This All Happened(102)

            And the one with the crutch says, We’ll settle for that.

            I put out the rum and some glasses and mix one with Pepsi and another straight.

            Me: Now how am I going to guess you?

            The crutch says, with an ingressive voice, Oh, you’ll never guess us.

            There is a scratching at the door then, and a little dog wags in. It’s Josh’s dog.

            Oh, now there’s a clue.

            The dog barks then wags at the crutch man. Oh, he’s a nice dog.

            I guess them but it’s not Josh and his parents. It’s Toby and his mother and father. They are sweltering under their garb. They say, Come out with us now.

            How come you have Josh’s dog?

            Oh, the Harnums moved to Alberta.

            I wrap a quilt around my waist. Toby’s mother takes down a

            sheer curtain and I place the curtain over my head. I shove on a beanie and they say,Youre perfect. Grab your guitar and let’s go down to the road.

            We’ll leave the dog in here.

            We walk past Josh’s house. The windows are boarded over. A For Sale sign below the mailbox. And then I notice a lot of the houses in Heart’s are boarded over.

            The guitar loses its tune in the cold. Toby raps on the screen door.

            Any jannies in tonight?

            And in we walk, banging our boots in the porch.

            They take down a bottle of rum and some glasses and get the girls down to look at us, but the girls arent interested. They frown at us. And the missus holds under her arm a little cocker spaniel that barks. She doesnt tell the dog to stop, and she doesnt take it away. Just points it at us, barking.

            I play I Can’t Help It If I’m Still in Love with You, in falsetto. And they all sing along. The guitar has warmed up again.

            But they can’t guess us, and they look interrupted, so we leave, and Toby wants me to continue down the shore.

            I say, I’m heading home. No one knows me.

            Sure, look at the length of you. Who else could you be? Well, they never twigged.

            When I get back I remember Josh’s dog. He spends the night, at the bottom of my bed. The only thing left of the Harnums.

            29 I realize living in Heart’s Desire is agony. When youre on your own, you can focus on your agony all day long. I decide to drive back to town and confront it. I shovel Lydia’s front steps, salt her path. I make Egyptian lentil soup.

            I’ve decided to attend Lydia’s party.

            She is making quiche and pear melba pies. There are casseroles of turkey soup. I’ve learned, from Lydia, to make pastry without touching it. Craig is arranging a bowl of marzipan apples. I notice he’s put on weight and let his hair grow an inch. He has a softer look. His glasses are made of titanium, the hinge is one single wire bent and the temple pushed down through the coil.

            Max, out of allegiance to me, says, Hey, Craig, nice glasses. They come in men’s?

            Craig: No. But I hear you do.

            Craig has zippers on his front pockets. A quiet man.

            Wilf is in a corner chanting to himself: Got to get through. January. Got to get through. February.

            Pause.

            Got to get through. January. Got to get through.