She liked dating, so when she was seeing other people I wouldn’t hear from her. I told her when she was dating people, we were absolutely not going to be sleeping together, and she agreed. That didn’t work. But we sure as hell tried.
Holly ordered her usual basket of wings and fries, with a beer to chase them. I ordered the one thing on the menu I could generally stomach without regretting life the next day, the pulled pork sandwich. I’m a big barbeque fan, and it wasn’t the worst thing I had ever had.
“So, what’s going on with Kyle?” I asked, taking a drink of my water that tasted like it may or may not have been taken directly from a mop bucket.
“I told you, I really don’t want to talk about it.”
“Well, I’m asking you anyway. You went MIA. I gathered things were going well.”
“He’s an asshole, okay? And he’s kind of a whiny baby.” She took a swig a beer. “And a major momma’s boy.”
“He does still live at home, Holly. What did you expect?”
“Shut up.” She threw a fry at me and missed, even though I was right across the table from her. The Rays game was on all the TVs in the background, and it looked like Holly was throwing about as well as their pitchers.
“What about you?” she asked. “Any potential Mrs. Harpers on the horizon?”
“No. No. Not even a glimmer of one.” I said, picturing April in my mind, as I had been the entire drive to the restaurant and throughout the meal. Part of my deciding so quickly to have dinner with Holly consisted of the possibility that we may end up back at my place in bed, which hopefully would take the married substitute teacher out of my head.
“Luke,” she said, putting her mug down. She stopped everything actually, and looked intently at me. “You know, eventually you are going to have to settle down again, find someone new to love. You can’t keep pushing the possibility of it away forever because of what happened. I’m not trying to be insensitive, but it’s true. You are a great looking guy—you’re smart, funny, and pretty damn good in bed. Someone special is looking for you, and you’ll be too blind to see her.”
Normally, when a girl would say something as kind as this to anyone, I would automatically assume they were referring to themselves as the “someone special.” But, I knew this wasn’t the case with Holly. A few years of being the only constants in each other’s life had brought us a strange kind of closeness, but not one that could ever be romantic.
“I appreciate your concern, really,” I said. It was annoying, but I knew it came from a good place. “Someday I will find someone. It’s not as easy as it sounds. I mean, look at you.”
“Well, at least I am actually looking. I’m the only person you’ve asked out since you were married.”
Part of that was right. I’d slept with many, asked out few.
“Yeah, and look where that got me!”
More fry throwing.
We got the check, and the damage was minimal. We walked out of the restaurant, and the rest of the patrons bitched and wailed loudly about the baseball game that apparently the Rays were finding a way to screw up once again.
I loved baseball, had played it my whole life. But, it was hard to get behind the local team, and I often found myself going to the games hoping they would lose. Thankfully, they usually obliged.
“Do you want me to take you home?” I asked, starting up the car. I wasn’t sure how she wanted this night to end, but if I were honest I would have asked her to come back with me. I needed to get April out of my head.
“What do you want?”
“I’m asking you that. You’re in a relationship.”
Occasionally I felt guilt over our situation, especially when she was seeing someone. The whole friends with benefits thing wasn’t even something I would have ever seen myself doing. I grew up believing in not having sex before marriage and not straying outside of the boundaries of marriage or relationships with anyone. And so I had waited until I was married to have sex. And now look where I am eight years later. Alone, and part time fucking a girl who can’t stay in a relationship for more than a few months. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
“Did you throw out my toothbrush or is it still at your place?”
“Everything is exactly where you left it last time.”
“Okay then. Let’s go.”
The next morning I woke up and got quietly out of bed, trying my best not to wake her. She was a light sleeper, and would stir awake if I shuffled my feet on the carpet too loudly. But, she was curled up on the right side of my bed, facing the wall, in a deeper sleep than normal. The blanket was tangled up around her legs, which gave me a nice look at an ass that could probably win awards if they gave them away for that sort of thing. I trailed my finger up her spine and kissed her on the shoulder.