This Man Confessed(148)

I’m unaware that my feet have taken me to the foot of the wall. I’m slowly walking the length of it, absorbing it all, each flick of my eyes finding another picture that I didn’t see before.

“Here.” Jesse’s quiet husk pulls my bewildered eyes from the Ava Wall, and to a black, permanent marker pen. That alone makes me smile. “I want you to sign it.”

I take the pen and look up at him, unsure if he’s playing or not. “Sign it with my name?” I ask, a little confused.

“Yes, wherever.” He waves at the images.

I glance back at the wall and laugh lightly, still dazed by what I’m confronted with. I step forward and pop the lid from the pen, looking for a spare space for me to scribble my name, but then I spot the first shot that he ever took of me and I approach it, armed with my pen. Smiling to myself, I write beneath the shot of me fleeing The Manor.

Today I met you.

This day was the beginning of the rest of my life.

From this moment, I was your Ava x



Then I make my way over to the image of me sitting by the docks on the launch night of Lusso.

Today I realized how deep I was.

And I wanted to be so much deeper with you.



I move along the wall to the picture of me drunk in Jesse’s car and smile as I write,

Today I learned that you can dance. I also admitted to myself that I was in love with you, and I think I might have told you too.



I’m in my stride now. I quickly locate the picture of me in the chunky jumper, after he manhandled me into the damn thing.

Today I found out that I’m just for your eyes.



Then I’m writing underneath the picture of me walking naked from the bedroom after I found him collapsed at Lusso, and after he showed me how he does his talking.

Today I learned that I’m for your touch and for your pleasure only. But my favorite part of today was when you told me that you love me.



My pen drifts over to the shot of me handcuffed.

Today you introduced me to the retribution fuck.



I quickly scan the wall and find a picture of me walking in front of him through the foyer of The Ritz.

Today I found out how old you are…and that you don’t like being handcuffed.



I can’t stop. Each and every image brings a thought, and I find myself marking picture after picture with my memories in words. He doesn’t stop me. I just keep going, like I’m writing a diary of the last few months of my life. I don’t need to record it; each and every moment is etched on my brain, good and bad, but these are all good. And there are so so many of them.

My hand is aching by the time I reach my final picture—my final picture for now, anyway. I’m sure I’ll be thinking of more captions to add. It’s the one of me standing on the veranda in Paradise. I push my pen to the wall.

Today I decided that you’re right. We will be okay.

And yes, I do have a bump…ish, and I love you for giving it to me.

I’ll always love you.

End of.



Replacing the lid on the pen, I take a deep breath and finally face my Lord, bumping into his chest and getting a waft of his fresh, minty scent. I look up at him, finding a straight face and clouded green eyes. “I’m done,” I whisper quietly, but he’s not looking at me. He’s studying all of my captions, his eyes traveling across the wall and pausing every now and then to read what I have written.

He takes the pen and moves toward the picture of me fleeing The Manor, and then gets up close and personal with the wall. I can’t see what he’s writing, and I shift to try and look around his body, but he’s too close. He finally moves away, and I see it, scrolled across the top of the image.

Today my heart started beating again.

Today you became mine.



I press my lips together and watch as he moves across to an image of me seated in the long grass of The Manor’s grounds in my wedding dress, top to toe in ivory lace and with the sun shooting bullets of light through the trees behind me. I’m looking away, probably at the photographer. Again, Jesse gets up close to the wall, and then moves away, chewing the end on the pen. He’s drawn a perfect halo above my head and written:

My beautiful girl.

My defiant temptress.

My lady.

My angel.

My Ava.



I smile and step forward, taking the pen from his mouth and dragging him from his daydream. I replace the lid and drop it to the floor, then gracefully climb up him until I’m wrapped around his big body.

His palms are cupping my bum and his eyes are burning into mine. “Ava, today has been the longest fucking day of my life.”

Those words have me pushing his suit jacket from his arms and my lips crashing to his, ravenously.

“Easy,” he warns gently, moving each arm in turn so I can rid him of his jacket. “What’s the rush?”