Kiera’s anger started dissipating as disbelief filled her. “What?” she asked Jenny.
Seeing Kiera was calmer, Jenny dropped her hands from her shoulders. “Kellan wasn’t the one who slept with her.”
I made a move toward Jenny, and Evan made a move too. Knowing how Evan felt about her, I backed off. He was staying out of this for now, but if I started manhandling Jenny, Evan would be all over my ass. And I didn’t feel like getting punched today. Being slapped was enough. “This doesn’t concern you, Jenny, butt out!”
Jenny looked back at me, clearly irritated. “Now it does! Why are you lying to her, Kellan? Tell her the truth! For once, tell her the truth.”
I knew Jenny knew about Griffin and Anna. Griffin had told the tale often enough that she had to have heard it. Honestly, I was surprised Kiera hadn’t yet. Maybe I should have told Kiera what had happened a long time ago, but, well, it was the only weapon I had left against her, and I was reluctant to part with it. I couldn’t speak; my mouth stayed shut and my jaw stayed clenched.
Evan and Jenny didn’t like that. Kiera either. Annoyed, she shouted, “Will someone please tell me…something?”
Jenny’s eyes shifted back to Kiera, and before she even spoke, I knew the charade was over. “Don’t you ever listen to Griffin?”
Mad that my lie was crumbling, I muttered, “No, she avoids conversations with him, if she can help it.” In a whisper, I added, “I counted on that.”
Kiera’s face scrunched in confusion, like she was having trouble connecting the dots. “Wait…Griffin? My sister slept with Griffin?” She said it like she couldn’t believe anyone would sleep with Griffin, let alone her sister.
Nodding, Jenny rolled her eyes. “He hasn’t shut up about it, Kiera. He keeps telling everyone, ‘Best “O” of my life!’” She skewed her face and stuck out her tongue, disgusted by the thought.
Annoyed by the details, annoyed by being back here, annoyed by my life, I bit out, “That’s enough, Jenny.”
Amazed by this news, Kiera shared looks with Evan and Jenny, then all eyes turned to me. “You lied to me?” Kiera whispered.
I shrugged, faking nonchalance. “You assumed. I simply…encouraged that thought.”
Her expression darkened. “You lied to me!”
“I told you, I do that!”
“Why?” she demanded.
It was a fair question, and it was one I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t even look at her anymore, for fear she’d see right through me. “Answer her, Kellan,” I heard Jenny say. I looked at her, standing between us, and she raised an eyebrow in expectation. Frowning, I stayed silent. How could I tell her? How I could I tell her anything? Opening my mouth meant opening my heart. And opening my heart meant exposing it…and she’d hurt me so much already. Another wound would kill me.
Kiera’s soft voice penetrated the silence. “The whole fight in the car…the rain…all of that started because I was so angry about you and her. Why would you let me think—”
“Why would you automatically assume—” I interrupted. She’d imagined the worst of me from the beginning of Anna’s visit. She’d never even given me a chance to be faithful to her. Not that I owed her that. She certainly wasn’t being faithful to me. Or Denny.
“She told me. Well, she made it sound like…” Her voice drifted off as her eyes closed. When she looked at me again, her eyes were soft, apologetic. “I’m sorry I assumed…but why would you let me think that for so long?”
Her face, her voice…they melted the hardness around my heart. I loved her, even now, and I owed her some sort of explanation. Hoping it didn’t hurt too badly, I confessed my sin. “I wanted to hurt you…”
“Why?” she whispered, taking a step toward me. Seeing that the storm had passed, Jenny didn’t try to hold her back, didn’t try to keep us apart.
Kiera’s question cracked my soul. Because I love you, but you don’t want me. Words failing me, I turned away from her. A soft hand touched my cheek and I closed my eyes at the warmth and tenderness there. It had been so long since she’d touched me. “Why, Kellan?” she repeated.
With my eyes closed, the words were easier to find. “Because you hurt me…so many times. I wanted to hurt you back.”
As I reopened my eyes, I could feel the wall between us shimmering. I could feel the pain I’d been swallowing emerging. I’d missed her so much. Seeing her but not being able to touch her, hold her, love her…it was killing me. Kiera was a scar across my heart that would never fully heal, no matter how many random encounters I placed across it. My poor imitations of her were only ripping open the wound again and again. Good or bad, she was forever a part of me.