“Hold on, give it a minute,” he says, threading his fingers through mine, and pulling my body in closely against his. He nods in Ty’s direction, and I look up to see him following Cass with his eyes. Within seconds, he hands his cup back to Paige and looks over at his brother and me.
“Yo, dude. I’m taking off, too,” he says.
“Yeah you are,” Nate says, his knowing smirk taking up every bit of his face.
“Yeah, yeah,” Ty says, holding up both middle fingers.
“Holy damn. That worked!” I say, my heart speeding up with adrenaline to the point where I almost feel like running. And I might, except my head feels a little bit like it’s floating away from my body.
“Whoa, slow down there, slugger. I think you’ve had enough,” Nate says, taking the cup from my hands.
“Awe, I barely even finished one drink,” I say, seriously thirsty for more, and liking the small tingles firing away along my skin. I was buzzing for sure, but I think I was more affected by the way Nate was holding me, and the warmth of his leg and side and chest along the right half of my body.
“I know, but I just got you home. I don’t want to spend tonight watching you lose your onion burger in the dorm bathrooms,” he says, his eyes lowering to look at my lips. His breathing changes, and when his teeth tug lightly at his bottom lip, I can’t seem to stop myself from leaning in to kiss him, completely forgetting the fact that three other girls are out here with us.
As soon as my lips hit his, I’m sunk, and when his hands reach for my face, I move to my knees, sliding one leg over him so I’m straddling his lap, our lips never breaking. He sits up taller when I do this, letting his hands trail down my shoulders and arms, reaching around my waist to the back pockets of my shorts, pulling me to him even tighter.
This is desire. I have had sex exactly once in my life, and it was awkward and uncomfortable, just like a teenager’s first time should be. But that was planned and orchestrated and coordinated to go along with Josh’s parents’ work schedules. Everything running through my mind right now is impulsive, and there’s a part of me, a raw and hungry urge, that wants Nate completely.
“Good god, get a room!” Paige’s voice breaks through our kiss, and Nate pulls his lips from mine, his eyes focusing on nothing but my eyes and mouth.
“That’s probably a good idea. Ladies, I trust you can find your way home,” Nate says, standing with me wrapped around the front of his body, and quickly moving his lips back to mine. He carries me that way all the way to the ball-field gate while Paige whistles behind us. “If Ty is in my room, I am kicking him out,” he says, his voice almost a deep growl in my ear.
“If Ty is in your room, I will kick him out,” I say, moving my hands to his face and continuing our kiss once again. Nate carries me all the way to the main road across the street from our dorm building, and then he lets my body slowly slide from his until my feet touch the ground. His grip on my hand is tight, and I can feel my heartbeat in every inch of my body, the thump-thump growing faster and stronger the closer we get to Nate’s room.
Thankfully, there’s no need to kick Ty out when we get there, and Nate pushes the door closed behind us seconds after we enter, locking it before coming back to me. I tug at the long-sleeved hooded T-shirt he was wearing, and he helps me bring it over his head, quick to find my lips again once it’s off. He’s backing me toward his bed, and we’re both working to kick our shoes off, tripping over one another and laughing when our feet get tangled.
Once I feel the back of my legs rest along the edge of his mattress, I sit back, my hands resting on either side of me, waiting for Nate to push me completely on my back. But when he reaches over and presses the switch on his desk lamp, my body drains of every feeling, and panic replaces it.
“Don’t turn the light on,” I say, my voice breaking while I struggle not to completely succumb to the tears I feel just under the surface. “I…I don’t want you to see me.”
Nate
Her voice is fucking heartbreaking, and it stops me cold. She’s the single most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, and the thought of touching her like this and not being able to see her—not just her body, but to see her face, her lips, her eyes flutter closed—is torture. But the way she asks, begs me to keep us in the dark, is about something bigger.
“You’re beautiful,” I say, stepping back enough to let my fingers graze along her cheek and chin. She leans into my palm, her head heavy as she closes her eyes.
“No, I’m not,” she says, moving back in my bed until her back is against the wall. She draws her knees into her body and brings her hands to her face next, then begins to cry.