Kona regrouped, jogged back to the line, shaking his head to clear it of Keira and her soft skin and that huge knot on her forehead. “Shit,” he said to himself, squeezing his eyes shut to get rid of her face.
Luka elbowed him as the settled in formation. “What the hell is going on with you?”
“Back off, Lu.”
He dug his feet in deep, hustling, working his muscles until they screamed and somehow managed to block his man, to get his runner right where he needed to be.
“Finally!” Robins yelled, but Kona didn’t bother with more than a nod in his coach’s direction. “Second line, move your asses.”
Kona tore off his helmet, grabbed a water from the sideline bench and drank down half of it before Luka could jog next to him.
“Brah, what’s the problem?”
His brother’s features were set hard and Kona appreciated the concern, the way Luka was trying to help him, but he didn’t need a lecture; he was tearing himself up enough for the both of them. “I need a minute, Lu.”
“You don’t have a minute. You’re in your first year of eligibility, jackass.” He got in Kona’s face, slapping the water bottle out of his hand. “Get your shit together and run like your ass is on fire.”
And for once, Kona listened to his twin. He spent the next half hour tearing down the field, hustling, shuffling with his shoulders straight, attacking the sleds like an animal, pouring everything in his head onto each pad and the poor redshirts that got landed with him.
Somehow, though, Robins didn’t care. “Hale, get your ass over here,” the coach said when practice was winding down. Kona met him on the sidelines, helmet in his hand. Robins didn’t bother looking up from his clipboard. “Get rid of those pads. You’re on the chute for twenty minutes.”
“Coach…”
“You spent the first hour of my practice running like an old lady.” Finally, he glanced at Kona, eyes cold, hard, like Kona’s half-assed efforts were a personal offense. “You wanna play tomorrow night, son?”
Kona nodded, trying to swallow down his irritation.
“Good. Then get your ass on the track and put on that damn resistance chute. I need you ready.”
Nathan and Brian laughed at him as he walked off the field, striping off his jersey and pads as he went and Kona gave them a middle finger salute. An assistant coach Kona had only met twice outfitted him with the chute and Kona tore down the track, cursing Robins and his own stupidity as he ran.
Keira’s voice came back to him then. Between each thump of his heart and the heavy pant of his breath, Kona heard her words over and over.
Just walk away.
Just walk away? From her? Was she out of her head?
Kona’s thoughts and the aching guilt that crawled into his chest when Keira’s head slammed against that window drove out the tension in his body, made the pull of the chute behind him seem like the toddler tugging on his shirt. He ran to get away from how stupid he’d been thinking she belonged with him. Of course she turned him loose. He didn’t deserve her. He couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. He’d known it would end, felt it in his gut, but Kona was selfish, greedy for what he wanted and the only thing he wanted then was Keira.
It took a full minute for the sound of the coach’s whistle to register. The cloud lifted from his head and exhaustion fell on him, like a drain unstoppered.
“Hale!” Robins yelled from the field and Kona moved his chin, acknowledging him. “Pack it up.”
Luka met him as Kona picked up his pads and jersey and he took the water bottle his twin offered. His brother had that look, the one that told Kona he was going to nag.
Kona downed the water and fell to the ground, sitting with his arms resting on his knees. Luka joined him, leaning back on his hands. He was giving Kona a moment to settle, but Luka was impatient. Kona could see by the way his brother shook his leg that he was gearing up for a fight.
Kona sighed, took one final swallow of cold water and then he nodded at his brother. “Go ahead.”
“What was that?”
“Luka, back off. I don’t feel like hearing you bitch at me.”
“Well somebody needs to. You’re fucking this up.”
Kona threw the bottle and it just missed Luka’s head. “It’s one practice. One out of how many? I’m not allowed an off day?”
“No. You’re not.” Luka kicked his foot. “Not even one. There is too much riding on this, Kona and you know it. You have to be perfect, all the time. You have to work harder than anyone else out there.” He turned his head, watching Nathan and Brian as they slung water at each other, emptying each of their bottles as they chased each other off the field. “We both do. We’re up against guys that have two years on us. This ain’t freshman year anymore. We’re out of the weight room and on the field. We have to be better than everyone on that line.”