was still hoping I wouldn’t have to…but I knew that was ridiculous. Why in the hell would she give up her perfect relationship with Denny for a broken hunk of junk like me?
Denny’s car was gone from the driveway when I pulled up. I’d been gone for so long, what day it was escaped me. It must be Friday. Matt would have hunted me down by now if I’d missed our gig at the bar. The house was quiet when I stepped inside. I looked into the living room, then walked into the kitchen. When I didn’t spot her, I figured Kiera was upstairs. Or gone. I hoped she wasn’t gone.
Even though my clothes were clean—I’d washed and dried them, and myself, last night while working on the song with Evan—I wanted to peel them off me. I’d been wearing the same outfit for days. When I reached the top step, I heard a door opening. I looked up in time to see Kiera leaving the bathroom. She looked fresh and clean, with her long brown hair curled and bouncing around her shoulders. Her full lips shone with a rosy tint, and her cheeks were highlighted with a light peach color that hinted at the flush that crept up her skin when she was embarrassed. Everything about her was perfect…except her eyes. There was more brown than green in the wide depths this morning, and they looked as worn as I felt. As her eyes quickly filled with tears, I thought she was suffering from as much restrained pain as me. Was that a good thing, or a bad thing?