“Maybe tomorrow,” he tries to appease Jesse. “We’ll see if you’re up for a little walk about tomorrow. You’ve just come round, Jesse.”
“What about this, then?” Jesse indicates the needle in his arm, but the doctor shakes his head and Jesse snorts his disgust.
After seeing through his observations, the doctor leaves and I settle back in the chair. “The more you cooperate, the sooner you’ll be released.”
“You look tired,” he says, changing the subject and directing the concern onto me. “Are you eating?”
“Yes.” My traitor fingers dive into my messy hair, totally giving me away.
“Ava,” he moans. “Go now and get something to eat.”
“My mum fed me a salad. I’m not hungry.”
His eyes widen at the mention of my mum. I know what’s coming. “What have you told them?”
“Everything,” I admit. I blubbered my way through it all while my mum soothed and hushed me. She was quietly tolerant. It was bizarre. “Except your four-day absence.”
He nods thoughtfully, almost acceptingly. He must know I could never have avoided it. “Okay,” he says quietly. “Go and get something to eat.”
“I’m not hun—”
“Don’t make me tell you again, lady,” he snaps. “Piss bag or not, I’ll march you down to that fucking restaurant myself and shove some food down your throat!”
I wisely halt all further arguments. I’m really not hungry, but I know he absolutely would, so I drag my tired body from the chair and retrieve the twenty that my dad left for me in Jesse’s bedside cabinet. “I’ll get you something, too.”
“I’m not hungry.” He doesn’t even look at me. He’s lost in thought. He’s ashamed, but he shouldn’t be. I’m not, so neither should he be.
His mood, and my affronted state, goes nowhere near to dampening down the elation dancing through me. The presence of his arrogance and challenging ways really is a sign that I have my Jesse back. I wouldn’t have him any other way.
Chapter Thirty-four
I’m munching my way through a Dairy Milk as I round the corner that leads back to Jesse’s room, and I halt as soon as I see Sarah hovering outside Jesse’s door. She goes to take the handle, but pulls back again, then turns, deciding to leave but spots me and freezes, looking out of place and awkward. I haven’t seen her here since Jesse was admitted, and I thought she had stayed away, but seeing her now, hanging around the corridor, I realize that she’s probably been here most days. I know if I had seen her before, I might have lashed out in grief, but not now. I’ll never forgive her for what she’s done, but having learned of her history, I’d be inhuman if I didn’t feel some compassion for the woman. She lost a child. It’s tragic and she’s put up a hard-faced front to protect herself. She wanted Jesse. She saw a reason to unite and soothe each other’s grief, whereas he saw her as a reminder of what he lost because of a poor decision. Two suffering souls who used each other in different ways, except Jesse found his salvation elsewhere. And Sarah still wants him to be hers.
“Are you okay?” I ask, not knowing what else to say to her. I’ve shocked her with my question. She looks tearful, but she’s trying to keep up a hard persona. I quickly realize that she doesn’t know he’s awake. I’m sure John has been keeping her informed, but he doesn’t know either. “He’s come round.”
Her eyes snap to mine. “He’s okay?”
“He will be, if the stubborn idiot listens to the doctor.” I hold up a miniature jar of peanut butter that I found in the restaurant. “And eats.”
She smiles. It’s a nervous smile. “I hope you’ve got more than one of those.”
“Ten.” I lift my arm where a paper bag is dangling. “But it’s not Sun-Pat, so he’ll probably reject it.”
She actually laughs, but stops quickly, and I know it’s because she thinks it’s inappropriate. It probably is, not because the situation isn’t funny, but because she’s laughing with me.
“I know everything, Sarah.” I need her to appreciate that my empathy is only because of my new knowledge. “I’ll never forget what you tried to do to us, but I think I understand why you did it.”
Her red lips part, her mouth falling open in shock. “He told you?”
“About your little girl. About Rosie. About Carmichael, the car accident, and why the girls were with Carmichael in the first place.”
“Oh.” Her eyes fall to the floor. “It’s always been ours.”