This Man Confessed(64)
“You treated me too gently. When you thought I was pregnant, you stopped being fierce in the bedroom and I didn’t like it. I want my dominant Jesse back.”
He pulls back and his eyebrows shoot up. “What the hell have I done to you?”
“You’re addictive, and lately I’ve been having Jesse withdrawal.” I’m frank and honest with my answer. I need to get this out because another eight-ish months with gentle Jesse might send me crazy.
His frown line flickers straight across his brow. “I’ve taken you hard lately.”
“Yes, but only when you thought I wasn’t pregnant, and when you thought I was, I had to provoke you into it. I want shock and awe.”
His frown deepens further. “Don’t you like sleepy sex?”
I sigh and reach up to grab his cheeks. “You won’t hurt it, you know.”
“It?” He laughs. “Let’s get one thing straight, lady. We will not be calling my baby it.”
“It’s hardly a baby at the moment.”
“What is it, then?”
“Well, it’s probably more like a peanut.” I watch as his eyes sparkle delightedly and a cheeky grin spreads across that otherworldly face. “Oh no, Ward!” I laugh.
“What?” He leans down and rubs his nose up my cheek. “It’s perfect.”
“I am not referring to our baby as peanut! End of!” I yelp as I’m grabbed on my sensitive hipbone, and I start bucking under him, somewhere between delight and torture—the torture for obvious reasons and the delight because this is normal. This is us. “Stop!” I cry.
And he does. “Shit!” he curses.
“What are you doing?” I shout angrily. He looks down at my stomach and then back up at me, his expression shamed. “See.” I hit him with critical eyes. “That is what I mean! If you don’t reinstate some of your normal behavior soon, then I’ll be moving to my parents’ for the rest of this pregnancy.” I’m not even being dramatic. I absolutely will. “I mean it, Ward. All of the fierceness, the rough, the countdowns and fuckings of various degrees, I want them back, and I want them now.”
He’s just looking at his wife like she’s a complete nutcase. I think she is. “Calmed down yet?” he asks seriously.
“That depends on whether any of this is sinking into this thick skull of yours.” I reach for his hair and yank it.
“Ouch!” He laughs a little and then sighs, rolling over onto his back and taking me with him. His knees come up to support my back, and he studies me thoughtfully. I let him. I sit and wait for him to piece together what he wants to say until he inhales deeply. “Do you remember when I found you at the bar, when I showed you how to dance?”
I smile as I relax against his thighs behind me. “That was the night I realized I’d fallen in love with you.”
“I know because you told me.”
“Hmm. Must have been the dancing.”
“I know.” His shoulders jump up casually. “I’m good.”
I shake my head at his impertinence. “You’re arrogant.”
“It would seem that I’m a little brighter than my beautiful wife,” he says, wrapping his palms around my ankles.
“You’re really arrogant.”
“No, not this time. This time I’m just honest. You see, I realized that I was in love with you way before then.”
I pout. “Does that make you cleverer than me?”
“Yes, it does. The whole time you were running, I was so frustrated. I was thinking there must’ve been something wrong with you.” He smiles shyly. “You know, because you wouldn’t submit to me.”
“Like the others did.”
He nods, and I sigh.
“It was only because I knew I’d get hurt. Even though I didn’t know you, it was obvious you…” I pause briefly. “Were experienced.” I was going to say a womanizer, but I don’t think Jesse could be labeled that at all. Women threw themselves at his feet, made it easy for him, so he didn’t need to resort to chasing. Until he met me.
His fingertips start tracing up my shins, and he watches their path. “When I left you for those four days…”
“Don’t!” I blurt. “Please don’t talk about that.”
“Just let me explain something. It’s important.” He reaches up and pulls me down so we’re nose to nose. “I was so confused by what I was feeling. It took that time away from you to piece together exactly what it was. I couldn’t work out why I was behaving like a madman. I really did think I was going fucking crazy, Ava.”