“No fun when they pass out,” he said. “You gonna pass out on me?”
I felt like passing out right then.
I’ve had some experience with violence. While timecasting discouraged most inappropriate behavior, there were still instances of two people coming to blows because they were both convinced they were right.
Usually, violent acts were fast and ugly. Two or three quick hits, someone going down, and a hasty retreat. People didn’t like to linger. Dwelling on the violence you’ve committed, even if it was justified, was never a satisfying, wholesome experience.
Fights—outside of a televised hyperboxing match—rarely lasted more than thirty seconds. A fight that traversed the entire length and width of a dissy P&P bar, complete with smashed furniture, bent bats, tossed pool tables, broken bones, lost teeth, stab wounds, and several deaths…It was unheard of.
So when I forced myself to look at Rocket, it was eight kinds of surreal. This shouldn’t be happening. Not to me. Not at this moment. Not in this country.
I’d spent most of my adult life making sure things like this didn’t happen.
I felt overwhelmed. And tired. So tired.
There might not be dignity in surrender. But there is finality. The willingness to give up, just so it could be over, was a powerfully tantalizing feeling. With one direct punch, Rocket could end my life. My pain would end along with it. My worries would be gone. If victory was impossible, why keep fighting?
I took a deep breath, let it out slow, and realized I already knew the answer.
This battle wasn’t with Rocket. There was no contest. I couldn’t beat him.
So it wasn’t about winning.
The battle was with myself. The measure of a man’s worth was all about what finally made him give up.
Rocket laughed. “You gonna pass—”
I clenched my hands and raised them.
“Just shut the fuck up and fight, bitch.”
For a fraction of a second, Rocket appeared uncertain. Then he came at me.
He swung. I ducked. He feinted. I dodged. I swung. I connected. No effect. I kicked. I connected. No effect. He kicked. I jumped away. He punched. I dodged. I punched. I connected. No effect. I punched. I connected. No effect. He punched—catapulting me off my feet, flipping me end over end until I came to rest on my belly, sucking air and exhaling pain, my cold hands and shaking legs the first symptoms of going into shock.
Rocket towered over me. He was going to reach down, grab my arm, and start twisting until things snapped. Bone, muscle, tendons, ligaments, veins, arteries, flesh, skin. To think that a human being would want to tear off another’s arm was disturbing. To think it was about to happen to me was unfathomable.
Rocket reached down. He took my wrist.
I scissor-kicked the bastard in the nose, hard as I could, elated when it burst like a Fourth of July firework, showering me with streams of blood.
Then I got to my feet, again, to face him, again. This was my fate. To trade blows with this monstrosity, this grotesque parody of a human being, until he beat me to death.
“Come on,” I said, raising my fists. “Let’s go.”
And then I saw something on Rocket’s face I never expected to see.
I saw fear.
But before I could be empowered by it, and take the initiative, and make him feel what he’d undoubtedly made many men feel before he killed them, Rocket reached behind him and grabbed something in his belt.
When he brought his hand forward, I questioned my own senses. He wasn’t holding anything. All I saw was his empty fist.
Then he shifted, and out of nowhere, it appeared. He shifted again. It was gone. Again. It was back. I realized what was going on. I could see it sideways, but not straight on.
“Oh…no…” Rocket had a Nife.
TWENTY-FIVE
Rocket with a Nife was so redundant I almost laughed at it. Sort of like giving a shark a machine gun. Nifes were for total psychos, so it wasn’t a stretch that he owned one. But the thought of facing an assailant with a Nife made me want to vomit.
To reinforce my feelings on the matter, Rocket swung the Nife at the overturned pool table. He sliced off the corner, the thin blade cutting through the slate like it was a watermelon.
I was dead. The thought was both depressing and liberating. The only thing left for me to decide was how I wanted to go out.
The decision didn’t take long.
I wanted to go out swinging.
Rocket sauntered over, taking his time. His face was a bloody mess, making his smile all the creepier.
“You know what this is?” he asked, waving the Nife in front of him.
I scanned the floor around me for weapons, then realized it didn’t matter. The Nife would make easy work of a thrown chair or a plastic table leg. If I had a chain saw, it would make easy work of that as well.