This Man(79)

Resting my back against the door, I try to get some air into my lungs. I look up around me. I’m cornered. You would think I would be safe in the ladies. I can’t look at him, I’ll cave if he gets is hands on me. I need not to be in this fucking position! How did I get myself in the situation? I jump when the bang of a fist on the door resonates through me.

‘God damn it, Ava!’ Bang! ‘Ava, please.’

I repeatedly jolt forward under the thumps of Jesse’s fist. I’m screwed. ‘Go away, please!’ I shout.

His fist collides with the door again. ‘No, fuck. Ava!’

I just have to leave. He won’t restrain me in such a public place. I need to walk away. Block it out…block him out. There’s silence. I hold my breath. Has he gone? I stand quietly for a few minutes, my eyes darting around the small cubicle, constantly looking up to check he’s not coming over the top. He’s gone. I stupidly relax against the door.

Within in two seconds flat, I’m thrust forward and he’s in. When I turn around, there’s less than a foot between us, and the first thing I notice is his rapid breathing, his black shirt lifting with the rise and fall of his chest. I stare at his jeans. If I look up at his handsome face, I’m at an instant disadvantage.

‘Ava, look at me.’ he demands harshly. I clap my hands over my ears, lowering myself to the toilet seat. I need to block it all out. ‘Ava, why are you doing this?’ he asks.

Oh, how long have I got to sit here and block it all out? I start humming in my head as I stare down at the floor. I feel his hands clap around my wrists, pulling my hands away from my ears. His touch heats my skin. Why does he think I’m doing this?

‘I don’t want to do this in the toilets of a bar, Ava.’

‘Then don’t.’ I try to regain possession of my hands but, as usual, he overpowers me. ‘Please, just let me walk away.’

He slowly crouches down in front of me, still holding my wrists. ‘Never.’ he whispers.

The tears in my eyes spill over, splashing the top of my bare knees. ‘Why are you doing this to me?’

He clenches my jaw, pulling it up so I have no choice but to look at him. His eyes are glazed. ‘Doing what?’

Oh, the arsehole. His impudence knows no bounds. I use my free hand to roughly brush the dampness away from my cheeks, suddenly horrified that I am, yet again, crying all over him.

‘You persistently pursued me, bombarded me with calls and texts, fucked me into oblivion and threw a wobbly when I re-arranged our meeting. You stormed off four days ago, and I’ve not heard from you since!’ I pull my other hand from his grasp. ‘Now, you turn up, trampling all over my recovery night.’

He’s the one to look away now, he’s ashamed. ‘Watch your mouth.’ he murmurs.

Watch my mouth? After all that, he tells me to watch my mouth? He’s impossible!

‘Fuck off, Jesse.’ I spit.

His head snaps up. ‘Mouth!’

I look at him in shock, and he scowls at me, his frown line deep on his forehead. I can’t cope with this. I’ve had four days to put my encounters with this man down to experience and rebound fucking. I was well on my way to forgetting him – kind of. Why is he here refreshing it all for me? I knew I should’ve stayed away. I could kick myself.

I stand up in front of him, leaving him crouching, but he reaches up and clasps behind my bare legs. The fear of his evocative touch is completely warranted. I’m immediately on guard. The heat emanating from his palms is spreading like wild fire through my blood stream, and there is no way to free myself from it. The toilet is behind me and he’s blocking the door.

‘Let me go, Jesse.’ I grate, with all the firmness my quivering vocal cords will allow.

He looks up at me. ‘No.’

‘You seemed to manage just fine on Tuesday.’

He pushes himself up to his feet, sliding his palms up the backs of my legs as he does. It sparks a vicious bang between my legs. ‘I was mad.’ he says quietly as he looms over me.

‘You’re still mad. Did you know I would be here?’ I ask. He stares down at me, but he doesn’t answer. ‘You knew I would be here, didn’t you?’ I push.

‘Sam.’ he offers, completely unashamed.

‘Sam?’

His face is poker straight. ‘He rang Kate.’

‘She never said!’ I cry in despair. The devious cow! I can’t believe she’s done this to me. There will be some seriously strong words exchanged when I get my hands on her.

‘I’m going to kiss you now.’ It’s that tone, and I know I’m doomed. ‘You’re lucky, because if I had you anywhere else, you would be getting a reminder...right...about... now.’