It’s he who looks shocked now. His eyes are narrowed, his hair starting to dampen at his temples from a stressed sweat. “I know you’re pregnant, and I know how it’ll be.”
“Oh?” I don’t bother restraining my laugh. “How’s that, then?”
His face softens and he makes my heart slow when he reaches for my cheek and gently strokes it. “Perfect,” he whispers, flicking his eyes to mine.
Our gazes are locked for a short time, but I’m snapped from the spell that he places me under when my name is called and I’m swiftly brought back to where I am and why. My anger swiftly returns, too. It wouldn’t be perfect. Maybe for him, but for me it would be torture. I stand up, causing his hand to fall from my knee and his other from my face, but to my utter shock, Jesse quickly rises, too. Oh no! He is not coming in with me. This is going to be mortifying enough without my neurotic Lord trampling all over my doctor’s office. Anyway, if I am pregnant, I need Jesse not to know. He would never let me terminate his baby, and I hate to think of what lengths he’d go to in order to stop me.
“Don’t you dare!” I grate, and he recoils. “Sit!” I point to the chair and flash him the most threatening face I can muster. It’s hard. I could vomit at any moment.
Much to my utter shock, he wisely lowers himself down to the chair gingerly, his expression truly dazed by my outburst. I turn and leave him looking like he’s been slapped in the face, and I take a deep, encouraging breath before entering my doctor’s office.
“Ava! Good to see you.” Doctor Monroe is probably one of the nicest women I have ever met—early fifties, a little bit of middle age spread, and a sharp blond bob.
“And you, Doctor,” I reply nervously as I perch myself on the end of a chair.
She looks concerned. “Are you okay? You look a bit green.”
“I’m fine; I just feel a bit icky. It’s probably the heat.” I fan my face. It’s even hotter in here.
“Are you sure?”
I feel my chin start to tremble, only serving to increase the concern on her round features. “I’m pregnant!” I blurt out. “I know you’ll give me a hard time about the pills, but please don’t make me feel any worse. I know I’m a fool.”
Her concern transforms into sympathy immediately. “Oh, Ava.” She reaches for my hand, her empathy only making me feel like even more of a hopeless fool. “Here.” She hands me a tissue. “When was your period due?”
“Today,” I answer swiftly.
Her eyes widen. “Only today?” she asks. I nod. “Ava, what makes you so certain? Your period can be a few days late, just as it can be early.”
“Trust me, I know.” I sniffle. I’m no longer in denial, and I’m facing this head-on.
She frowns and reaches into her drawer. “Take this to the toilet,” she says, handing me a pregnancy test.
I waste no time. Leaving Doctor Monroe’s office, I peek down the corridor and spy Jesse’s back. He’s still sitting down, but he’s leaning forward, elbows braced on his knees with his head in his hands. I don’t dwell on his obvious despair and walk quickly into the ladies’.
Five minutes later, I’m back with my doctor and staring at the test, which is neatly positioned at the other end of her desk. She taps away on her keyboard while I frantically tap my foot on the floor and then hold my breath when she reaches over and picks the test up, looking down at it briefly before turning her eyes to me.
“Positive,” she says simply, holding it up for me to see myself. I knew it would be, but the confirmation makes it even more of a reality, and it also enflames the hurt and madness that has brought me to this point in my life.
“I want a termination,” I say clearly, looking straight into Doctor Monroe’s eyes.
I watch as she visibly sags in her chair. “Ava, of course, this is your decision, but it’s my job to give you the options.”
“Which are?”
“Adoption, support. There are many single mothers out there who manage just fine, and with your parents’ support, I’m certain you’ll be well looked after.”
I cringe. “I want a termination,” I repeat, ignoring all of her advice and sincerity. She’s absolutely right, though. I would be looked after by my parents…if I was single. But I’m not. I’m married.
“Right.” She sighs. “Okay, you’ll need a scan to determine how far gone you are.” She starts retapping away on her keyboard, while I sit feeling small and stupid. “I’m prescribing some more pills so once you’ve sorted yourself out you can make sure you keep protected. The hospital will give you plenty of information with regards to aftercare and side effects.”