“He loves you,” he whispers. “He wishes he could eliminate the past that’s hurting you.”
I turn my face to his and see green puddles of regret. “Then why did you see her? Why did you desert me on our wedding day to see her?”
“I couldn’t leave her at the gates with guests arriving, Ava.”
“So tell her to go away.”
“And cause a scene?”
“What did she want?” I ask. She was here for a reason. “Did she know we were getting married today?”
His frown line crawls across his brow and sets firmly in place, his lip disappearing between his teeth. “Yes, she knew.”
So he’s spoken to her? “And she still came? Was she hoping to stop it? Was she going to barge into the summer room and declare that we shouldn’t be joined in holy matrimony?” This is laughable.
“I don’t know, Ava.” He looks away.
“When did you speak to her?”
He sighs. “She’s been calling and turning up at The Manor. I’ve told her repeatedly I’m not helping her. I’m not sure what else I can do, Ava.”
“What’s your definition of an affair?” I ask.
His eyes swiftly return to mine, all confused by my question. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, she’s in love with you, and you’ve said it was only sex. It was obviously more to her.” I assess him, trying to gauge his reaction.
“Baby, I’ve told you before, just sex. They always wanted more, but I never gave them any reason to expect it. Never.”
I wince at the referral to they. He means many—many women who want him, many women who’ve had him, many women who have fallen in love with him. I want to tell him what Coral said about him making her need him, but then he’ll know that I intercepted her call. And after having him, who wouldn’t want him again, maybe even think they need him? I know that I did, but now my need is a lot deeper than his physical touch. Now I need him to breathe. “I don’t want you to see her again.”
He returns his eyes to mine. “I’ve no need to.”
I take a deep breath and return to scanning the ground. “I’ve had enough of my wedding. I’d like to leave.”
“Ava, look at me.”
“Jesse, don’t start making demands when I’m feeling like this.”
“Perhaps you didn’t hear me right. I said, look at me.” He’s not asking gently now, but my despondency prevents me from defying him.
“What?” I ask, following through on his unreasonable order.
He falls to his knees in front of me and takes my hands. “I’ve fucked up. I’m so sorry, but I was trying to keep her away from you. I panicked. I didn’t want her kicking up a stink on your special day.”
“It’s your special day, too,” I remind him quietly. “You should’ve just told me.”
“I know.” He leans up and wraps me in his arms. “Let me make it up to you. What do you want me to do, baby?”
I relax into him. “Just take me to bed.”
“Deal.” He stands me up and reinforces his apology with a deep, meaningful kiss. “We’ll make friends properly.” He scoops me up and starts back toward The Manor.
We enter the summer room and are immediately attacked by my mother’s infuriated glare. “There you are!” She scuttles toward us, still tipsy, but obviously annoyed. “You’ve not cut the cake and you need to have your first dance. Tell me, are we having a wedding?”
I want to do none of those things. Evening guests are here, and we should socialize, but I just can’t be bothered.
“I’m taking Ava upstairs. She’s tired.” He doesn’t stop for my mum, and he doesn’t put me down. I’m being carried through the summer room, through all of our guests, and he isn’t stopping for anyone.
“But it’s only ten o’clock!” She’s horrified, as I expected. “What about your guests?”
“There’s a bar, a band, and plenty to eat, Elizabeth. I’m sure they’ll survive.” His tolerance of my mum is lessening by the hour.
“Ava, please. Talk some sense into him.” She’s pleading, and I suddenly feel terrible. This is a special day for her, too, and my Lord has trampled all over it.
I clamp my palms around Jesse’s cheeks as he continues with his long strides, and Mum continues to flank us. “A little longer,” I say quietly, and he halts in his tracks.
“You’re tired.” He’s frowning a little. Yes, I am tired, but not physically. I’m mentally exhausted. “Let me take you to bed, baby.”