I forget to count when I’m with you.
The voice, my voice, echoes in my head over and over again. That phrase seems to be a mantra I’ve created for myself. Because of her.
I close my eyes and I see her bright blue eyes. Kind and compassionate. Hungry and loving.
She loves me.
And I love her.
Reopening my eyes, I plead with them to my father. To ask him where she is. Everything is confusing and hazy but when it comes to thinking about her, I can recall every tiny detail of her beautiful face.
“I’m sorry but…” Dad trails off and reaches for my hand. I jerk it away before he can touch me.
My heart rate thunders in my achy chest and the beats are out of control. The machine is dinging noisily at my side. Why is he sorry? What happened to her?
“We’d like to ask you a few questions, Mr. McPherson,” a woman says from somewhere else in the room. “Or should I call you Mr. Atlantic?”
The panic in my chest doesn’t subside and I’m at the point where I feel as if it might rip right down the middle at any second. My skin would tear while the bones would crack as my heart makes its escape. Blood would spurt and spray the dingy, yellow ceiling tiles, making them a brilliant red instead.
An attractive older woman steps into view, her brown eyes narrowing at me. I don’t know her, yet she appears to know me. Before she gets too close, Dad stops her with his arm.
“That’s close enough, Detective Stark.”
Stark?
Why does that name ring all sorts of bells in my head?
She nods her acquiescence. “We’d like to talk to you about Baylee Winston and Gabriel Sharpe. She’s wanted for questioning right now for her involvement in your attempted murder. We have reason to believe she was Mr. Sharpe’s accomplice. Is it correct that you were sending funds to help her mother?”
The room spins and I snap my eyes closed to keep from throwing up. With this tube down my throat, who knows what would happen. I could drown on my own vomit. It would spew and spew but would have nowhere to go. Gobs of stomach acid would find their way into my lungs, burn through the tissue, and eventually suffocate me. Then who would help Baylee?
I reopen my eyes and affix my gaze to my father. With furrowed brows I plead for him to explain to her that Baylee is my love, not some criminal. He frowns and nods, a knowing look on his face.
“Parking is a nightmare around here,” another voice complains, interrupting our exchange when he enters the room.
A middle-aged man with a receding hairline strolls in with his hands on his hips. I become fixated on his unusually long fingernails—too long for a man—on each hand. Black. Dirty and filthy underneath. And crawling with bacteria. Who the fuck doesn’t clean under their fingernails?
My dad is saying something to Stark about Baylee, but I can’t take my horrified stare from the man who takes those same disgusting fingers and retrieves a discolored toothpick from his front pocket. He pops it into his mouth between his teeth and starts gnawing on the thing like he’s a goddamned beaver.
Smack. Smack. Smack.
The sound grates on me but the sight is much worse.
Moisture forms on his lips and I shudder to think of how many millions of disgusting microbes are infesting that mouth of his.
He pinches the end of the toothpick to whittle between two of his teeth. I want to look away from this sick show but I’m completely glued to his revolting behavior.
When he slips the toothpick from his mouth, inspecting the end of it, I gag.
A small chunk of something mushy sits on the tip. His tongue darts out and he slurps it off causing my stomach to clench in protest.
What kind of fucking pig did they let into my room?!
The room spins and my world goes dark as I attempt to force the images out of my mind. But the vision is already permanently etched there. I can almost sense the toxic microbes from inside his mouth tainting the air around me and my lungs ache from the very idea of that shit finding its way in there. I can practically feel it crawling inside of me, contaminating every inch of my insides.
I gag again and again.
A commotion resounds in the room. Shouts and voices. I ignore it all as I try to calm my heart, which is clawing painfully in my chest to get away from the contaminated air I’ve breathed in. Just when I think I’m about to pass out, a cold blast enters my vein. At first, I assume it’s something horrible and toxic, but then it travels quickly and blissfully up my arm, leaving a numbing wake in its path. It can’t get to my brain fast enough.
I beg for it.
Crave it.
Need for it to numb the madness.
And it does. Soon, I’m attempting to blink my eyes open to tell them Baylee is my savior, not some monster.
But I can’t open my eyes. I can’t tell them about her.