“You cannot make that noise if you want this to go on any longer,” he says, pulling the pillow from my face and smoothing my hair out once again.
“Sorry,” I whisper, wishing I could hide the redness creeping up on my face.
“Never be sorry. That sound, your sound, is so goddamned hot. It’s just going to take me some time before I can handle it without…” he pauses and smirks, and I smile, bashfully.
Nate kisses me again, this time his lips rough against mine, and he works his body so he’s lying next to me. His hand grazes down my neck and shoulders, and his thumb circles each breast, pinching and pulling just long enough that I can feel the pressure building between my legs. He moves his hand lower, running the tips of his fingers under my waistband a few times, and I can tell he’s testing me, making sure I’m okay with him touching me…there.
After his hand pauses flat, resting over my bellybutton, I lift my hips and reach down to unbutton the top of my pants, pulling them down with my thumbs until my legs can kick them free completely, and Nate just watches, his eyes moving from mine to my newly exposed hips and skin.
“Are you sure?” he asks, swallowing loudly.
“I’m so incredibly sure,” I say, looking him right in the eyes and holding his gaze until I know he believes me. Without pause, Nate moves his body so it’s resting totally on mine. His weight is immense, but the warmth of his skin against mine is the most amazing feeling I have ever had. Something as simple as his shoulder against mine sends shivers throughout my body.
Cupping my face in his hands, Nate kisses me tenderly now, his elbows holding his chest up above mine. But all I can focus on is the hardness that’s digging into my center below, and the only barrier between us—two small layers of cotton. I wonder if I would look like a slut if I simply ripped them away.
Nate backs away from me, until he’s straddling my knees, and he keeps his eyes on mine when he puts the tips of his fingers in the top of my panties, pulling them down the length of my legs, achingly slowly.
“Can I kiss you…here?” he asks touching his finger to the very edge of my pubic bone, so very close to where I desperately want him, and need him. My eyes go wide at his question. I’ve never been kissed…there. And I can’t mask my worry on my face that I won’t be…good…down there. “Please?” he asks again, the most unbelievably sexy smile stretching over his face. Dimples. I nod yes, and once again pull the pillow over my eyes.
He teases me at first, kissing the inside of each knee, and then my thighs. When I feel his hands push my legs wider, I start to think about shutting them, but then I feel the pressure of his tongue on my very center, and oh my god! It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before, the way he tastes me and teases in just the right spot. Once again, my hips arch into him, and he lets out a faint chuckle, pressing the warmth of his palm flat against my abdomen.
When I feel his finger push into me, I pull the pillow from my head, reaching down to grab the strands of his hair, unable to stop the sensation taking over. I’m so full of need and want—I have become someone else entirely. As Nate stands back to his feet, I sit up at the edge of his bed and pull his boxers down completely, not wanting to wait any longer. I wrap my hand around him, and am bold enough to look. I want to know, no, I need to know how large he is, because I’m nervous, but not so scared that I want to stop. I. Never. Want. To. Stop.
“Let me just get something,” Nate says, walking over to his dresser drawer and pulling out the small foil packet. I watch as he puts the condom on, and I shift back in his bed so my head is once again on his pillow. Nate climbs back on top of me quickly, his hand holding himself so he can guide things to just the right position.
“I have to ask, one more time. Are you sure?”
“Nate, for the love of God, if you don’t have sex with me right now, I’m going to take care of myself,” I say, slapping a hand over my mouth I’m so shocked at my boldness.
Nate grins, and dips his head, kissing the top of my breast with his smile and laughter. “While I also wouldn’t mind watching that…I think I’d rather participate,” he says, kissing me gently as he pushes slowly inside me.
The stretch hurts at first. My body isn’t used to this, and I wouldn’t say my last experience was long—or enjoyable—but I want it to be different this time. I want it to be more, to be the way it’s supposed to be when you’re almost nineteen and in college.
Nate is slow and tender, never pushing into me completely. My eyes are closed tightly, and I’m sure I’m not making a pleasant face when he runs his fingers across my cheek, his lips brushing against the side of my face. “Are you okay?” he whispers, his forearms, biceps, shoulders—every muscle in his body fully flexed to hold himself back.