She felt his stiffen behind her, then exhale, the breath cooling her hot skin. “I can’t. Not anymore.”
“Why?”
Hard thighs and the feel of rough denim against the back of her legs made Keira tremble and when Kona’s brushed one kiss on her shoulder, that tremble transformed into a shudder. “You know why.”
Keira rolled onto her back so that she could look up at him and her eyes went directly to his cheek, to the bandage across his face and the bruise that shadowed behind it. She caught her gasp behind her hands, eyes instantly filling, then pouring with hot tears that she didn’t wipe away.
Kona caught each one, the undamaged side of his face denting with his tiny smile. “I’m okay. Seven stiches. It was nothing.”
“God. Oh, Kona.” Keira tried to cover her face, didn’t want to see it, didn’t want Kona to see how gutted her shame made her.
“Shh. Stop now.” She let him pull her hands down, let him kiss her forehead. She’d do whatever he wanted, whatever he needed and right then, he seemed to need her head under his chin, his fingers in her hair. “I deserved it.”
“What? No.” Kona didn’t resist Keira’s tug on his collar. He didn’t flinch from the rise of her voice. “No one deserves that. I’m so… I have anger issues. I’ve had them since I was a kid and I just… God, Kona… that’s not an excuse.”
His shaking shoulders stopped her, had Keira leaning away from him to look at his face. The left side was still numb, likely from the anesthesia the doctor’s gave him before they stitched it up, but the right side carried a smile, it was thin, but it was still there. “I think I figured that out a couple of months back when you came tearing into the cafeteria looking like you were going to claw my eyes out.” He took her hand, kissed her knuckles. “I’m familiar, Wildcat. You think I don’t have issues? You don’t think my anger isn’t as stupid and quick as yours?”
He touched her faced, ran his fingertips over the dip above her lips. “I’m an asshole.” She didn’t disagree with him. “I shouldn’t have touched the redhead and I can’t touch anyone else because I don’t want to.” He leaned down to rest on his elbow, coming closer to her. “The thing is, I don’t wanna touch anyone but you.” Kona looked up at the ceiling as though he were seeking some sort of help from the heavens. “I’m gonna sound like a pussy whipped idiot.”
Keira pulled his head down so he had to look at her, breath held by where Kona was steering the conversation. “Why?”
“I want you. You know that. I want to do things to your body that are probably very illegal. But it’s not just that. Tonight, when that girl was on me, offering me shit that I’ve heard from a hundred other girls, all I could think about was how I wanted it to be you saying that shit to me.” He leaned closer. “But that would be too easy, right? Me taking you. Me inside you, that shit’s easy, Wildcat.”
“Don’t call me—”
“Baby, shut the hell up.” His kiss was deep, tongue brushing against her lips, silently asking to be let in and Keira obliged. In that moment, she’d give Kona her mouth, her body, anything he wanted from her. The kiss was over too quickly and when he pulled away from her, he left her lips humming. “You gutted me, telling me about your other options and when you did, I realized, I didn’t want easy anymore.” Kona’s voice got deeper, came out at a whisper and when he looked at her then, his eyes announced everything; told her all things she knew he couldn’t say aloud. “It kills me, thinking of you with anyone else. And I know I sound like even more of an asshole, but I think I’d kill anyone who touched you. That night, back at Nathan’s? The party? I saw you with your cousin, talking to Mark, letting him touch you, that’s when I knew.”
“Knew what?”
“Knew that I didn’t want him touching you. That I wanted to touch you. You reminded me of that tonight. When you tossed me out, when you thought I didn’t want you, Keira, I couldn’t take it. I didn’t want to be something you walked away from.” Another kiss and Kona let this one grow longer, deeper. When he pulled away, his breath came out uneven, panting. “I suck at this. Being with someone, letting them consume me. I was stupid, I’ve been stupid about you, careless, jealous and I thought I just wanted to get with you, to have you once and forget I did. But I know now, that’s not it.” Keira saw something flicker in Kona’s eyes, it made him look anxious, uncertain, but she touched his face, moved her thumb over his mouth and the gesture calmed him, seemed to steel him. “I’m… I’m into you, Wildcat. I’m so into you and I’m not sure what to do about that.”