“Harder.”
I reared back and really whacked myself, almost tipping over.
“Is that how this is supposed to work?” I asked, shaking away the wooziness.
“Naw. I haven’t turned it on yet. I just wanted to see if you’d hit yourself.”
“Asshole.”
McGlade grinned, then pressed a button on a remote control he had in his hand. A dial tone came on in my head.
“Call Vicki.”
The headphone connected to hers, but I got voice mail. She must have still been dealing with the cops and couldn’t talk.
“Still with the SLP, huh, Talon?”
“Yeah.”
“You know, she’s got to be one of the last natural redheads on the planet. They’re almost extinct. She is natural, right? The carpet matches the drapes?”
“She’s natural.” If he hadn’t just saved my tail, I might have objected to where this conversation was heading.
“That’s so hot. You know, maybe I could reduce my fee if she could fit me into her schedule. Is she taking new clients?”
“No.”
“How about for quick sessions? I’d only need about two minutes.”
“Let’s stop talking about Vicki.”
“What if it wasn’t overtly sexual?”
“That wasn’t a suggestion, McGlade.”
“I like feet,” he stated matter-of-factly.
I stared at him.
“Maybe she could step on me sometime,” he continued.
Seeing he wasn’t going to let it go, I said, “I’ll check her calendar.”
“Thanks, pal. I also like blow jobs.”
I stood up and rubbed my neck. “How long was I out?”
“An hour. I threw your clothes in the washer/dryer. Should be done by now.”
“You have a washer/dryer?”
“I get it. You said that because my clothes are always dirty. Jackass.”
“Next you’ll say you have a maid.”
“I do have a maid. But when she comes over we spend the whole time in bed and she never has a chance to clean anything.”
“Does she have cute feet?”
“No. Her toes are hairy, and they smell like cheese. But I let her step on me anyway.”
I reminded myself that I’d come here willingly. “Where’s my DT and belt?”
“All your shit is in the laundry room.”
I walked out of the office. McGlade scooped up Penis and followed me.
“You want something to eat? I could order out. There’s a place up the street that delivers. They do the best bald eagle nachos. I know most people think bald eagles are vermin, like rats. But these things melt in your mouth.”
I found the laundry room. The clothes were on the drying cycle, with a few minutes left. My utility belt and gear were on top. I picked up my DT.
“Can you hack my Taser?” I asked. “Make it work again?”
“No. Wi-Fi is hackable because there are so many free hot spots. Tesla electricity is all chip-based, dependent on ID and account numbers. Unhackable.”
“Can I buy one of your Tasers?”
“Mine are DNA-specific. Only I can fire them.”
Just like mine and every other registered Taser out there. I couldn’t even use his bullets.
“How about the Magnum?”
“Sure. Do you have half a million credits? Because that’s what it’s worth.”
“You’re supposed to be this legendary black market dealer, McGlade. Don’t you have any weapons?”
“Really? Legendary?”
“Weapons, McGlade.”
“No, Talon. Weapons are so 2050. I deal in books, posters, art, real denim blue jeans, that kind of shit. Didn’t you hear we’ve given up violence as a species in favor of a green utopia?”
“I heard. But someone isn’t playing by those rules.”
McGlade folded his arms. “Yeah. You’re that someone. I saw the transmission, you and that old, ugly chick. Remind me never to play Twister with you.”
“That wasn’t me.”
“The ID chip proved it was.”
I stared at McGlade. “ID chip?”
“Yeah. The transmission zoomed in with electromagnetic radiation.”
I picked up my DT and tuned in to CNN. They were playing the video of Aunt Zelda’s death. But not the early one; the one I assumed Teague made. They were playing mine, which showed the close-up of Alter-Talon’s ID chip.
Sata? Had he given his copy of the transmission to the police?
No. The channel cut to the wreckage of my beautiful Corvette, the newscaster saying they took my TEV out of the trunk and found the recorded footage. Teague came on next, talking to a reporter. His arm was in a sling, and he looked seriously pissed. I switched from closed captioning to sound.