This Is Falling(61)

I hover over her, kissing her neck first, then the line along the strap of her bra. Her body rises up, arching into me when I come to the rounding of her breast, and I savor the moment, and let her just feel human—her body, for just the slightest instant, reacting to her needs and desires instead of her fears.

I kiss along the soft material of her bra, letting my lips and cheek feel the peaks of her nipples beneath, and I let my hot breath soften them before I continue to kiss between each, slowly inching my way down her body until I feel her tense up at my arrival at her scars.

“Beautiful. Every. Single. Part of you,” I say, letting my lips fall to the long callused line first, taking note when her breath hitches. I continue to glide my hand along each mark, covering each with a kiss before moving on to the next, until I have cherished every inch of her.

When I come back to her face, her cheeks are sopping wet with tears, and she’s no longer trying to hold in her emotions. Reaching my hands deep into her hair, I bring her forehead to my mouth, and I hold her against my lips. And again, I wait while she quivers and breathes—deep, labored breaths in between sobs—until her body calms, and eventually she’s sleeping.

This…is love.





Chapter 20





Rowe





Waking up in Nate’s arms was like beginning a brand new life. In the last two years, I’ve gone to bed without the aid of sleeping medication only a handful of times. Usually, I’m sick with something like the flu and that’s why I can’t take my medicine. But not when I’m with Nate. He’s my placebo.

He was staring at me when my eyes finally focused. He said he had only been awake for a few minutes, but I have a feeling he had been looking at me for longer than that. I didn’t get to shower at all yesterday, and I feel a little grimy now because of it. But I also don’t want to wash away Nate’s kisses. I know it seems juvenile—the thought of actually savoring a kiss. But I want to.

I slipped back into my room before class and was able to dress in the closet without waking Cass and Ty. I watched them sleep for a few seconds, satisfied at my good work, and then jogged to my first class, making it there right on time.

Next semester I was going to have to rethink how I organize my classes, because having philosophy this early in the morning is a challenge. My brain isn’t ready to think this hard, and I’m pretty confident that I am going to fail the quiz I just turned in. I have learned one thing from this two-hour block class I take every Monday and Wednesday—I am not going to major in philosophy. I like it, bending my brain and forcing it to think about things differently, to see reasons behind actions. But it doesn’t feel like something I want to do forever. But art—not necessarily the making of, but the appreciating of—that was something that I needed to explore more.

My mind has clearly wandered, because when the desks start shifting and my classmates start standing to leave the lecture hall, I snap from a trance. Yeah, this is another chapter I’m going to have to read twice having missed every word of today’s lecture.

I’m the last to make it out of the class, and when I see Nate sitting along the small wall by the bike rack waiting for me, there’s worry on his face. But when he finally sees me, he kicks away from the wall and comes my way with long strides, kissing me the second he’s close enough.

“Are you okay? You looked upset?” I ask, my inner voice falling into its natural pattern of doubt and self-loathing. Of course I think he’s regretting last night, rethinking what he saw and how he feels, but I’m quick to tamp those feelings down. They ruled my life for way too long, and I’m not letting them ruin this.

“I just didn’t see you. Got worried, that’s all,” he says, completely capturing me all at once.

“What’s this?” I point to the paper bag in his hand that looks to be saturated with grease. Nate just grins, his dimples deep when his eyebrows move up and down.

“Lunch.”

“You brought me lunch?”

“Yeah, well, you packed that sad little lunch the other day when I found you eating before your art class, so I thought I’d surprise you. I don’t have to be to algebra for a while yet,” Nate says, grabbing my hand and pulling me with him until we’re nestled between two trees in an area of the park where I can see everything.

I know what it is the second he rips open the bag, and my mouth begins to water for the Sally’s burger. He also filled the bag with fries, and I start stuffing my mouth with those before he even has a chance to unwrap our burgers.

“Wow, piranha!”

“Sowwwwwy,” I say, my mouth stuffed with fries. I cover my face with my napkin so I can talk more clearly while I chew. “I didn’t eat breakfast, so I’m kinda starving.”